Survivor: Bleach Style
by Sovereign64
Summary: 20 contestants, 39 days, 1 island, 1 million dollars...Aizen's your host. Which character will emerge victorious? Warning: Severe OOCness. Think you can handle that? COMPLETE! More than 14,000 Hits!
1. Meet the unfortunate victims!

Ryo: Hi guys, I came up with this idea while watching Survivor. Since I do love watching reality shows, I've decided to do a Survivor story…with the cast of Bleach! Can the characters of Bleach survive madness?

Ichigo: Of course I can!

_**Survivor: Bleach Style**_

_**Prologue: Meet the unfortunate victims!**_

The camera pans over a large and lush tropical island in the Ryukyu Islands, Japan. A rather monotone voice overlays the images.

"This is where our twenty contestants will have to survive for 39 days. Of course some of them won't see the end. Some of them won't last. Watch alliances crumble under the strain as each person realizes only one of them can walk away with a million dollars. And without further fan fare I present our special guest host for this run of Survivor…Sosuke Aizen!"

Sosuke Aizen walks out onto the sandy beach, in his trademark white jacket, white robes, purple sash and white hakama.

"Welcome to this special edition of Survivor. I'm your host Sosuke Aizen. Let's meet our unfortunate contestants." Aizen said, smiling at the camera.

He now pulls out a clipboard and looks over the names of the contestants. If he didn't need the money, he sure as hell wouldn't be here. But hey even an evil backstabbing shinigami captain to the Soul Society has to pay rent, and the Espada hasn't given him a raise lately.

"Alright, our first contestant on the **Soul Tribe**. He's the most sexiest guy in the Espada and has lots of fangirls, **Ulquiorra Schiffer**! God I need a drink." Aizen said, wiping the sweat of his forehead. Hey, come on, he may live in Hueco Mundo which is a warm desert place but even he sweats like hell, you know?

Ulquiorra walks into the island while wearing a white tank top which the number 4 on it, a pair of khaki pants and sandals. He shielded his eyes as he walks in. "Argh! My eyes! They burn!"

"Yes, Mr. Dimwit. That's what happens if you stay in dark rooms for too long. Now go sit down!" Aizen said. Ulquiorra shrugged and sits on a nearby log. Aizen looks at his list again.

"Our next contestant is another good looking guy who is also an evil bastard like me, **Grimmjow Jaegerjaques**!" Aizen announced.

Grimmjow walks into the island while wearing his trademark white jacket, black sash and white hakama. He snorted as he glares at Ulquiorra and walks over to him and sits next to him.

"Next, we have the shinigami girl who is famous for her big boobs, **Rangiku Matsumoto**!" Aizen said.

Rangiku walks into the island while wearing her necklace, a revealing pink tank top and blue jeans. She then sits next to Grimmjow.

"Hey girl, you look great." Grimmjow said to Rangiku.

"Oh, thank you." Rangiku said flattered.

"Yeah, I'm sure they will go well together." Aizen said sarcastically. "Next we have ah yes,** Gin Ichimaru**!"

Gin walks into the island while wearing a red bikini.

"Oh God!" Aizen screamed, covering his eyes and turning his head away. "Christ's sake! Somebody give him a shirt or something!"

_**PLEASE STANDBY…**_

"Heh, sorry ladies and gentlemen about that brief transmission failure." Aizen said to the camera as he sweatdrops. "Next, we have our favorite orange haired girl who did join the arrancar once,** Orihime Inoue**! Whee! Oh jeez, I never forget her wearing that beautiful Hueco Mundo outfit of hers. She looks so sexy in that. Yeah…good times." Aizen sighed lovingly.

Inoue walks into the island while wearing a pink t-shirt that says, "Ichigo is my love monkey" on it and a white skirt. She decided to sit next to Ulquiorra since she noticed Ulquiorra, Grimmjow and Rangiku looking uneasily as they have inched away from Gin.

"Next, we have another back stabbing bastard to the Soul Society, like me, and Busta Rhymes wannabe, **Kaname Tosen**!" Aizen said, then his eyes shot open as he looks at the list again. "Wait, Busta Rhymes wannabe? Which stupid author would write that?!"

Kaname Tosen walks in while wearing his trademark purple sunglasses, a black t-shirt and black pants. Gin jumps on him, about to hug his good friend, but Tosen quickly punches Gin in the face before he could hug him.

"Our next member of the Soul Tribe is our favorite yellow haired old guy, **Kisuke Urahara**!" Aizen announced.

Kisuke walks in while wearing his green and white striped hat, black jacket, green robes, green pants and sandals. He sits next to Tosen.

"Next! We have the twisted captain of the second division, **Soi Fon**!" Aizen said.

"Hey! You can't call Soi Fon twisted like that!" Gin cried as he jumps onto Aizen's back.

"Oh man, it touched me!!" Aizen grabs Gin by the neck, and tosses him into the trees behind him. "Damn, now I need a bath!"

Soi Fon came running out a moment later, looking quite lovely, in a black tank top and black pants.

"You arrogant bastard! How dare you beat out poor innocent people like that?!" Soi Fon then proceeds to bitch slap Aizen, while Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Rangiku, Tosen and Urahara cheered for her.

"Commercial!! Commercial would be good about now!!" Aizen screams as Soi Fon beats the crap out of him.

2 minutes later…

Aizen combs his messed up hair as he gets up from the ground. After that, he puts away his comb and reads his list again. "Right, let's see…next we have that cool looking shinigami punk, **Shuhei Hisagi**!"

Hisagi walks into the island while wearing a choker around his neck, black jacket, white shirt and blue jeans. As he walks in, he could hear fangirls screaming for him. Hisagi stops walking for a while and looks around, figuring out where the screams come from. But the screams immediately stopped as he looks around. He shrugs and walks over to the log and sits next to Soi Fon.

"Finally, we have the father of Sakura Haruno, **Szayel Apporo Grantz**!" Aizen arched an eyebrow as he looks at the list again. "What the crap? Father of Sakura Haruno? Seriously, who is the one who writes this list?!"

Szayel walks into the island while wearing a white tank top with the number 8 on it and a pair of white pants. He then sits next to Hisagi.

"And that's it with the Soul Tribe! Next we have the **Shinigami Tribe**!" Aizen then drops his smile and for a good reason too. "The first contestant is argh…how should I say this…that punk who always ruins my plans in taking over the human world…" Aizen's mood darkens considerably as he grumbles the name of the first member of the Shinigami tribe. "**Ichigo Kurosaki**…Must…control…violent…urges."

Ichigo walks into the island while wearing a blue t-shirt, Black pants and black shoes. He glares at Aizen as he walks into the island and after glaring at him for a while, he walks over to a separate log and sits down.

"Next we have AH HELL! If one isn't bad enough, Ichigo's little sidekick, **Rukia Kuchiki**." Aizen grumbled.

Rukia walks into the island while wearing her trademark grey uniform, red ribbon, grey skirt and black shoes. She then sits next to Ichigo.

"Why do I always end up teaming up with you all the time?" Rukia asked Ichigo.

"I don't know. It could be either because of the many IchiRuki fans out there or the fact that we are the perfect team in the anime." Ichigo said as he shrugs.

"Next time, oh, that sexy tights-wearing trollop, **Yoruichi Shihouin**!" Aizen said.

Yoruichi walks in while wearing her trademark orange robes and black tights. "Whoa, whoa, whoa." Yoruichi said as she walks over to Aizen who gulped. "Trollop?" She asked. She then proceeds to do a roundhouse kick at Aizen's face and Aizen hit onto the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"FATALITY!" A random voice boomed from out of nowhere. Ichigo, Rukia and the members of the Soul Tribe cheered and hooted while Yoruichi turned around, smiles and bows down in front of the contestants.

Aizen rolls onto his side, and squints toward the camera, then makes a plea in a very distraught and somewhat high pitched voice. "Commercial! And some ice please…"

2 minutes later…

Aizen stands in front of the camera once more after combing his hair, though he now looks more uncomfortable than before. "Right, next on the Shinigami Tribe is er…I don't know. Some guy named…**Yasutora Sado**." Aizen said in confusion

"It's Chad!" Yasutora 'Chad' Sado yelled from outside the camera view.

"Yeah whatever. Chad Sado." Aizen said puzzled. "Seriously, who's this guy anyway?"

Chad then walks into the island while wearing a black shirt and white pants. "Hooray for me!" Chad yelled as he raises his arms up into the air. However, nobody cheered and cricket chirping sounds can be heard.

"Stupid fans." Chad mumbled as he droop his arms. He then sits next to Yoruichi. After Chad sits down, Rukia leaned towards Yoruichi and whispered to her.

"You know, I know Aizen sort of deserved that but…I mean damn even I felt that." Rukia whispered.

Yoruichi shrugs. "He's bigger than me so I don't play nice."

"I noticed." Rukia smirked.

"I heard that!" Aizen snapped. He angrily looks back at his list. "Next we have the good looking Quincy guy, **Uryu Ishida**!"

Uryu walks into the island while wearing his trademark white Quincy uniform. He sits next to Chad.

"Seriously, Uryu. How do you cool guys get so many fans even though I'm one of the main characters of the show." Chad asked Uryu.

Uryu shrugs. "Maybe people don't like your um…personality?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Next we have Rukia's sexy captain of the seventh division, **Byakuya Kuchiki**! Whee!" Aizen squealed like a retard.

Byakuya walks into the island while wearing a blue jacket, white shirt and black pants. He turned his head to the Shinigami Tribe and asked, "Guys, what's up with Aizen squealing like that?" All the members of the tribe shrugged.

"Next we have the cute and lovable shinigami, **Hanataro Yamada**!" Aizen then turns his head to the Shinigami Tribe and frowns. "And seriously guys, you got to help him out when he comes in because he's about to embarrass himself on national television."

Hanataro walks into the island while looking around the island in confusion. He wore a red t-shirt and blue shorts. He walks over to Aizen in fear. "Aizen? Where am I? What am I doing here? I WANT TO GO HOME!" He cried with tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Sorry kid, but the only way to get off of this island is to get voted off in the tribal councils. NOW GO SIT NEXT TO BYAKUYA!" Aizen screamed. Hanataro cries as he walks over to the log and sits next Byakuya. Byakuya pats Hanataro's back to make him feel better.

"Hey! You can't just screamed at him like that!" Rukia yelled at Aizen.

"Oh shut up." Aizen said. "Anyways, this whole introduction to the contestants thing is really getting into my nerves, and taking way too long. Cause I got like a date later with the makeup girl." Aizen grins stupidly. Everyone else stares at him with blank expressions. "What? I mean I may be a treacherous bastard, and maybe I'm not entirely human, but I do date damn it! Anyway our final three contestants are **Toshiro Hitsugaya, Hinamori Momo and Renji Abarai**."

The last three contestants are pushed into camera range. Toshiro is wearing a black shirt and blue jeans, Momo is wearing a blue tank top and blue shorts while Renji is wearing a white shirt and grey pants. All three look slightly bewildered. Aizen shuffles over to the Soul Tribe and hands each team member a white buff with the word 'Soul' on it. He also hands Grimmjow a map.

"That's to get to your campsite. There's a bunch of stuff there, you're gonna need, and like you gotta start a fire and stuff." Aizen then shoos the Soul tribe off. The Tribe marches off looking slightly bewildered. "Oh and don't forget to make your tribe flag." Then our evil host stumbles over to the Shinigami Tribe. He hands Byakuya a map to their camp site and each tribe member a black buff, with the word 'Shinigami' on it. "Alright, same thing, make fire, find food…blah…blah…blah. And don't forget the flag thing. Now, off you go." Byakuya shrugs and the Shinigami Tribe heads off toward their new home. "Alrighty then, time for some fun!" Aizen said, smiling at the camera before leaping away merrily from the cameraman.

**END OF CHAPTER**

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_The first immunity challenge…_

_Alliances are made…_

_Inoue makes fire…_

_Ichigo finds the water hole…_

_Hilarity shall ensue…_

Ryo: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things will become more interesting (and hilarious) in the next chapters. So stay tune and read and review! And remember…

SOUL: Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Rangiku, Gin, Inoue, Tosen, Urahara, Soi Fon, Hisagi, Szayel

SHINIGAMI: Ichigo, Rukia, Yoruichi, Some guy named Chad, Uryu, Byakuya, Hanataro, Hitsugaya, Momo, Renji


	2. Day 1

_**Chapter 2: Day 1**_

**Soul Tribe Camp**

The members of the Soul Tribe stare at the equipment neatly lined up on the ground. There are two spears, some rope, a large canvas, some paint for their flag, a small piece of cloth also for their flag, three large pots, a machete, and a book on the local wildlife. Hisagi, Tosen and Ulquiorra examine the spears, while everyone else argues over who is going to be the leader.

"I do believe that it should be me, since I am the only perfectly intelligent person around here." Szayel says, looking somewhat smug.

"Keep on dreaming. Only I should have the honor of being the leader since I'm the greatest villain here." Gin smiles evilly but the bikini is ruining the whole evil effect.

"Whatever. Neither one of you is going to win the million dollars, you're just not sneaky enough." Soi Fon said as she brushes her hair while eyeing at Urahara.

"No way Soi Fon. I should be the one since I'm so hot and even have my own fan club." Grimmjow said, smiling goofily.

"Oh shut up Grimmjow, you can't even be bothered to help the Espada to clean up and do chores for them. So why should a lazy man like you be the leader?" Urahara explained, then turns his head angrily at Soi Fon.

"Why don't we make a contest out of it?" Rangiku spoke up, being the 'always-giving-good-advices-to-other-people' person as usual. "That way, it's fair."

"Alright then. Ulquiorra you think of contest, since you'd be unbiased." Soi Fon says, returning Urahara's glare. Ulquiorra turns away from the spears, looking rather uninterested.

"Fine, the first one to make a fire is the leader, happy?"

"That will do very nicely. First of all, we'll need several…" But Hisagi is cut short, as Inoue already made some fire on a log by rubbing two sticks of wood furiously together. She turns back to Hisagi, looking smug. Hisagi is at a loose for words.

"Top that Shinigami boy." Inoue said.

* * *

**Shinigami Tribe**

Our other team, which is comprised of goody goodies and a few hero stereotypes, also stare at their equipment laid before them. They have the exact same stuff as the Soul Tribe, and it doesn't take them long to start working together in happy happy joy joy bliss.

"Alright then. Ichigo, see if you can get us some water. Yoruichi, you and Chad work on the flag. Hanataro, Uryu, Renji and I will start work on the shelter. Toshiro, Momo and Rukia will go fishing. Chop Chop." Byakuya clapped his hands, signally everyone to get moving and headed into the trees, with his katana, dragging poor Hanataro along behind him. Uryu and Renji shrugged, but quickly followed their "fearless" leader. Ichigo groaned, grabbed one of the pots, and headed into the woods a few yards away from where Byakuya and the others had entered.

"_Alright then. Ichigo, see if you can get us some water._" Ichigo says in a mockingly Dan Woren accent. "I'll get the damn water, you overgrown G.I. Joe." A great many more mumblings and even a few curses are heard, as Ichigo trudges through the trees and undergrowth.

_**Meanwhile…**_

"I think it should definitely have the Gotei 13 symbol on it." Yoruichi is kneeling in front of the flag cloth, with a white paint brush in her hand. Chad shakes his head.

"Screw you, Yoruichi. Just because you're from Gotei 13 doesn't mean you have to put that retarded Gotei 13 symbol on it." Chad said, rolling his eyes.

"What are you, an art critic now?" Yoruichi smears a little white paint on the flag, which comes out kinda looking like a star.

"Yoruichi, that really sucks."

"Shut up!"

* * *

**Soul Tribe**

"Wow Grimmjow, that looks really good." Urahara is looking over Grimmjow's shoulder, at the tribe's flag.

"Thanks!" Grimmjow smiles, adding a few finishing touches to the flag.

At about that moment, Tosen and Rangiku come stumbling back to camp, covered in dirt, and carrying one of the pots.

"Did you get the water?" Inoue is lounging under a nearby palm tree, while Gin waves a palm leaf over her face.

"Yes, but we lost Soi Fon somewhere along the way.", Rangiku said, brushing dirt off of her clothes.

"I still don't see why Ulquiorra and Hisagi couldn't have gone to get the water!" Tosen is extremely perturbed about the whole situation. He knows that little & wouldn't be in charge right now.

"Because they have to build the shelter." Inoue flips a hand behind her, motioning towards Ulquiorra and Hisagi, who are doing quite a fine job of building what appears to be a tree house.

"I found Soi Fon. She was flirting with some guy down at the water hole." Szayel steps out of the tree line, carrying Soi Fon under one arm, and a bunch of bananas under the other. "Hell, it wasn't even our water hole."

"Just what were you doing?!" Urahara yells, stomping over toward Soi Fon.

"What I do best, spying." Szayel sets Soi Fon on the ground. She smiles at Urahara, and wanders off toward Grimmjow.

* * *

**Later at the Beach…**

"Come on in guys!" Aizen yelled happily. But then he frowns as he looks at his current outfit. He doesn't seem to like it at all but the producers kept insisting him to wear it. It's a white tank top, brown khaki shorts and brown sandals. Now that's totally too plain and horrible, doesn't it? Oh well, at least he is also wearing his trademark white Espada coat with it as well. So it's not all that bad.

Both tribes then enter the beach with Inoue and Byakuya proudly leading their tribes. Grimmjow holds up the Soul Tribe's flag which has a black and white yin-yang symbol on it while Yoruichi, who is frowning unhappily, holds up the Shinigami Tribe's flag which has splotches of white on it and has the word 'Soul' on it with a big red X over it.

"Oh yeah, very original Yoruichi." Aizen said sarcastically. "Okay so anyways, this is the part of the show which I ask you guys about the island. How was the island, Soul Tribe?"

"Oh, simply wonderful." Inoue said smiling. "We got fire and everything."

"Just peachy." Aizen said, looking bored out of her mind. He then turns to the Shinigami Tribe. "What about you guys?"

"Oh yes, we got fire, Toshiro was able to catch some fish for us while Rukia started the fire." Byakuya said, smiling as well. The other members of the Shinigami Tribe secretly said swears about Byakuya to each other from behind while Ichigo clenches his fist and shakes it violently, trying to control himself from wiping Byakuya's smile off his face.

"Whoopee for you. Now your first immunity challenge. The winners will return to camp, safe in the knowledge that no one on their tribe is getting voted off. The losers will go to tribal council, and some poor idiot is going to have the honor of being the first person voted off of Survivor. This ladies and gentlemen, is what makes my job so much fun." Aizen then proceeds to start laughing evilly. After a few minutes, he gains control of himself, and points towards a large platform set about 50 yards out form the beach. "Alright, all you have to do, is swim out there, grab one of the flags, and bring it back to the beach. The first team, to return with three flags is the winner."

"What's the catch?" Ichigo looks suspicious, and with good reason.

"Why would there be a catch?" Aizen asks, trying to look innocent.

"Because you're a psychotic evil villain who enjoys torturing other people and watch other people suffer and bow down to their knees."

Aizen sighed, knowing that his arch enemy is right. "Well the lagoon has been filled with alligators, sharks, crocodiles and a few piranha we imported from South America. Other than that, no big deal." Aizen looks at all the surprised and nervous faces with a sense of evil mirth. Later, when he goes home, he'll spend the rest of the night watching this part of the show over and over. "Now if there are no more questions…GO!!"

And in a silence you could cut with a knife twenty people…just stand on the beach, refusing to take another step.

"Alright then. If you're not gonna go in, I'll just have to torture someone right in front of all of you." And from off screen, an unfortunate prisoner named Yumichika Ayasegawa, who is wrapped with ropes and chains and a gag around his mouth, is shoved into camera range, making the contestants gasp in horror.

"Goodness!" Rukia cried.

"Yumichika!" Rangiku cried in horror.

"Who the heck is he?" Szayel asked stupidly. Hanataro whimpered loudly at the horrifying sight.

"Now go or I'll chop off his legs right in front of you!" Aizen yelled, pointing to the platform.

There are several screams of panic, as the twenty contestants quickly dive into the water.

"See, all it takes is a little motivation." Aizen smiles evilly, and shoves Yumichika back off camera. He's saving him for a later challenge anyway. So he stands there, waiting to see who survives, he amuses himself by listening to the various screaming.

"AHHHHH!!"

"THERE'S SOMETHING ON MY FOOT!!"

"OH THE HUMANTIY!!"

"I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!"

Finally, the tribe members clamor back to shore. The first one back is a rather ravaged looking Urahara. He throws the flag at Aizen and promptly passes out from blood loss. Grimmjow emerges from the water next, carrying the flag, and a great white shark was stuck through his hollow hole at his abdomen.

"That's two for the Soul Tribe." Aizen says, rather disappointed that the screaming has stopped.

Hanataro crawls onto shore, clutching a flag in his left hand, a large crocodile latched onto his leg. Chad is right behind him, trying to pull the flag out of the mouth of an alligator.

"Wow, the teams are tied."

Finally, Byakuya stumbles onto shore with a flag in his hand, and a piranha hanging off of his ear.

"Damn, looks like the Shinigami Team wins. Alright then, collect your missing tribe mates and head back to camp. Soul tribe, I'll see you at tribal council."

"Aren't we supposed to get some immunity dohikie thing for winning the challenge?" Ichigo asks, crawling onto the beach.

"Oh yeah. Now where did that stupid statue thing go?" Aizen looks around, trying to figure out where the immunity totem has gone. A few seconds later an assistant rushes into camera view, and mumbles a few words in his ear. Aizen doesn't look happy, but nods. The assistant rushes back off screen. "It seems they lost the totem thing, and I am supposed to give you my coat. Apparently, it's in the contract I signed." He grumbles a bit, but removes his coat from his body and hands it to Chad.

It takes several hours for the two tribes to retrieve their tribe mates from the float, but they somehow manage to pull it off. The Soul team heads back to camp, already contemplating the tribal council. The Shinigami team also heads back to camp, hoping Yoruichi wakes up soon so that she can treat everyone's injuries.

**END OF CHAPTER**

_Next time on Survivor…_

_Who will be the first to be voted off?_


	3. First Tribal Council

_**Chapter 3: First Tribal Council**_

**At the Soul Camp**

Everyone is extremely nervous about the tribal council. Grimmjow, Szayel and Ulquiorra were busy cooking the shark which Grimmjow brought back with his abdomen. Inoue and Gin were whispering to themselves, and glancing at Tosen. Urahara was whispering with Tosen and glaring at Soi Fon. Soi Fon was busy flirting with Hisagi, and Rangiku was gathering firewood. All of them were, in one way or another, plotting the immanent departure of someone in the tribe.

"Gin, I do believe that we should vote for Rangiku." Inoue said, filing away at her nails.

"Why Rangiku, Inoue? She's a beautiful and caring girl, ya know?" Gin asked.

"That's the reason, Gin! There's only one room for one beautiful and caring girl in this tribe. And that's me!"

"Okay, fine. But I still suggest we should vote for Tosen. Because he is one useless dick."

Then like it always does, the camera mysteriously corners one of the tribe members, to get their thoughts on the situation thus far. The first one they corner is Soi Fon.

**(SOI FON (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"Well all I can say is that Tosen or Urahara have to go. I mean you get rid of one and things will become better around here. I'm pretty sure I have Hisagi on my side, and Grimmjow. Ulquiorra is only a matter of time."_

The camera then switches to Grimmjow. He looks pretty bored, and extremely uninterested in what is going on, probably due to the fact that there are no video games, television, comic books, or anything cool and interesting around this island.

**(GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"I say that Orihime Inoue needs to go. Ever since she became leader, she starts to get into my nerves and make me despise her even more. And yeah, I did had a crush with her when she got captured by Ulquiorra and brought to Hueco Mundo and I brought her with him to revive Ichigo and all, but now, I finally see her true colors. She's now nothing but a pain in the neck. And that wimp Tosen. So what if he is cool and all? He proves pretty darn worthless around here. Besides, his hairstyle and looks are now so last generation. Soi Fon is okay, at least for now, she will serve my purposes."_

The camera then switches back to passive mode, observing our contestants as they try to build lasting alliances. In other words, B.S. their way through the next few hours and try not to be the ones getting voted off. Gin has moved off, to converse with Rangiku and Hisagi. Inoue is busy talking with Ulquiorra. Szayel is talking with Tosen, knowing that they are the two most weakest contestants in the tribe. Soi Fon and Grimmjow appear to be having a worthwhile conversation about the local plant life. Which leaves Urahara to implement his own plan.

"Soi Fon, we need to talk." Urahara said as he sits down next to Grimmjow.

"About what?" Soi Fon asks, a wee bit shocked by this development. "If it's about _not _voting for Tosen, you better save your breath."

"Actually, it is about Tosen. But in all honesty, I was kinda hoping you would vote him off." Urahara smiles, as Soi Fon and Grimmjow sit in stunned silence. Grimmjow recovers first.

"Ok, I was kinda under the impression, that you wouldn't want him voted off. I mean he is your friend after all."

"He's a twit. Whenever we ask him to do something for us, he would bitch, moan and groan about it. And he only cares about himself and doesn't care what's going on in our tribe right now. So how about it Soi Fon, ready to boot one spoiled brat off the island?"

* * *

**At the Tribal Council Area**

Aizen stands in front of the well placed logs, or whatever the tribe is supposed to sit on, gently tapping his foot. He checks his watch for the tenth time, noting that the tribe is ten minutes late. Which isn't helping his mood any. He's still ticked about his wardrobe, and lack of his beloved coat. Apparently his contract also states, he can't wear his trademark coat during the tribal council. I mean who comes up with these stupid rules anyway. Did the idiot who wrote the contract not read his personnel file, which clearly states: _Evil Traitor to the Soul Society, with a perpetual need to wear white, and backstab and hurt innocent people, or hero characters. Must look badass at all times, therefore required to wear his Espada coat at all times to show his pure evilness._ Aizen sighed, as the Soul tribe finally clamored for their seats.

"Everybody grab your torches and light them up." Aizen said. The tribe members obeyed and grab their respective torches and light them up on a nearby campfire. "This is the ritual at tribal council. Fire represents life. Once the fire's out, so are you."

"Duh" Ulquiorra and Grimmjow said together as the tribe members then sit down on their seats once they light up their torches.

Aizen then spoke up with an unnerving not-so-evil smile. "Alright, first tribal council. Before we vote, I have to ask several questions, where each of you will give vague answers, in hopes that your tribe mates won't discover what a bunch of lying, cheating bastards, you all are. First, how is everyone getting along?"

"Oh…ah…just great!" Urahara gives a strained smile, and tries not to make eye contact with Tosen.

"Oh yes, this first tribal council, was sooo difficult." As good an actress as Soi Fon is, the sarcasm is really easy to pick up on.

"I really thought it was difficult, as we've only been on the island for a day. I mean it was kinda hard to decide just who was the biggest idiot yet." Szayel says, twirling a finger in his hair.

"Speaking of idiots, what are your opinions on the Shinigami tribe?" Aizen asked, who smiled a bit as he said the tribe's name.

"Well we really didn't get to see that much of them, but Toshiro isn't such a bad guy." Rangiku says, smiling.

"Most of them are idiots, with the exception of Ichigo and Rukia, who always know what they are doing and what stupid things they shouldn't do in the show." It's the first real comment Ulquiorra Schiffer has made thus far.

"Toshiro is a traitor, Byakuya is an idiot who thinks he's a freaking genius and always good in everything, and umm…that Momo girl isn't too bad." Grimmjow says, smiling devilishly as Momo came into his mind.

"Alright, enough chit chat, time to vote. Urahara, you're first." Aizen yawns, as Urahara walks over to the ballot pot thing. He quickly scribbles out a name, and holds the paper up.

"I'm sorry Tosen, but you are a total moron." Urahara said. He folds the paper in half and stuffs it into the pot. He starts to walk away, but turns back to the camera. "And by the way, you don't look as good as Busta Rhymes at all."

After Urahara got back to his seat, Tosen is next. He scribbles out a name, and holds up the card. "Sorry Ulquiorra, I know you're a good person in the Espada. But still, it's best that you go." He then folds the paper and puts it in the pot.

After Tosen sits down, and it's Szayel's turn. He scribbles out a name, and holds up a card with Soi Fon's name on it. "Sorry Soi Fon, but you are even more annoying than Grimmjow and Ulquiorra and even both of them combined. Sorry girl but even your master Yoruichi can't come here and save you from this one."

Rangiku is up next. She walks up to the pot and scribbles Gin's name on the card. She then holds up the paper. "Sorry Gin. But it's obvious that you have to go. I mean we all simply can't stand your gay personality around here. And my boobs are WAY better looking than yours. So GET OUT."

Slowly, each tribe member walks over to the ballot thing, writes a name, makes a rude comment, stuffs the ballot in the pot, and goes back to their seat. Finally everyone has voted.

"I'll read out the votes." Aizen said and he then walks over and gets the pot. After he grabs the pot, he placed it in front of the tribe and added, "Once the vote is read, the decision is final and the member with the most votes will be eliminated from the tribal council immediately. I warn you no begging or I will be forced to beat the hell out of you." Aizen stops for a moment, as an evil smile spreads across his face. "On second thought, by all means beg, I haven't hit anything for a few hours. Anyway…" Pulls out the first card, and shows it. "Soi Fon"

Soi Fon glares around, her eyes finally falling on Urahara. Urahara shakes his head, making subtle pointing gestures toward Tosen, indicating that's who he voted for. Aizen pulls out the second name.

"Gin" Then mumbles to himself. "Please God let him get voted off tonight so I don't have to see him in any more women's attire."

Gin breaks down crying. Inoue attempts to console him, all the while glaring at various tribe members. Aizen pulls out the third name.

"Ulquiorra"

Despite having his name called, Ulquiorra does nothing but remained calm as usual, sit on his little log, with his arms crossed looking tough. Aizen appears to be getting slightly frustrated at this point. He pulls out a fourth card, and opens it.

"Tosen. Can't you people have even voted for the same person twice!!" Aizen snapped. Then he takes a few deep breaths, and pulls out a fifth card. "Tosen. That's two for Tosen." Pulls a sixth card "Tosen" …seventh… "Tosen"…eighth…"Tosen"…ninth…"Tosen"…and tenth…"First person voted out of Survivor, Kaname Tosen. Please bring your torch up here."

Tosen stands up, attempting to keep his composure, and picks up his torch. He walks over to Aizen. "Tosen, tribe has spoken." Aizen said with a smirk. He then puts his ladle on top of Tosen's torch to put off the fire.

Tosen starts leaving the tribal council by walking down a little ramp. But then he suddenly spins around and said to the people in the council with an evil smile. "VOTE ME OFF WILL YOU!! Just you wait, I will bring get my revenge by bringing chaos to your hometowns!! MWAHAHHAHA!!"

Aizen lifts one eyebrow, but the badass effect is nullified by the lack of his coat, and smacks Tosen up side head. And Tosen goes airborne over the railing. A loud crash is heard a few seconds later, along with the sound of snapping twigs, and high pitched screams of pain. Aizen cracks his knuckles and turns back to the tribe.

"Alrighty then the rest of you, collect your torches and head back to camp." Aizen said with a smile. The remaining tribe members of the Soul Tribe then evacuate the area in under two seconds.

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_A surprise alliance is born…_

_An accident at camp…_

_Yet another demeaning immunity challenge…_

**Who votes who:**

_Urahara: Tosen_

_Tosen: Ulquiorra_

_Szayel: Soi Fon_

_Rangiku: Gin_

_Soi Fon: Tosen_

_Grimmjow: Tosen_

_Ulquiorra: Tosen_

_Inoue: Tosen_

_Hisagi: Tosen_

_Gin: Tosen_


	4. Day 4

_**Chapter 4: Day 4**_

**At the Soul Tribe Camp…**

Despite the fact that one of their tribe mates has been voted off, the mood at camp is downright jolly. In fact Urahara is smiling happily a lot while collecting firewood everyday now since Tosen's departure. Soi Fon and Grimmjow are cementing their alliance while Szayel, Rangiku and Hisagi are laughing about their everyday lives back at Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. Yup, seems that nobody's missing Tosen at all. Meanwhile, Inoue and Ulquiorra are having a discussion.

"And that was how Ichigo, Uryu, Chad and I saved Rukia from execution at Soul Society." Inoue said to Ulquiorra smiling, obviously talking about her days when she and her friends have to save Rukia from getting executed.

"Wow, interesting story there, Inoue. And that's very sweet of Ichigo." Ulquiorra said, smiling back at the Inoue.

"Thanks. You know, you're an interesting person too, Ulquiorra. Not to mention, the day when you captured me and bring me to Hueco Mundo. Ah…Good times."

"Aw…thanks." Ulquiorra said, flattered. As Inoue and Ulquiorra are smiling at each other, the two are unaware that Gin is behind a tree watching them. Gin frowns deeply and clenches his fist tightly as he watches them.

"Ulquiorra…" Gin mumbled angrily. "Inoue is mine! Not yours!"

* * *

**At the Shinigami Tribe Camp**

Byakuya, the 'great' and 'supreme' leader of the tribe, had everyone up at the crack of dawn, to go fishing, firewood gathering, and water fetching. There were many grumbles and whispered obscenities directed toward him because of this. And so, during a brief respite, the camera corners Renji on the beach.

**(RENJI ABARAI (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"Well, as much as I admired Byakuya as my captain and me being his lieutenant at the sixth division, this is getting ridiculous. I mean really, he's running this camp like a freaking boot camp." Renji said as he rolls his eyes. "Something has to be done."_

The camera next corners Rukia.

**(RUKIA KUCHIKI (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"Really this doesn't bother me, I'm used to having my brother Byakuya wanders around like a puffed up rooster."_

The camera then finds Ichigo near the tree line, sharpening a spear.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"I am so close to actually killing Byakuya. You would not believe how close."_

Finally after bothering several more tribe mates the camera returns to passive mode. And I must say, it picks up a rather interesting little scene. Chad has returned from the beach, and has cornered Ichigo in a stand of palm trees.

"Alright, here's the deal you help me get rid of Byakuya and I make sure you make it into the last four." Chad said to Ichigo as he brushes a piece of hair out of his face.

"Wait a minute, why the hell do you want him off the island?" Ichigo asked.

"Because he's a freaking nuisance. _Go get water, go get firewood._ Yeah I understand we have to do this stuff, but damn he's annoying."

"Alright then." Ichigo nods solemnly. "It's a deal."

The camera then picks up another interesting scene. Uryu is laying face down in the sand, by the fire. Hanataro stands over him holding a load of firewood, and looking very guilty.

"What happened?" Momo asked as she runs over to Uryu, and gently rolls him over. He's unconscious, but still breathing.

"I…ah…accidentally hit him with the load of firewood. He asked me something and I turned around to answer him, and sorta hit him in the head."

* * *

**At the Beach**

Aizen is still in his new wardrobe, and fuming over the loss of his sword. However his mood is kinda happy, since it's once again time for an immunity challenge.

"Come on in, guys!" Aizen called as the two tribes march onto the beach. Despite the loss of a tribe member, the Soul tribe seems happy. The Shinigami tribe, on the other hand, looks ready to kill something. Uryu keeps glaring at Hanataro with his new black eye. Ichigo and Chad are whispering among themselves, and glancing at Byakuya. It seems out of all of them only Byakuya is enjoying the situation.

"Alright, Soul Tribe. How are things going at camp?" Aizen asked the tribe.

"Very well actually." Urahara sinkers. "A vast improvement over the other day."

"Greeeaaat." Aizen shakes his head, depressed by how much fun the Soul Tribe appears to be having. "How about you guys?"

"This island sucks." Uryu says sulkily.

"Can I go home now?" Hanataro whimpers.

"No." Aizen then points out a large tent set up in the middle of the beach. "Your next immunity challenge is an endurance challenge. All you have to do is listen to the horrible singing voices of Yuzu and Karin Kurosaki. But just to make things fair, one of the members of the Shinigami tribe has to sit this immunity challenge out."

There is a brief scuffle, at the end of which Ichigo stands the winner. He plops down on the beach happily in the knowledge that he won't suffer from annoying high pitched voices of his two annoying twin sisters. The rest of the tribe shudder. Aizen smiles at this reaction in true evil form.

"The last person able to listen to their insanely high voices wins the immunity for their tribe. Now if you will hand over the immunity totem." Aizen holds out his hand, and Yoruichi gives him his coat. The host seems relived to have it back, and quickly wears it back on. "Alright then, everyone in."

The two tribes enter the tent, no one looks pleased. Aizen pulls up nearby lawn chair, and sits down. He figures the first person will come running out in no less than 2 minutes.

**2 minutes**

Ulquiorra comes staggering out of the tent, holding his head. "For the love of God, they are way more annoying than Luppi!"

Aizen snickers and takes a swig of his soda, he's rather enjoying this. Ichigo too seems to be enjoying the spectacle.

**10 minutes**

Toshiro and Momo stagger out of the tent, looking shell shocked.

**15 minutes**

Gin walks out of the tent, eyes wide and glazed over. "I never knew there were people more annoying than me." He then passes out.

**20 minutes**

Renji and Hisagi come running out of the tent, hands firmly planted over their ears. They then stagger around for a few seconds before passing out near Gin.

**30 minutes**

Uryu emerges from the tent, a lopsided grin on his face. "Tinkerbell!!" He then proceeds to flutter and flit like an idiot. Aizen and Ichigo both inch away from this display.

**45 minutes**

Inoue emerges from the tent, along with a badly singed Grimmjow. They both look at each other and break down in heart wrenching sobs.

**1 hour**

Hanataro comes running out of the tent, rushes past Aizen and Ichigo, and buries his head in the sand.

**1 hour 15 minutes**

Rukia and Yoruichi emerge from the tent at the same time. "Ok, no one can ever complain about my annoyingness again." Rukia sobs.

"Yeah." Yoruichi rubs at her head.

**1 hour 20 minutes**

Szayel staggers out of the tent, dragging an unconscious Rangiku with him. "It was truly horrible, even worse than Nnoitra and Neliel's singing voices!" He promptly faints falling on top of Gin. Aizen and Ichigo are now sharing a soda, and laughing their asses off.

**1 hour 30 minutes**

Soi Fon staggers out of the tent, supporting a thoroughly exhausted Chad. "I thought I could handle it, I mean after…" Chad trails off, his head falling limply to Soi Fon's shoulder.

"It's alright Chad. I thought the same thing." Soi Fon said exhaustedly.

"Guess that leaves Byakuya and Urahara." Aizen is so enjoying the mere thought of the pain and suffering Byakuya must be going through. Ichigo secretly shares this sentiment.

**2 hours**

Byakuya comes skipping out of the tent. "I AM SAILOR MOON!!" Aizen, Ichigo, any other survivors cover their eyes as Byakuya dons a Sailor Moon costume and skips off through the trees.

"Ok, that was worser than Gin's bikini." Ichigo shudders, knowing he has to go back to camp with that thing.

"I guess that leaves Urahara the winner." Aizen pushes himself out of the chair, as Urahara emerges from the tent, looking no worse off then when he went in. No one has realized yet Urahara covered his ears and head with his hat and that was why he couldn't hear the high pitched singing voices of Yuzu and Karin. Aizen then hands over his coat to Urahara.

"Alright, Shinigami Tribe. I'll see you at tribal council." Aizen said as he then moves off screen, hoping to avoid Byakuya and his sailor moon costume.

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be voted off?_


	5. Second Tribal Council

_**Chapter 5: Second Tribal Council**_

**At the Shinigami Tribe Camp**

The effects of listening to Yuzu and Karin, seems to be wearing off. Uryu isn't flitting about anymore, although Byakuya does have this urge to run around with a stick and scream _MOON PRISM POWER MAKE-UP! _Most everyone is trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

"This could be our chance, Chad." Ichigo glances towards Byakuya. "But, we're gonna need some help."

"Alright, you work on the boys I'll take care of the girls." Chad said. Ichigo and Chad move off, to spread the word about Byakuya. In the meantime our camera operator manages to corner several tribe members.

**(URYU ISHIDA (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"I'm not sure who to vote for." Uryu shrugs. "I mean Byakuya is really annoying, but Hanataro really wants to go off of this island."_

**(HINAMORI MOMO (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"Well Byakuya really isn't so bad." Momo looks around, then leans in toward the camera. "That Uryu fellow though, I'd kinda like to see him leave."_

**(HANATARO YAMADA (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"I wonder if I can vote for myself?" Hanataro then wanders off to see if he can find anyone that would vote him off tonight._

The camera then returns to passive mode, and picks up on a nice little scene of Byakuya and Rukia. Aw, sibling love. Currently, the two siblings are sitting together, leaning on a palm tree with Rukia resting her head on Byakuya's shoulder.

"Rukia, promise me you will vote for Uryu tonight. That guy is the cause for our loss today." Byakuya said.

Rukia smiled at Byakuya and said, "Don't worry brother, I will. What are brothers and sisters for?"

"Thanks." Byakuya then rests his head on Rukia's head while Rukia closed her eyes passionately. Unaware to Rukia, Byakuya smirks and thought, _'Great! Now there's no way Rukia's gonna vote me off tonight.'_

And unaware to Byakuya, Rukia smirks as she thought, _'My God, I didn't know my brother could be such a sucker.'_

* * *

**The Tribal Council**

Aizen was overjoyed to see the Shinigami tribe making their way to the tribal council area. This was perhaps the best part of his job, not to mention he adored torturing "good guys" whenever possible. The Shinigami Tribe quickly took their seats.

"Well now, how is everyone getting along?" Aizen smiles, already seeing the angst crossing the faces of the survivors.

"Oh just peachy." Renji said sarcastically, and his sarcasm does not go unnoticed.

"Well I think we got off to a rocky start, but things seem to be going well." Toshiro said. You know, this is probably the very first sentence Toshiro Hitsugaya said ever since he got onto this island. Secretly, he knows that the author seem to have forgotten about him.

"Well then, it's time to vote. Byakuya, you're up first." Aizen smirked.

Byakuya walks over to the pot, and quickly scribbles out a name. He then holds up the card.

"Go home Uryu. Plus you got a bad hair too."

Uryu is next. He scribbles out a name, and holds up the card.

"Go home Byakuya, we don't want you telling us what to do around here."

Hanataro is next. He scribbles out a name, and holds up the card.

"I just wanna go home."

Ichigo is next. He scribbles out a name, and holds up the card.

"Byakuya, I don't care if you are like the coolest and likeable character in this damn show. All I care is this." He leans toward the camera. "Get your freaking ass and your sailor moon outfit out of here!"

Soon everyone has written down a name, and dropped it into the pot.

"I'll read out the votes." Aizen said as he smiles evilly. He walks over to the pot, collects it and places it in front of the tribe. "Once the vote is read, the decision is final, the one with the most votes, get ready to come over here and have your torch extinguish and get out of here. I'll read the votes." Aizen then picks up and reads out the cards.

"Uryu…Byakuya…Hanataro…Byakuya…Byakuya…Byakuya…Byakuya…Byakuya…Byakuya…Byakuya."

Byakuya stares dumbfound. He knows he voted for Uryu, and Hanataro must have voted for himself. Which could only mean…

"Rukia, my little cupcake, why?!"

Rukia groans, shaking her head. "Byakuya please, just go."

"But my little snookers!"

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THE REDICIULAS NAMES??" Rukia scrambles to her feet, breathing heavily. "I'm sick and tired of you calling me that!!"

"Time to go home, Byakuya." Aizen said, smirking. Byakuya whimpers, then stands up with his torch and stands in front of Aizen. "Byakuya, tribe has spoken." He extinguishes Byakuya's torch with his ladle. "Now it's time to get out of here." Aizen then grabs Byakuya by the collar and throws him out of the tribal council.

Byakuya then goes flying over the railing into a stand of trees, in fact, he doesn't land too far away from Tosen. Apparently, the crew of the show hasn't gotten around to pulling him out yet. Aizen then turns back to the Shinigami Tribe.

"Alright then, head back to camp."

The Shinigami Tribe wastes no time running for their lives.

_**Next Time on Survivor...**_

_Romance is in the air..._

_Yet another immunity challenge..._

_A not so surprising alliance..._

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Byakuya: Uryu_

_Uryu: Byakuya_

_Hanataro: Hanataro_

_Ichigo: Byakuya_

_Rukia: Byakuya_

_Yoruichi: Byakuya_

_Chad: Byakuya_

_Toshiro: Byakuya_

_Momo: Byakuya_

_Renji: Byakuya_


	6. Day 5

_**Chapter 6: Day 5**_

**At the Shinigami Camp **

Everyone trudges back to camp. Though a bit surprised by Byakuya's outburst, no one is surprised by Aizen's handling of the situation. But overall, nobody is really disappointed that their leader is gone. Hell, even Renji is smiling happily, glad that his captain is eliminated.

"I wonder what kind of horrible immunity challenge we're gonna be put through tomorrow?" Momo asks, while trying to cook a fish.

"Who knows, with that twisted & evil egomaniac running the show." Toshiro proceeds to help her.

"I'm going to bed." Uryu wanders over to his tent. He is shortly joined by Chad.

"Boy, that didn't take long." Yoruichi sighs. "That's one alliance that isn't very surprising."

* * *

**Soul Camp**

**The Next morning…**

Inoue stretches slightly, and looks around. Everyone except Ulquiorra is asleep. She saunters over.

"What ya up to?"

Ulquiorra holds up what appears to be a large bottle-nose dolphin, and points toward the fire.

"Fired dolphin…a traditional delicacy in Hueco Mundo."

"Oh yummy!" She then proceeds to giggle like a blonde bimbo. Ulquiorra finds this attractive…

* * *

**On the Beach**

"Come on in guys!" Aizen yelled as he taps his foot lightly, already grinning at the thought of the Immunity challenge to come. He rubs his hands together, anticipating the mayhem and carnage to come, though he is slightly depressed that one of the heroes of the Shinigami Tribe got booted off the island. Oh well, at least his arch enemy Ichigo is still in the competition so now he leaning towards him, though he also thought that Toshiro and Rukia are good targets to torture too. Hanataro however, he knows that he's a complete wuss so if he tortures him, it wouldn't make the torture really that fun at all. He was inventing various new tortures to try on Ichigo, Rukia and/or Toshiro, when the two tribes walked onto the beach.

"Good morning everyone!" Aizen once more tried to be chipper and perky, despite the fact that he was failing miserably at it.

The Soul tribe looked to be in good spirits, if somewhat confused by the Shinigami team lack of Byakuya. Inoue was the first to voice her opinion.

"Wow, they got rid of Captain Kuchiki." she whispered to Ulquiorra, whose arm she was currently hanging off of, making Gin looked more annoyed.

"I figured they'd have booted Hanataro off." Hisagi commented.

"Maybe they want him around for comic relief, like me." Urahara shrugged as the rest of his tribe mates stared at him.

"Alrighty then." Aizen clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention. "Time for another lovely immunity challenge!"

There was a universal groan, followed by several whispered obscenities, and a loud whimper from Hanataro. Despite his earlier thoughts, Aizen did indeed enjoy the small wounded animal sounds Hanataro was making. Finally, after relishing in the horror of our contestants, Aizen unveiled the next immunity challenge.

"This next challenge is quite easy. In fact it's like a game of tag!" Aizen said. "All you have to do is to stay away from the chickens and don't let the chickens tag you. The last remaining contestant that doesn't get tagged by the chickens wins for his or her tribe! By the way, hand over the immunity totem."

Ulquiorra handed Aizen his white Espada coat, which looked to be a bit dirty and there are minor mud stains on it. Aizen growled, but decided against violence. Mostly because he thought Ulquiorra is capable of kicking his ass. Instead he walked over to a cage and pulled off the tarp. Inside were 18 mindless and hungry white creatures...

"Those are not chickens, they are Hollows!!" Rukia screamed.

"Indeed they are. Oh, and one more thing, do not attack or injured the Hollows while playing." Aizen grinned evilly, and flipped open the door. "Have fun!!"

Every tribe member looked at each other. Each one of them were thinking the same thing…_How badly do we really want that immunity?_ Then the idea of a million dollars floated over their minds, and they went to work.

Yoruichi runs as fast as she can, but she accidentally tripped over a rock, allowing a Hollow to jump onto her back. "Crap." Yoruichi groan.

"Ulqiorra, you're out." Aizen said from his lawn chair. "Breaking your Hollow in half was not part of the game."

Ulquiorra trudged off the beach and sat down next to a palm tree, looking a bit saddened. The remaining contestants continue running around the beach like maniacs while trying their best not to get tag by the Hollows.

Ichigo and Uryu accidentally bumped into each other, causing them to fall onto the ground and allow two Hollows to tag them. Aizen laughed his ass off, extremely happy to see Ichigo getting eliminated.

"This is all your fault, Uryu!" Ichigo yelled as he sits up from the ground.

"My fault?! You were the one who isn't watching your way while running!" Uryu yelled back as he sits up as well.

15 more minutes later, the Hollows have tag Inoue, Grimmjow, Hanataro, Urahara, Hisagi, Rangiku, Momo, Toshiro, Chad, Szayel, Gin and Rukia. Which means the only two left are Soi Fon and Renji. Soi Fon is trying her best to run as fast as she can from her Hollow while Renji quickly jumped onto a tree and hang onto a branch while his Hollow tries to tag him from below. However, the branch broke, causing Renji to fall from the tree and his Hollow tags him.

"Ah hell." Renji groaned.

"Oh well, the game is over. Team Soul wins." Aizen stood up, and handed Soi Fon his coat. "Shinigami Tribe, I'll see you again at tribal council."

The Shinigami Tribe groans, but quickly regroups and heads back to camp. The Soul tribe skips merrily away.

_**Next Time on Survivor….**_

_Who will be voted off?_

* * *

Meanwhile, in the nearby treeline, we find our former contestants having a bit of a problem. Apparently, the show's executives decided it might be fun to simply leave them out there.

"Um…somebody…there's a Hollow trying to eat my foot!" Byakuya yelled as he and Tosen both huddle together as several Hollows try to eat them.

"I hate this show." Tosen mumbled.


	7. Third Tribal Council

_**Chapter 7: Third Tribal Council**_

**Shinigami Tribe Camp**

You could cut the tension with a knife. Chad and Ichigo have moved off by themselves to discuss their plans. Uryu is over by Toshiro, hoping to form an Alliance. Toshiro and Momo are attempting to stick together. Mostly because they have been ignored through most of the fan fic, and hopes that their alliance will keep them staying in the competition.

"Ichigo, we need to get rid of Uryu." Chad glances around, hoping no one is listening.

"Damn you Chad, you are one cold hearted man. First Byakuya now our best friend?"

"Uryu is cool and all, but waaaay too naive."

The camera then corners several tribe members. I mean really it should be obvious that was what it was gonna do. The first one they find is Rukia.

**(RUKIA KUCHIKI (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"I'm just not sure how this vote is going to go. I suppose Hanataro will probably vote for himself again. I seriously suspect that Chad is plotting to get rid of Uryu. I mean after what she did to Byakuya, it's pretty obvious."_

The camera then corners Toshiro.

**(TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"Well I suppose I'll have to vote for Uryu. He's just annoying."_

The camera finally finds Renji.

**(RENJI ABARAI (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"Well Toshiro has to go, all he does is bitch all the time. That and he's pretty useless. Sorry Toshiro my friend, you're just not doing your job around here."_

The camera returns to passive mode. Yoruichi and Uryu are in a heated conversation.

"He's gonna vote me off, I know it!" Uryu looks quite worried, and with good reason.

"Why do you say that?" Yoruichi already knows the answer to that. I mean she isn't blind, or stupid.

"Because he's a twisted little leprechaun! I mean he already stabbed Byakuya in the back!!"

Several heads turn toward Uryu as a result of this outburst. He promptly scuttles away, probably to cry or something.

* * *

**Tribal Council**

Aizen tapped his foot lightly as 9 ragged and somewhat depressed tribe members enter the tribal council area. He smiled evilly, he just loved this part of his job.

"Alright, how are things going?" Like he really gave a damn, but he had to ask. It was in his contract.

"Oh just wonderful." Chad said brightly.

"Yea." Uryu said, trying to sound chipper and failing.

"Do you think the decisions for who should be voted off is getting harder?" Aizen asked this with an evil gleam in his eye.

"Not really." Chad said, thinking. Uryu whimpered slightly at this news. Toshiro and Momo looked at each other, looking depressed. Hanataro was praying that somehow someone would vote him off.

"Alright then, time to ruin the hope of some person on the island." Aizen pointed toward the infamous pot. "Off you go Chad."

Chad walks over to the pot, quickly scribbles down a name, and holds up the card. "Sorry Uryu. I mean you're nice and all, but I really need Ichigo to help me win the million dollars. Plus well you're not quite as evil as he is."

Yoruichi is next. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card. "Um Renji, I'm sorry, but ever since Byakuya left you've been hitting on me and it's getting on my nerves."

Rukia next writes down a name. "Sorry Momo, but you are kinda unimportant."

Renji is next. "Well, Toshiro, you are pretty worthless."

In turn each tribe member writes down a name and puts it in the pot.

"Alright, I'll go tally the votes." Aizen then walks off, grabs the pot, smiling evilly and placed the pot in front of the contestants. He then proceeds to pull out the cards. "Once the poor unfortunate contestant is discovered they will bring me their torch." first card… "Uryu." …second… "Renji" …third… "Toshiro" …fourth… "Momo"

Aizen is now slightly perturbed. It seems that the Shinigami Tribe is as indecisive as the Soul Tribe.

Fifth… "Renji"… sixth "Uryu. That's two for Uryu, two for Renji." seventh… "Uryu" …eighth… "Uryu" … ninth… "Third person voted out of Survivor, Uryu Ishida."

Uryu whimpers slightly and picks up his torch. Hanataro and Renji look sympathetic, while Chad is trying not to look at him.

"Uryu, tribe has spoken." Aizen says evilly. He then puts off the fire on Uryu's torch with his ladle. He then grabs Uryu by his Quincy uniform, and tosses him over the railing. There is a loud crashing sound, then some cursing which is followed by several whimpers and what sounds like fighting.

* * *

"It's you!!" Byakuya yelled, grabbing Uryu by the throat.

"It's not my fault, he talked me into it!!" Uryu gagged. Tosen merely sat by and watched.

* * *

"But Uryu didn't do anything to warrant getting thrown over the railing." Rukia said looking confused.

"New addition to the show." Aizen shrugged. "I'm evil, it's what I do."

The Shinigami Tribe then scurries off to the safety of their camp.

_**Next Time On Survivor…**_

_Another evil immunity challenge…_

_Alliances shift…_

_**Who votes who:**_

_Chad: Uryu_

_Yoruichi: Renji_

_Rukia: Momo_

_Renji: Toshiro_

_Uryu: Renji_

_Hanataro: Uryu_

_Ichigo: Uryu_

_Toshiro: Uryu_

_Momo: Uryu_


	8. Day 7

_**Chapter 8: Day 7**_

**Shinigami Tribe **

Our poor contestants return to camp, each one thinking very deeply about the tribal council. A total of three people have been eliminated, two from their tribe. Each of them now realizes two things. One, they have to win the next immunity challenge. Two, Chad is a total and complete son-of-a-bitch.

And once more our intrepid camera man corners one of the contestants. This seems to happen a lot.

**(TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"Well, really there was no doubt in my mind that Uryu would be gone." Toshiro shakes his head. "Though Chad turning on him like that, well that was just wrong."_

Next it corners Chad…

**(YASUTORA 'CHAD' SADO (SHINIGAMI TRIBE))**

_"I'm sorry, but I need those million dollars, and I don't care how I get it! I'm sick and tired of being the least popular character in the anime and I'm sick and tired of not many fans putting me in their Bleach fanfics! When I win those one million dollars, everybody will have to respect me as the greatest Bleach character of all time and from now on, I'll be respected by every Bleach fan in the universe!!" Chad then stands up and leaves in a huff, leaving the cameraman (and the viewers at home) completely shocked and dumbfounded._

Returning to passive mode, we find Yoruichi and Renji having a discussion.

"Look Yoruichi, I'm sorry for hitting on you all the time. But we need an alliance." Renji looks around, then starts whispering. "Chad is a frigging psycho. I mean he already got rid of Byakuya and Uryu!"

Yoruichi ponders this for a moment then decides, she might as well take a chance.

"Very well."

* * *

**The Next Morning…**

**Soul Tribe**

Gin awakens early, and goes in search of Rangiku. He finds her getting water.

"Rangiku, I have a proposition for you." He looks around then hunkers down next to her. "I want an alliance with you."

Rangiku is shocked to say the least. "I thought you were with Inoue and Ulquiorra?"

"Ulquiorra…" Gin growls, actually sounding masculine for once. "He's leading my precious Orihime astray! She doesn't even pay attention to me anymore!! You have no alliances. If you want to survive, stick with me."

"Alright then Gin, we have a deal." Rangiku said. Then she and Gin shake hands, and head back to camp.

Unknown to them, Soi Fon has overheard everything. She smiles then skips back to camp humming happily to herself.

* * *

**On The Beach**

Aizen is feeling particularly happy about this new immunity challenge. Although he is a bit depressed that he has lost both Byakuya and Uryu. But he can still torture Ichigo, Rukia and Toshiro and that is indeed a good thing. Of course being a sadistic bastard in any way, shape, or form is always a good thing for our host.

He glances at his watch and finally smiles as the two tribes walk onto the beach. The Shinigami tribe, with the exception of Chad and Ichigo, looked depressed. The mere thought of the mental torture they must be going through sends Aizen into a fit of evil laughter.

"Momo, have you been giving him drugs again?" Chad asks, turning to Momo.

"No way. Not at all." Momo shakes her head.

"I think he's just being his normal evil self." Yoruichi commented, giving her ex-ally a rather harsh look.

On the other side of the beach the Soul Tribe is voicing its own opinion of the condition of the host.

"I used to think Gin was strange, but Aizen proved me wrong." Grimmjow says, eying Aizen closely.

"Imagine _you_ thinking Gin is strange." Szayel rolls his eyes. "That's like the pot calling the kettle black."

Perhaps sensing that the two tribes and the viewing audience were staring at him, Aizen quickly got control of himself and cleared his throat.

"Now then time for yet another immunity challenge!" He smiles, holding his hand out for his coat which Hisagi hands him.

"Don't' you mean yet another chance for you to maim, mangle, or perhaps even kill us?!" Renji yelled.

"Don't forget that it's all legal, and there is nothing you guys can do in retaliation."

There were several grumbles and at least one whispered comment about hiring a hit man, but no one came forward to disagree.

"So what is it this time, Hollow wrestling?" Urahara asked, looking rather pissed and board at the same time.

"No, but that is a good idea."

Aizen quickly jotted down a few notes while Urahara was beaten repeatedly by several of his tribe mates. After reducing him to a pile of unconscious-bleeding-Mr. Hat-and-clogs, the tribe seemed to feel a bit better. Aizen looked over the carnage and smiled. Mindless violence was a great thing, even if he wasn't the one performing it.

"Well than since Urahara is currently unconscious, and more than likely close to death, he doesn't have to participate in the following exercise. Follow me."

Aizen lead his victims down the beach stopping them in front of eight palm trees. He gestured to the trees and smiled evilly. Several members of the Shinigami Tribe shuddered at the expression, and Hanataro went so far as to actually faint.

"Now then, in the trees above you will find a basket. Inside the basket are two cute little puppies. You will be split up into partners. One partner will climb the tree and drop the puppies to the partner on the ground. The partner on the ground has to catch the puppies and take them to the baskets over there."

Aizen points to eight baskets roughly ten yards away from the base of the palm trees.

"The first tribe to make two sets of puppies, a total of four puppies, to the baskets wins. That means that two sets of partners have to get all their puppies to the baskets. Is that understood?"

There are several nods of agreement. Aizen smiles again, more evilly than the first time. Hanataro breaks down crying.

"Just to make things interesting, you will be choosing your partners out of this jar."

Aizen holds up a jar, very similar to the infamous voting jar, except this one says _Sosuke Aizen for Supreme World Leader_ on the side. There are several strange and utterly confused looks running across the faces of our contestants at the sight of this message.

"Now, you will come up one at a time in the following order. Yoruichi, Rukia, Toshiro, Chad."

Each of the tribe members trudge up to the jar, like condemned prisoners, grab a slip of paper and head back to the rest of their tribe mates. Aizen then drops four new slips of paper into the jar, and turns to the Soul Tribe.

"Rangiku, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Soi Fon."

Like the other contestants they walk up, grab a slip and walk back. Aizen puts the jar down, and motions for them to open the papers. Each contestant does. Then after a 2 second lag, there are multiple groans, some obscenities, and what sounds like crying.

"Ok, everyone grab your partner and take a tree."

There is more grumbling and more obscenities expressed. Including the comment that the host is a Treacherous Bastard, deserving a painful death. Aizen glared around, but had no luck in finding the person responsible for the comment. A few minutes later and the partners are arranged under their respective trees.

"Alright then…GO!!"

Aizen pulled up a chair, grabbed a case of Mountain Dew cans, and prepared for the fun that would follow. Our eight partners look at each other, and several arguments are heard.

"Ichigo, you're stronger than me!" Rukia yells

"Szayel, I am not climbing up the tree! It will be uncomfortable for my breasts!" Rangiku screams, crossing her arms.

"Toshiro, I don't like this arrangement anymore than you." Renji snapped.

"Fine Hanataro, I'll climb the damn tree!" Chad says in exasperation.

"I'm climbing up the tree now, Inoue!" Ulquiorra said to Inoue, waving his arms.

"Move your ass faster, Grimmjow!" Hisagi yelled as Grimmjow grabs a hold of the tree.

"Momo, are you going to do anything on this show?" Yoruichi moans, trying to climb the tree.

"You know Gin, for a guy, you are quite girly." Soi Fon mumbles, trying to shimmy up the tree.

Aizen is watching this, and laughing his ass off. In the meantime, Urahara has awoken and found his way over. He sits down on the beach, removes his green and white striped hat and flips a piece of blonde hair out of his face. Aizen glances over, admiring the view. Sure Urahara is a male, but quite a nice looking male.

Meanwhile, Ichigo had managed to climb up the tree and get to the basket. He looked in and his almost cheerful mood fell two degrees.

"These are **(BEEP)**ing Hollows!!"

As each partner looked in the basket, they all discovered that Ichigo was indeed correct. The puppies…were Hollow puppies. Aizen drew his attention away from Urahara long enough to crack open a fresh can of Mountain Dew and laugh at the contestants.

Hanataro was running around in circles with one of the Hollow puppies attached to his head, and one chewing on his robe leg, while Chad screamed at him to run to the basket.

Yoruichi was yelling at Momo to grab the puppy, while she too was running in circles and screaming.

Both Ulquiorra and Szayel had inadvertently killed their allotted puppies. Rangiku was throwing coconuts at Szayel and calling him an imbecile, while Inoue stood under the other tree filing her nails.

Renji had tossed down the whole basket, which Toshiro had failed to catch. He was now trying to chase down their allotted two puppies, which had taken it in their heads to chase down Hanataro.

Soi Fon had somehow managed to drop both puppies to Gin, who had somehow managed to drag both puppies to a basket.

Ichigo seized this opportunity to drop the basket to Rukia, who caught it easily and dumped both puppies, at the same time, into the basket.

Hanataro finally managed to fall into one of the baskets, thus completing his assigned task of getting two puppies into a basket.

Hisagi had at this point shimmied down the tree and was beating Grimmjow in the head with a stick, because Grimmjow had accidentally killed both their puppies by grabbing their bodies too tightly.

"Alright, all done, Shinigami wins." Aizen said, pulling himself out of the lawn chair, to hand over the coat to Chad. "Soul, see you at the Tribal Council."

Both teams leave the area as soon as possible.

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who is the next one getting tossed over the railing??_

* * *

Meanwhile…

"Are those Hollow puppies?" Uryu asked, glancing down beneath the tree.

"Looks like it." Tosen muttered, looking rather gloomy.

"Think they're safe to eat?" Byakuya asked eyeing the dogs hungrily. "I'm getting sick of bananas."

Both Uryu and Tosen stared at him strangely, then slowly inched away…


	9. Fourth Tribal Council

Ryo: Oh God, I can't believe I'm having MAJOR writer's block with 3942 right now. I don't know how to go on. So I decided to continue this story for a while. Anyways, I've also edited the previous chapters after I found out that I wrote the members of the Shinigami Tribe are in the Soul Tribe during their interviews.

_**Chapter 9: Fourth Tribal Council**_

**Soul Tribe**

Soi Fon and Grimmjow are sitting around the campfire, whispering to themselves.

"So we double cross him?" Grimmjow looks a bit, shall we say…excited.

"We do indeed. He's dead wood and really is kinda worthless."

Down near the beach Inoue and Ulquiorra appear to be in a heated argument. Rangiku and Gin had snuck off to the watering hole and were having their own discussion. Urahara, Hisagi and Szayel are sitting in the palm trees drinking a few cans of Mountain Dew, which Urahara stole from Aizen.

And once again it's that part of the show where our intrepid cameraman corners a survivor and they bitch, moan, and groan about the island, the other survivors, and anything else that might come to mind.

**(SOI FON (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"Well I hate to do it, but old Hisagi just hasn't been a whole lot of help these last couple days." Soi Fon twiddles with her hair. "I mean I feel bad about it, I really do."_

**(ORIHIME INOUE (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"Well, I love Gin but he is now turning into such a jealous twit." Inoue sighs, rolling her eyes. "I mean, so I was making out with Ulquiorra really none of his business. He shouldn't get so jealous over it."_

There is a bit of confusion as the cameraman stumbles into the trees and throws up. After a brief commercial break, the cameraman returns and corners another contestant.

**(KISUKE URAHARA (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"Well I must say that Soi Fon is getting on my nerves." Urahara brushes a bit of blonde hair out of his face. "Sneaking around like that all the time….the little trollop."_

* * *

**Tribal Council**

Aizen leaned back against the railing, humming to himself. As was stated before this was one of his favorite parts of the job. Crushing the hopes of some unlucky contestant, shattering their dreams. The whole idea made him shudder with delight. So when the tribe members showed up, Aizen was actually wearing a genuine smile.

"Alrighty then! Was this vote a tough one?"

There were several echoes of "Not Really" and "I don't suppose so." This seems to displease our host, making him lose his warm and fuzzy feeling he'd had only seconds ago. He was hoping for confusion, anger, maybe even a tiny display of despair…instead he gets a lifeless bunch of replies from some brain dead Arrancars and Shinigamis.

"Ah well, it'll have to do." Aizen mumbles to himself. "Alright, time to vote. Soi Fon you're up."

Soi Fon saunters over to the voting jar, and quickly scribbles out a name. "Hisagi, your services are no longer required." She smiles and walks away.

Ulquiorra is next. He holds up a card, with a rather elegantly written name on it. He then clears his throat and starts speaking in a rather sophisticated English accent. And no, it's not the Steven Jay Blum accent which he had in the Bleach: Shattered Blade game. "Urahara, your weirdness is a threat to my lovely Orihime Inoue. I'm afraid you must depart the island."

This display causes the cameraman to glance into his coke can, and promptly faint. After a short commercial break, we return to find Inoue scribbling out a name.

"Gin, you need to be less jealous. Sorry about this." Inoue then folds up the card and stuffs it into the jar.

Gin is next. "Ulquiorra you are moving in on my territory…I CANNOT ALLOW THAT YOU GIANT BIO-GENETIC FREAK OF NATURE….INOUE IS MINE! MINE…MINE…MINE…MINE…"

This rant goes on for at least another five minutes. During which Gin is completely oblivious to the fact that everyone can hear him screaming at the top of his lungs, including our former contestants in the tree…

* * *

"Sounds like Gin is having a bad day." Uryu yawned, leaning back on his branch.

"I hope that twisted psycho doesn't wind up down here." Tosen shudders a bit.

"Yeah, me too." Byakuya said, shuddering as well.

* * *

Back at our tribal council, things have settled down a bit, and it is now time for Aizen to count the votes. "I'll read out the votes." He said. He walks to the pot, grabs it and places it in front of the Soul Tribe.

"When the final vote is read, the person voted off will present their torch and prepare to be thrown over the railing." At this piece of news, he smirks evilly, and pulls out the first vote. "Gin"…second… "Gin" …third… "Soi Fon" …forth… "Hisagi" …fifth… "Hisagi" …sixth… "Urahara" …seventh… "Grimmjow" …eighth… "Ulquiorra" …ninth… "Inoue"

There is an audible gasp as everyone realizes that Gin and Hisagi are tied to be kicked off the island. However there is an even bigger gasp as Aizen pulls yet another vote out of the jar…

Tenth… "Gin" …eleventh… "Gin" …twelfth… "Soi Fon" …thirteenth… "Hisagi" …fourteenth… "Inoue" …fifteenth… "Inoue" …sixteenth… "Inoue" …seventieth… "Soi Fon" …eighteenth… "Hisagi" …nineteenth… "Hisagi"

Now everyone stares at each other, as they realize that everyone has voted twice, and someone has voted three times. Aizen quickly counts through the votes…again.

"Alright, Shuhei Hisagi you are the forth person voted out off Survivor, please step forward." Aizen said, now smiling evilly again. Hisagi stomps forward mumbling obscenities, luckily the censor was quick on the button to beep out the nasty language. "Hisagi, tribe has spoken." Aizen puts out the torch with his ladle and reached for Hisagi.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!" Hisagi then pulled a can of hairspray and a Zippo lighter. "I'll use it…I SWEAR!!"

Now this appeared to frighten Aizen for all of about…3 seconds. He then leaped straight in the air crashing through at least three trees, and landed behind Hisagi grabbing him by the back of the shirt.

"Good try, give you credit for that." Aizen then threw him over the railing. "Bye!"

* * *

Several minutes of crashing sounds later, and Hisagi landed in the tree with everyone else. He shook his head and stared at the former contestants.

"For future reference, Aizen's weakness is _**not**_ fire." Hisagi said to himself.

"Really?" Uryu scooted over, giving Hisagi some room.

"Yea."

"Hmm…that's interesting." Tosen produces a notebook and starts scribbling.

"I wonder what his weakness is then?" Byakuya ponders…

* * *

Aizen turned around, smiling wickedly. The Soul Tribe all looked at each other then scattered into the trees like a group of New York cockroaches after a light comes on…

**Next Time on Survivor…**

_A family and friend visit…_

_Another time consuming and torturous immunity challenge…_

**Who votes who:**

_Inoue: Gin/ Gin_

_Rangiku: Hisagi/ Inoue_

_Urahara: Soi Fon/ Soi Fon_

_Soi Fon: Hisagi/ Gin_

_Grimmjow: Hisagi/ Inoue_

_Ulquiorra: Urahara/ Gin_

_Gin: Ulquiorra/ Hisagi/ Hisagi_

_Hisagi: Inoue/ Soi Fon_

_Szayel: Inoue/ Grimmjow_

Ryo: Oh God, what a twist huh? Read and review!


	10. Day 9 or 10 or maybe 12

_**Chapter 10: Day 9 or 10…Hmm…who knows? Maybe even Day 12…**_

**Soul Tribe**

The Soul Tribe returns to camp after the tribal meeting, and I must say no one seems to be missing Hisagi a whole lot. In fact I'm pretty sure a couple people haven't even noticed he's gone.

"Well, that was certainly different. Who knew that everyone would vote twice?" Soi Fon carefully stoked the fire.

"Indeed." Grimmjow grunted, attempting to skin a fish. "Someone voted three times too."

"I think that might have been Gin, but I can't be sure."

* * *

**On The Beach**

Aizen looked over the script, and moaned. It was time for one of those warm fuzzy moments the show is so fond of having. The show was flying in the Survivor's family or friends. The mere thought of the sickeningly sweet reunions, was enough to make him wanna hurl. But hey, he was getting paid and he'd signed a contract, so there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it.

He plastered a rather mocking smile on his face as the survivors made their way onto the beach. He was not surprised by how happy the Soul Tribe looked. He seriously doubted that any of them missed Hisagi too much.

"Well, how is everything going?" Not that he cared, but he had to ask.

"Oh just wonderful!!" Inoue was smiling up at Ulquiorra, while Gin stared at Ulquiorra with a look of hate and contempt.

"Can I go home now?" Hanataro was still whining…big surprise.

"No." Aizen looked over his clipboard, before speaking again. "Alright folks, we have a special surprise for you today…"

A long string of obscenities, from Ichigo, interrupt our host. Along with several sobs from Toshiro and Momo. At least two very mangled Greek curses, from Szayel and Grimmjow. Inoue is attempting to hold Ulquiorra back. Soi Fon and Urahara are conspiring to kill Aizen. Chad and Yoruichi are trying to sneak away. Rukia is trying to find a weapon. Renji is simply trying not to have a nervous breakdown. Last, but not least, Hanataro has fainted. Aizen clears his throat, and when that doesn't get everyone's attention he lobs his clipboard at Renji, knocking him unconscious.

"Now then, if you will pay attention for one minute." Aizen retrieves his clipboard, and gives Renji a kick for good measure. "The producers of the show, have decided to fly in one member of everyone's family, or a friend. So here they are. First, we have Renji's brother…Kyo Abarai!!"

A tall, handsome looking man with short red hair, and wearing black Shinigami robes steps out of the tree line. He winks at Inoue as he walks towards the Shinigami tribe, and even gives ole Soi Fon an appraising glance. However, instead of stopping at his fallen brother, he simply steps over Renji's prone body and saunters over to Rukia.

"Hey baby…wanna come take a look at the palm trees with me?" His hundred kilowatt smile is bright enough that a blind man could see it.

"Oh God…another one." Rukia is seriously considering suicide at this point.

"Pretty boys as far as the eye can see." Aizen sighs, and consults his list again. "From all the way across the ocean, Orihime Inoue's brother….Sora Inoue!"

A boy with black hair and wears a black suit and black pants enters the scene. He calmly walks over to his sister Orihime Inoue.

"Hey!! You're supposed to be dead and become the hollow Acidwire!!" Orihime is a might confused at this point, as are most of the readers I would wager.

"Whatever. Moving on, we have Toshiro and Momo's best friend, Izuru Kira!" Aizen said.

Izuru Kira runs into the scene and cries as he hugs Toshiro and Momo. "I miss you guys so much!" Izuru cried while Toshiro and Momo rolled their eyes in disgust.

"Next…All the way from Soul Society as well, Rangiku's friends, Yumichika Ayasegawa and Ikkaku Madarame!!"

Yumichika, who is now free from the ropes and gag, and Ikkaku walk into the scene and smiled at Rangiku.

"I wish Kenpachi was the one who visits me but oh well, they will do." Rangiku groaned.

"Next we have, Ichigo's father…Isshin Kurosaki!!" Aizen said.

"Oh…hell…no." Ichigo said in despair. A man with short black hair trots out onto the beach, while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and brown khaki pants. Immediately, when he sees Ichigo, he frantically jumps into the air and hugs his beloved son.

"Ichigo!" Isshin yelled happily. "How have you been doing?"

"Not too bad I suppose." Ichigo groaned.

"And now, we have Rukia's...Oh WHAT THE HELL?!" Aizen screamed. The other contestants, friends and relatives all looked shocked as well. Especially Rukia.

An identical man with long black hair, black eyes and wears a light blue scarf, white coat and black robes enters the beach.

"Byakuya?!" Rukia said in complete shock.

"Did someone say my name??" The voice of the REAL Byakuya yells from the trees.

Aizen quickly takes control of the situation, as all eyes turn towards the tree line. "Please ignore the voices behind the tree line!"

"I heard my name, damn it!" Byakuya yells again.

Aizen smiles, then runs back into the trees. For several minutes there are some very loud screams, the breaking of branches, and what sounds like breaking bones. Aizen returns to the beach looking a bit disheveled but happy none the less. He's evil, so I suppose kicking the shit out of Byakuya and everyone else in the tree would have the tendency to make him happy. He wipes a speck of blood off his very cute Hawaiian shirt.

"Remind me to take some drugs after we get the hell out of this island." Rukia said to Ichigo and Isshin, shaking her head.

"No problem." Ichigo and Isshin said at the same time. Aizen consults his clipboard.

"Okay, having the author making an identical person that looks like Byakuya, come on. Is that the best he can come up with?" Aizen shakes his head. "Next, we have Grimmjow's cousin…Arturo Plateado!!" Aizen scratched his head. "What is he even doing here? He's not even a canonical character in the anime for crying out loud…"

A man with messy light blue hair and wears a white suit and white hakama walks into the beach and walks over to Grimmjow.

"Oh, it's you." Grimmjow said, narrowing his eyes at his cousin.

"Hey Grimmjow." Arturo said calmly.

And well…that was about it. They just sorta stood there, and stared at each other. Perhaps sensing that nothing too exciting was going to happen in the near future, Aizen went on with the introductions.

"Alright, to speed things along a bit let's just bring everyone out. I mean we still have the damn immunity challenge to do here."

This bit of news didn't seem to make anyone brighten up at all, although both Hanataro and Renji had finally regained consciousness. In the meantime nine people trotted out onto the beach. This confused Aizen slightly, as there were only eight survivors left on the clipboard, who hadn't seen their so called loved ones yet.

"Hey Aizie!!" A girl with short brown hair and wears a simple white Japanese school uniform, a yellow headband on her head and light blue skirt shouted, waving her arm. Her name was Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Oh no…" Aizen rubbed at his temples. "Please tell me the producers did not drag her on here."

"Who is that?" Chad was eyeing the young girl suspiciously.

"I believe she said she was the host's cousin, Haruhi Suzumiya." Oscar Joaquin de la Rosa, Chad's grandfather nodded. "Yea, you can see the family resemblance."

"Aizen has a cousin?" Now Yoruichi was confused.

"Wow, that's kinda neat." Yoruichi's sister added.

"So it would appear." Urahara said.

"She's pretty nice actually." A girl named Ururu Tsumugiya, who is one of Urahara's employees, said.

"I wanna go home.." Hanataro then broke down into tears….and so did his brother.

"Oh shut up Hanataro." Ichigo appeared to be getting fed up with his whining.

"Does he do that a lot?" Szayel's daughter, who really did turn out to be Sakura Haruno from Naruto, asked her father.

"All the damn time." Szayel said to Sakura.

And as Haruhi walked toward our host, the conversations continued. Ulquiorra was talking with his father, asking how his mother was doing while Soi Fon was having conservation with her lieutenant of the Second Division, Marechiyo Omaeda.

"Haruhi, what are you doing here? Or a better question would be why you are wearing your trademark Japanese school uniform?"

"Geez Aizie, nice to see you too, and this is not a school uniform. It's my Espada clothing." Haruhi crossed her arms, looking almost as evil as her uncle. Then Haruhi perked up and hugged her uncle passionately while Aizen looks uneasy at this. "I miss you so much!!"

This display caused everybody in the beach to fall silent, well except for a few muffled thuds as several people fainted from shock.

"Calm down Aizie, before I ruin your treacherous bastard image. Which reminds me, isn't it time for the immunity challenge?" Haruhi said as she lets go of Aizen.

This bit of news seemed to make Aizen look happier now.

"Ah yes." He then let out a fit of evil laughter. After a few seconds, he regained his composure. "Time for the…**Maze of Peril**!"

This elicited several groans from various contestants, blank stares from a few of the guests, one fainting spell from Hanataro's brother, and a great show of interest from Haruhi. Aizen then grinned like a shark and drag his sister over to a nearby maze, as everyone else sorta followed behind looking like condemned prisoners.

"The object of this game is very simple. You will be paired with another team member. One team member will be blindfolded, the other will have to guide the blindfolded team member through the maze in order to locate a flag. This can only be done by shouting directions at them from the top of the maze. The first tribe to get all their flags out of the maze wins. However, you must only collect your tribe's flags. Each flag is clearly marked."

"What's the catch?" Rukia was paranoid, and rightly so. I mean this is Aizen we are talking about.

"The maze is filled with crocodiles, lions, wild monkeys and maybe a hollow or two. Easy. Now since we have all these special guests here today, Haruhi you get to partner our vict…err…contestants up."

_Ten minutes and two fist fights later_

"All set to go Aizie." Haruhi was quite pleased with her selections.

"Alright then…GO!" Aizen then sat down in his lawn chair and handed Haruhi a Mountain Dew. "This is the fun part."

And eight people ran through the maze blindfolded, with only their partners to guide them.

"GO RIGHT, RIGHT!!" Ulquiorra yelled as he stood above the maze, waving his arms at Soi Fon. Soi Fon in the meantime was trying not to get eaten by a crocodile.

"Left…no, you idiot, YOUR OTHER LEFT!!" Ichigo was very close to killing Hanataro himself, never mind the wild monkey that was currently chewing on Hanataro's leg.

"Right…left…jump…duck…" Grimmjow seemed almost board with this whole exercise, especially since Urahara took directions so easily.

"Move your ass!!" Szayel followed up this bit of direction with a well placed zap of electricity to Gin's butt with his taser gun (How he gets it, I do know.).

"You're almost out!! Right…left…YES!!" Toshiro jumped up and down as Momo exited the maze, with only minimal injuries.

"That's one for the Shinigami tribe." Aizen cracked open another Mountain Dew can. "Isn't this fun?"

"Oh very." Haruhi was on her third Mountain Dew and feeling rather perky at the moment.

"AHHH!! RUKIA, RANGIKU HAS OUR FLAG!! SICK'ER!!" Renji was jumping up and down like a frantic moron. Rukia in the mean time, tackled what she thought was Rangiku. Turned out to be Chad instead.

"Left…right…jump…dive…you're out." Grimmjow yawned as Urahara crossed the finish line with a flag and zero injuries.

Meanwhile Rangiku managed to find the right flag and stumble out of the maze, followed closely by Hanataro, dragging his lion with him.

"Two for Soul, one for Shinigami. God I love this job." By this time both Aizen and Haruhi were getting quite tipsy.

"Damn it Rukia that's CHAD!!" Renji was this close to going down there and beating the hell out of Rukia.

"Kick him!!" Yoruichi was now going spastic herself. "Gouge his eyes out!!"

Meanwhile Soi Fon somehow managed to get a flag out, and she was quickly followed by Gin.

"Well then looks like Soul wins. Tribes gather your tribe mates and head back home. Guests get back on the chopper." Aizen's words were a bit slurred at this point. "Shinigami see you at tribal council…Haruhi hang out for a while."

"No problem." Haruhi couldn't have moved it she'd tried…she was seeing double.

And so there was a tearful goodbye, and a least one instance of one tribe member trying to sneak on the chopper. The two tribes hauled their injured members back to camp, while Aizen and Haruhi continued their drinking binge.

* * *

**Back in the Tree…**

Four broken and bloody men sit in their tree, trying to see what the hell is going on.

"Hey is that Aizen's cousin?" Byakuya was now eyeing Haruhi, despite having two black eyes and what appeared to be a broken arm.

"Yea...oww." Uryu was nursing a black eye and swollen lip.

"She's pretty hot."

"Wonder if she can fight?" Hisagi was no better off than anyone else, with a severe concussion, and a twisted ankle.

"Wonder is she would be good experimental hollow?" Tosen had escaped relatively unscathed, with only a couple bruised ribs. Suddenly, when two lions showed up underneath the tree, their thoughts turned to more important matters…like screaming.

* * *

**Back on the beach…**

Halfway through their third can of Mountain Dew…Aizen and Haruhi broke into a song..

"Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts…deedle dee dee…standing in a row…"

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be the next to be eliminated?_

Ryo: Hope you enjoy this chapter. BTW, Kyo Abarai is a made-up character and Haruhi Suzumiya is a character from the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise and the anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. And giess what? We will see her again.


	11. Fifth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 11: Fifth Tribal Council**_

**Shinigami Tribe**

Well, it was that time again. Time once more for the entire tribe to scheme and plot, hoping not to get voted off. Speaking of scheming and plotting…it appears as if Yasutora Chad Bitchface (Yeah, that's what everybody in the Shinigami Tribe been calling him for the past few days.) has been cornered by our intrepid camera man.

**(YASUTORA 'CHAD' SADO – Shinigami Tribe)**

_"Well, you know, I'm going to have to get rid of Renji. If Pineapple-head goes, Yoruichi won't be too far behind. I do have to make Yoruichi suffer. I hate to be so rough on the poor trollop, but she really does deserve it. I mean really, what's so great about her anyways?"_

After another twenty minutes of Chad going on about how he plans to torture Yoruichi, our camera man fakes a heart attack and escapes to bother someone else.

**(HINAMORI MOMO – Shinigami Tribe)**

_"I know I'm gonna be the next one gone." Momo looks around then breaks down into tears. "Nobody loves me…"_

After these two mind numbing displays our camera turns to passive mode, and finds a rather interesting development. Rukia, still with no alliance, is conversing with Ichigo. There was several minutes of whispered words, then she slinks off toward where Renji and Yoruichi are sitting.

"Yoruichi, that Mexican guy is a psycho!" Renji growls.

"Yes Renji I know that, the problem is everyone is too afraid to vote for him." Yoruichi sighs, combing a hand through her hair. "It's gonna be tough getting enough votes."

"How many votes do we need?" Renji is starting to look a bit anxious.

Yoruichi thinks for a moment. "Well, Hanataro will certainly vote for himself. I'm pretty sure you're next on Chad's hit list. So both him and Ichigo will vote for you. Me and you will both vote for Chad. That leaves three votes unaccounted for."

"I think I can help you with that." Rukia sits on the log next to Renji. "I mean we can always do like the Soul Tribe did and vote twice."

"Uh…that's cheating." Renji is a nice guy, but not too bright sometimes.

"What if I tell you I can get four votes for Chad to vacate the island…that includes one vote from each of you."

Rukia smiles a bit, and both Renji and Yoruichi get the shivers. That smile looks a lot like Aizen's _I'm gonna kill you and enjoy it_ smile. Maybe Rukia's been spending a little too much time around our evil host?

"That still leaves four votes in limbo." Yoruichi leans forward a bit. "If there's a tie, things are gonna get complicated."

"Remember Hanataro is going to vote for himself."

Both Yoruichi and Renji look at each other then slowly turn their attention back to Rukia. The little hamster wheels in their brains are slowly turning. If Rukia can deliver…then their nemesis is out the door.

"Alright, you have a deal." Yoruichi holds out her hand.

"Then, at least for this vote, we have an alliance."

They shake hands, and the fate of Chad appears to be sealed…

* * *

**Tribal Council**

Well…Aizen and Haruhi were pretty sloshed, to say the least. Apparently a two hour drinking contest occurred after a rousing rendition of several Lion King songs. So when our tribe mates arrived they were a bit surprised at the welcoming.

"Hey there friends, neighbors, and people I would like to kill!! How are you this fine evening?" Aizen stumbled a bit, trying to stand up.

"Ah…fine?" Yoruichi looked as confused as everyone else felt.

"Great! Go vote some poor slob off the island."

Aizen grinned broadly then stumbled over to his cousin, who was swaying back and forth. Yoruichi shook her head, and walked over to the voting pot. She quickly scribbled out a name, then held up the card.

"Sorry Chad…but what you did to Uryu was totally screwed up."

Momo was next. She walked to the pot, like someone walking the final mile on death row. She wrote out a name, and held up the card.

"I'm sorry Toshiro, but I'm hoping you get more votes than me."

Toshiro went next. He scribbled out a name, and held up the card.

"I still hate you Renji."

Toshiro walked back to his seat, and it was Renji's turn. He wrote down a name, and held up the card.

"I despise you Chad…die a horrible death."

Renji wandered back to his seat. Hanataro was the next one to slink off to vote. There was no surprise when he wrote down his own name, said nothing, and sat back down. Rukia was next. She quickly wrote out a name and held up the card.

"Sorry Chad, but you're moving in on my partner Ichigo. I may look all wholesome and sweet but I'm really a mega bitch from hell, and you have pissed me off you little trollop."

Rukia then smiled sweetly and skipped back to her seat. Chad was next. He wrote down a name, and held up the card.

"Sorry Renji, but I think it's time you joined Byakuya and Uryu in the tree of shame."

Chad took his seat. Ichigo was the final person to walk to the pot. Chad gave him a little wink as he walked by. Rukia looked ready to strangle him. Ichigo wrote out a name…then held up the card.

"I'm sorry Chad, but Rukia convinced me to help her." He looked around nervously then leaned in closer to the camera. "She threatened me. I mean you probably think she's just some sweet naive little girl…but she's evil in carnet…trust me I know."

Ichigo then sat down.

"Er'll read out da votes." Aizen said drunkenly. He stumbled over to the pot, picked it up, then wandered over to the rest of the group. However, due to massive amounts of alcohol consumption and pure dumb luck, he tripped and the pot hit the ground with a resounding crash. Little cards went flying everywhere. One landed at Chad's feet, and when he saw the name on the card and handwriting in which it was written…well he was not pleased.

"Ichigo you…TRAITOR!!"

Chad then jumped onto Ichigo and they both hit the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. Both Aizen and Haruhi found this vastly amusing. Yoruichi, in the meantime was scrapping together the votes.

"YOU **_BEEPING BEEPEDY BEEP BEEEEEEEP_**! I'LL KILL YOU!!"

At this point Chad was sitting on Ichigo's chest and had his hands firmly wrapped around his throat. In the process of trying to chock him to death, he was repeatedly banging his head on the ground. Rukia found this to be a rather unacceptable display…and jumped onto Chad from behind. Meanwhile Yoruichi handed the votes over to Haruhi, since Aizen was busy trying to break up the fight. Well, at least it looked like he was trying to break up the fight, in all honesty he was egging it on.

"Kick his ass Rukia!!" Aizen slurred, waving his arms around widely.

Haruhi looked over the votes, then smiled.

"Guys…hey guys…GUYS!!"

But Haruhi's pleas went unheard. Chad continued to throttle Ichigo, Rukia continued to hit Chad repeatedly in the head, Renji continued to try and pry Rukia off of Chad, and Aizen continued to egg the entire fiasco on. Finally Haruhi pulled her magnum and fired a round…which hit Aizen in the shoulder. Sobered him up pretty fast too.

"Sorry about that Aizie." Haruhi cleared her throat. "Yasutora 'Chad' Sado, you have been voted off the island…bye!"

But before Aizen could throw Chad over the railing, Rukia did the honors. There was a loud crashing sound…then silence…but that didn't last long…

"YOU!!" Two male voices said in unison.

"I'm really sorry…IT WAS ICHIGO'S IDEA!!" Chad lied.

This outburst was followed by more crashing sounds, and some whimpers of pain. In the meantime, the Shinigami tribe bid a hasty retreat while Aizen went to converse with his cousin about getting shot…

* * *

**In The Tree**

Tosen and Hisagi were trying to stay as far from the fighting as possible. Mostly because Chad was getting his ass kicked by Byakuya and Uryu. Suddenly something hit the tree with a loud crash…and landed right in Byakuya's lap.

"Oh hey there. You must be Byakuya Kuchiki." Haruhi smiled.

"Uh…hi?" Byakuya was a bit confused and somewhat surprised. "How did you get here?"

"Oh Aizie got a bit pissy about me shooting him, and tossed me over the railing. No biggie." Haruhi smiled again, then glanced to where Chad was currently getting beaten up by Uryu. "Damn, he's kicking his ass."

"Yea."

_**Next Time on Survivor**_

_Yet ANOTHER immunity challenge…_

_More un-censored violence…_

_A bit of a twist…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Yoruichi: Chad_

_Momo: Toshiro_

_Toshiro: Renji_

_Renji: Chad_

_Hanataro: Hanataro_

_Rukia: Chad_

_Chad: Renji_

_Ichigo: Chad_


	12. Day 14 or 15 Does Anyone Really Cares?

_**Chapter 12: Day 14 or 15…Argh, does anyone really care what day it is?!**_

**Shinigami Tribe**

To say that no one is worried about Chad being gone, would be an understatement. In fact, the entire tribe is having one hell of a party, which appears to include a case of Mountain Dew which someone in the tribe managed to filch from Aizen. The only one who looks like they aren't having a good time is Ichigo, whose just been corned by a very drunken Rukia.

"I bet you thought you could get rid of me, didn't you?" Rukia is slurring pretty badly at this point.

"Ah…no, not at all." Ichigo smiles, trying to stave off the inevitable violence which is about to occur.

"Yes you did!"

Ichigo turns three shades of white as Rukia yanks her clothes off. At this point everyone at camp turns to stare, consequently the show's ratings jump 20 points. Rukia smirks at Ichigo, dressed only in what appears to be a leather bra, a black leather collar, a very very skimpy pair of black leather underwear, and five inch spike heels. In her hands is a long black whip.

"I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson…"

If possible, Ichigo actually paled more. Everyone else present backed away slowly, cowardice maybe, but they certainly weren't going to get involved if they didn't have to. Rukia smirked, pulling the whip in her hands and taunt before she began to swing it around wildly. Several blows landed neatly on Ichigo's head and shoulders.

"AHHHH!!" Ichigo ran around in circles waving his hands like an idiot.

"On your knees, kiss my feet!! HO HO HO HO!!" Rukia laughed menacingly.

"AHHHH!! Princess, Princess, Princess!!"

This proclamation only made the spectators even more confused, and they continued to stare as Rukia continued to 'punish' Ichigo.

"Princess? _**I**_ am your QUEEN!!"

* * *

**On the Beach**

Aizen felt worse this morning than he had after last night's drunk incident. Of course the bullet wound in his shoulder certainly wasn't helping his mood any. But the thought of the tortures to come was definitely helping his mood. He actually giggled to himself as the tribes walked onto the beach.

"Is he giggling?" Szayel stared at Aizen like he'd lost his mind.

"It sounds like it. That's even creepier than Gin's tittering laugh." Grimmjow shuddered a bit.

"My laugh is not creepy." Gin crossed his arms and pouted.

The Shinigami Tribe appeared to be just as concerned over Aizen's giggling as the Soul Tribe was.

"Ok, that's just creeping me out." Momo whimpered, hiding behind Toshiro.

"Well, that's the second creepiest thing I've ever seen." Yoruichi figured that right now, watching Rukia whip Ichigo into submission was probably number one on her list.

After a few more minutes of creepy giggling, Aizen got control of himself. Giggling was not his preferred method of evil induced laughter, but it was the best he could do with the hangover he had. He cleared his throat and mustered up a rather pathetic evil smile.

"Well, Shinigami Tribe how are things going after the last tribal council?"

"Just peachy!" Rukia's normal enthusiasm was back in full force. To her left Ichigo was whimpering softly and attempting to hide behind Hanataro, of all people. Aizen took this whole scene in and finally decided that perhaps he had gone a bit too far with Rukia's 'Evil Training'. Then again, watching Ichigo whimper was rather amusing.

"Alrighty then. Today's immunity challenge!"

As usual, whimpers, swearing, and at least the sound of two people fainting followed this loud proclamation. Now this was enough to coax a genuine evil smile out of our hung over host.

"Today is something of an endurance challenge. Both teams are going to be placed in a large room with Grand Fisher. The last one standing wins immunity for their tribe. The rules are simple. One, you cannot hit Grand Fisher. If you do, you are out of the game. Two, if you are knocked unconscious or killed, you are out of the game. Ulquiorra, you have to sit this one out. Not only will it make the teams even but I doubt Grand Fisher could really do you any damage. Any questions?"

There was a loud murmur of no, with a few obscenities thrown in for good measure. Aizen's smile broadened and he lead both tribes to a large fabricated room in the middle of the beach, roughly the size of the Las Noches palace's lobby.

"In you go, have fun!" Aizen shuts the door, then sat down in his usual lawn chair, with his usual allotment of Mountain Dew, and watched the chaos unfold…

Grand Fisher stumbled into the room from a doorway in the northwest corner of the large room. He glared around at the assembled Survivors, then let out a loud roar before heading straight for Hanataro. Hanataro let out a strangled scream before running for the exit. In the process he ran right over Grimmjow and Urahara. The result of which was total and immediate unconsciousness for the two members of the Soul Tribe. As Hanataro continued to run in circles screaming like a fan girl on crack, Szayel took this opportunity to remove himself from the game, by attempting to electrocute Grand Fisher with his taser gun which he use in the last immunity challenge.

"Hey! Szayel, that is not allowed, you're out!" Aizen yelled from his perch.

"You said we couldn't _hit_ him…you didn't say anything about electrocuting him!" Szayel screamed back, stamping his foot.

"No damage what so ever you idiot!"

Szayel mumbled a few well place and quickly censored obscenities, picked up Urahara and Grimmjow, and quickly exited the room. Hanataro attempted to follow, but was stopped when he ran into Toshiro at a dead run. Both of them hit the ground in a tangle of arms and legs.

"Get off me you moron!" Toshiro then proceeded to beat Hanataro about the head and shoulders. "Move!"

"Oh God…I'm gonna die!" Hanataro then broke down crying.

In the meantime, Grand Fisher attempted to hit Renji in the head. Thinking quickly Renji grabbed Momo by the arm and swung her into Grand Fisher's path. There was a sickening thud as Grand Fisher's bound hands hit Momo in the head. The poor girl crumpled into a heap at Renji's feet.

"Huh??" Ulquiorra looked a bit confused at this display of treachery by the Shinigami Tribe.

"Ya well, shit happens." Aizen cracked open another Mountain Dew, and proceeded to point and laugh at the carnage below him.

Inoue attempted to dodge Grand Fisher, but managed to get nailed in the head when Gin pushed her back toward the chained Hollow. This apparent betrayal seemed to infuriate Ulquiorra to no end. Meanwhile Toshiro and Hanataro had finally disentangled themselves. Hanataro then resumed his screaming and running. The tactic was working well, until he ran into a wall and knocked himself out.

"Serves you right!"

Toshiro shouted, waving his fist around widely. In the process of doing so, he clocked Grand Fisher, who then proceeded to mercilessly beat the poor teenage shinigami into a small puddle on the floor. After that, Grand Fisher turned his attention to Gin and Rangiku. Gin let out a blood curdling shriek, spun around, and ran right into Renji.

"Get off me you twit!" Renji yelled pushing Gin back toward Grand Fisher.

During this exchange, Rangiku had made her escape and was hiding behind Soi Fon. Grand Fisher zeroed in on Gin and took a swing. Somehow Gin ducked and Renji got clocked instead. Gin took this opportunity to crawl away and hide behind Yoruichi. Grand Fisher made a dive for Soi Fon. Soi Fon sidestepped and Grand Fisher hit Rangiku by accident, knocking her through the open exit door. Gin took this opportunity to faint on the spot. Yoruichi was actually quite relieved by this, having him cowering behind her was making her nervous.

"Only one Soul Tribe member left!" Aizen proclaimed with an evil smile. "I love this job."

Grand Fisher then made the single biggest mistake of the day, he targeted Ichigo. He smacked him up side the head, knocking him into Yoruichi. Both of them hit the floor with a loud thud. Yoruichi's head bounced like a beach ball against the wood floor, knocking her unconscious along with Ichigo, who was now laying on top of her.

"YOU _BEEPING BEEPEDY BEEP BEEEEEEEP!!_" Rukia snapped. She then yanked off her clothes again, revealing the same skimpy leather outfit from last night and produced the same black leather whip. "Only _**I**_ am allowed to kick the _beeping _hell out of Ichigo!"

"Holy hell?!" Aizen leaned forward, trying to get a better look at Rukia's outfit, and tumbled out of his chair to land in the middle of the room. Rukia then proceeded to swing her whip around wildly. In a display of pure treacherous and high intellect, Grand Fisher managed to dodge every blow by hiding behind either Soi Fon or Aizen.

"Oww…oww…oww…OWWWW!" Aizen was hoping around like his ass was on fire, while Rukia continued trying to beat the hell out of Grand Fisher. Soi Fon too was getting her share of blows. While trying to avoid said blows, she attempted to run past Aizen and got clothes lined by accident. She hit the floor with a sickening thud, unconscious. Rukia however did not care about that, she was intent on beating the crap out of that Grand Fisher hussy.

"Come back here you tramp!!"

Several more blows hit poor Aizen, who was really getting tired of being beaten by this point. However several observers, not so far off, thought it was funnier than hell.

"Kick his ass Rukia!!" Byakuya shouted, almost falling out of the tree.

"Way to go Rukia!!" Uryu yelled, from his position several branches above. "Whip him good!!"

"Kick the _beeping beepedy beep beep beepedy _out of that no good treacherous bastard!!"

Everyone turned to stare at Tosen, who looked like he'd lost his mind. Haruhi, Chad and Hisagi slowly inched away from him.

In the meantime, Aizen was now laying on the floor cowering, as was Grand Fisher. Rukia looked particularly proud of herself.

"Ok, you win, take my coat and get out of here! GO!!"

Rukia snatched the coat out of Aizen's outstretched hand and skipped back to camp, dragging the unconscious Ichigo behind her.

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Someone is about to be voted off…._


	13. Sixth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 13: Sixth Tribal Council**_

**Soul Tribe**

As everyone very well knows, but I'm going to tell you anyway, it's time once more for tribe members to try and B.S. their way into getting various other tribe members NOT to vote for them. Happens every other episode, you should be used to it by now. Of course it's funny to watch none the less.

Anyway, our reckless and somewhat stupid cameraman manages to corner one of our tribe members, in a conveniently secluded location to get their thoughts on the up and coming tribal council.

**(ULQUIORRA SCHIFFER (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"__That little Gin__** BEEP**__ had guts enough to hurt my pretty Orihime Inoue!"__ Ulquiorra then waves his hands around wildly while bellowing at the top of his lungs.__ "HE MUST DIE A HORRIBLE AND AGONIZING DEATH!!__"_

Feeling that retreat is the better part of valor, the cameraman slinks off to corner a different tribe member. He finds Inoue near the tree house filing her nails.

**(ORIHIME INOUE (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"Well what Gin did, was just wrong. However I want the little __**BEEP**__ to suffer so I'm voting for Rangiku."_

The cameraman then corners Szayel.

**(SZAYEL APPORO GRANTZ (SOUL TRIBE))**

_"Grimmjow has to go. He's a…__**BEEPING**__ jinx!!"_

Now turning to passive mode the cameraman escapes to a safe distance. He is well aware that it is not wise to get too close to any of these psychopaths for any length of time. They might like eat you or something.

Meanwhile, Gin and Rangiku are having a small meeting of their own.

"I'm voting twice."

"Gin, that isn't exactly within the rules you know." Rangiku pokes at the fire, trying to cook a fish and failing miserably at it.

"Worked at the last tribal council, now didn't it?"

"Yea, well…that is true…"

* * *

**Tribal Council Area**

Aizen leans against the railing, trying to ignore the pain in his back and shoulders. Several large bruises have already developed on several portions of his body, including his face. He's starting to think that loaning Rukia his Dragonball Z and Naruto manga collection wasn't such a good idea. He rubs at a particularly nasty bruise under his left eye as the Soul Tribe walks in and takes their seats.

"Well, how is everything going?"

"You look like shit." Urahara smirks.

Aizen somehow squelches the urge to break Urahara in half. "Just go _**BEEPING **_vote!"

A tall thin woman in a three piece dress suit runs into the tribal area, carrying several papers. "You can't say that!!" She scolded.

"Look lady I can say what ever damn word I want to say. I'm the freaking host after all!" Aizen's mood is so not improving.

"Listen to me you overgrown brown-haired bimbo. You can't say that, it's right here in your contract." The woman said as she shoves the papers under Aizen's nose. He mumbles to himself, his eyes traveling over the paper. Apparently there is a clause that says the host can't use any harsh language that may have to be censored. Sure he can torture innocent people and perhaps kill a few of them, but no swearing.

"Fine." Aizen snaps as the woman walks back off camera.

Several of the Soul Tribe members burst out laughing at this beautiful scene. Above them in the tree, the other survivors are laughing as well. Aizen crosses his arms, his face melting into a rather harsh scowl.

"Just wait until the next immunity challenge." He sneered. This shuts everyone up in a second, well everyone except those living in the tree. Aizen ignores them and points to the jar. "Vote!"

Ulquiorra is up first. He writes out a name and holds up the card.

"_**BEEP**_ you Gin. _**BEEPEDY BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP**_"

Trust me, you don't wanna know what Ulquiorra just said.

Ulquiorra stuffs the card in the pot and sits down. Inoue is up next. She takes several minutes to spell out the name and finally holds the card up.

"I'm sorry Rangiku but without you around, Gin will suffer."

She stuffs the vote into the pot and sits down. Soi Fon is up next. She scribbles out a name, and holds up the card.

"Rangiku, I've been meaning to get rid of you for a while, just never got around to do it till now."

Soi Fon smiles and sits down. Szayel is up next. He writes down a name and holds up the card.

"Grimmjow, you are a _**BEEPING **_jinx and you really have to go! You already cost us two immunity challenges!!"

Szayel drops the card into the jar, and sits down. Gin then sorta saunters his way up to the jar, and scribbles out two names.

"Ulquiorra, for hitting on my precious Inoue, you must be eliminated. Inoue, for being dumb enough to go out with that walking hulk of bio-engineering, you must be eliminated."

He drops the two cards into the jar and skips back to his seat. Urahara is up next. He writes out a name and holds up the card.

"Ulquiorra, you are just so wrong going out with Orihime…for your mistakes you must be punished."

He then gives his hair a flip, drops the card into the jar, and sits down. Rangiku is up next. She writes out a name and holds up the card.

"Grimmjow I am sick unto death of you every night, talking about sexy ladies and how much you admire me and Inoue for our big breasts before you go to bed. You are almost more annoying than Tosen!!"

She tosses the card into the pot and stomps back to her seat. Grimmjow is the last tribe member to vote. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"As much as I love your big breasts and admire how beautiful you are. Oh yeah. Sorry Rangiku but you have to go. You're annoying and a bit of a slacker." Grimmjow smiles weakly, drops the card into the pot, and takes his seat.

"I'll read out the votes." Aizen nods, and goes off to get the pot. He totes it back to his little table and opens the lid.

"Alright whoever got voted off, prepare for a trip over the railing. I'll read out the votes." He then starts pulling out the cards.

First card…"First vote, Rangiku"…two…"Grimmjow"…three…"Ulquiorra"…four…"Ulquiorra and Inoue. That's two votes for Ulquiorra. In fact that's two votes on one card. Gee I just wonder who that could have been??" Aizen arched an eye brow in confusion.

Everyone turns around to stare at Gin. Gin giggled nervously then turned to look at some rather interesting vegetation growing near the council area. Aizen smirked at Gin's apparent discomfort then went back to reading the votes.

…fifth card…"Grimmjow. Two votes Grimmjow, two votes Ulquiorra."

"Oh please God, let Ulquiorra get voted off tonight. After all, I'm still rather pissed of him not killing Ichigo back in Karakura Town." Grimmjow said as he prayed to God, for once. Ulquiorra frowned as he overheard him saying that.

…sixth card…"Rangiku"…seven…"Gin"…final vote…"Sixth person voted out of Survivor…Rangiku Matsumoto."

"Darn it!" Grimmjow cursed while Ulquiorra laughed at him.

"Rangiku, please bring me your torch." Aizen continued.

Rangiku doesn't say a word as she brings the torch up. Aizen smiles evilly as he said, "Rangiku, tribe has spoken." He then extinguishes the flame with his ladle. Rangiku smiles back, reaches into her bag, and brandishes a large…bottle of purple hair dye.

"Stay away from me you arrogant back-stabbing bastard!!" She shakes the bottle up and points the nozzle toward him. "Lay one finger on me and I'll mess your hair up!!"

Now Aizen did in fact seemed a bit worried about this predicament. I mean he simply couldn't be properly evil without his trademark brown hair, now could he? On the other hand if he didn't toss her over, he wouldn't get a pay check. So Aizen bravely advanced and grabbed Rangiku. You could almost accuse him of looking stoic…I know it's a stretch but work with me here.

Rangiku, true to her word, proceeded to squirt the entire bottle of dye into his hair before Aizen managed to fling her over the railing.

"It's permanent!! Takes months to get out!" Was her echoing scream as she landed in the tree with everyone else.

The rest of the Soul Tribe made a hasty retreat before Aizen got a good look at his new hairstyle. There was no telling what he might do, once he saw it. Though many of them suspected a homicidal rampage was in order.

* * *

**In The Tree**

Haruhi yawned loudly from her perch several branches above everyone else. Rangiku fell into the tree three seconds later, knocking Chad off of his own branch.

"Hi Rangiku!" Hisagi was smiling like a moron.

"Oh God." Rangiku moaned, moving a bit closer to Uryu.

"Hey what was all the shouting about down there?" Byakuya asked from his branch above Haruhi.

"Oh, well I sorta gave Aizen a dye job."

"You dyed his hair?"

Everyone in the tree looked dumbstruck. Rangiku nodded, holding up the empty bottle. Haruhi rolled over and eyed the bottle.

"Purple huh? Well I suppose Aizie can just pretend he's still in that band."

"What band?" Echoed by everyone in the tree. Everyone except Tosen, who was making various motions for Haruhi to shut up.

"Oh the _Arrancar Four, _played bass guitar and lead vocal." Haruhi sighed turning back over. "Let's see here, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Aizen and…Tosen."

"You were in a band?" Rangiku looked shocked as she and the others turn to Tosen.

"Yea, drums." Tosen blushed then proceeded to take a great interest in the surrounding foliage.

_**Next Time on Survivor… **_

_More senseless yet incredibly funny violence…_

_A reward challenge…_

_One Alliance breaks and a new one is born…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Ulquiorra: Gin_

_Inoue: Rangiku_

_Soi Fon: Rangiku_

_Szayel: Grimmjow_

_Gin: Ulquiorra and Inoue (What a moron)_

_Urahara: Ulquiorra_

_Rangiku: Grimmjow_

_Grimmjow: Rangiku_


	14. Day Whatever subtitled Green is in

_**Chapter 14: Day Whatever subtitled Green is in**_

**Soul Tribe**

As soon as the tribe head back to their camp, Gin disappeared. Not a big surprise there considering that he'd just voted for both Inoue and Ulquiorra. In all honesty he was probably more scared of Inoue than Ulquiorra. So while Ulquiorra went crashing through the trees trying to find him, everyone else discussed the next immunity challenge.

"He's going to try to kill us, you know that don't you?" Soi Fon sighed. "I think Rangiku planned it."

"Well duh." Urahara rolled his eyes. "Like she was carrying around a bottle of hair dye for the sheer joy of it."

Soi Fon glared at Urahara, as if looks could kill Mr. Hat-and-Clogs would be toast. Grimmjow was ignoring the entire discussion and talks about girls again while trying to sleep. Szayel was also ignoring the conversation while trying to come up with a plan to _kill _Grimmjow for being a jinx to the tribe. All in all, it would appear that our Soul Tribe is getting along as well as can be expected considering they're all crazy people, even more crazier than the members of the Shinigami Tribe.

* * *

**Shinigami Tribe**

Things at the Shinigami Tribe camp are just starting to become interesting this morning. In fact it appears a change of alliances is about to occur.

"This is all your fault!!" Toshiro was standing near the campfire, fists on his hips. "_You_ were the one that was supposed to make sure the fire didn't go out!"

Momo sat by the now extinguished fire and looked on the verge of tears. Everyone else was staring nervously at one another and wondering why Toshiro had suddenly decided to snap. Yoruichi suspected he might have been chewing on some of the local shrubbery.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?!" Toshiro snapped. Momo said nothing, merely sat there looking forlorn and ready to cry. Toshiro threw his hands up in disgust. "I swear Momo, you're about useless!"

"Hey!" Everyone spun around and were surprised to see Hanataro emerge from the tree line with an arm load of firewood. But what was most surprising was that he actually looked mad. "There's no reason to say things like that." Hanataro said sternly as he dropped the wood next to the fire. "I mean geez Toshiro you're more worthless than Momo is."

The tribe fell silent, well except for the audible _plop_ of Toshiro's jaw hitting the ground. Hanataro smiled sheepishly then started rebuilding the fire, with Momo's help. Renji glanced at Yoruichi and winked. It seems a new alliance has been built…

* * *

**On the beach…**

Aizen stood on the beach, nervously tugging at the Boston Red Sox baseball cap on his head. Despite dragging in four separate hair stylists the night before, nothing could be done to remove the purple hair dye. In fact they had only managed to make things infinitely worse.

Aizen growled to himself, still trying to adjust the baseball cap. He may not be able to get his revenge on Rangiku but he'd still be able to take his frustrations out on the remaining Survivors, and at least he still get to torture Ichigo, Rukia and their goody-good friends. An evil smile formed on his face as he thought about the evil immunity challenge he had planned for them. In fact when the two tribes walked out of the tree line to congregate on the beach, they found Aizen in a state of _pure-evil-bliss._

_**Pure-evil-bliss**__-- verb -- To be in a state of evilness so complete that it is impossible not laugh manically while imagining the death of your enemies and being totally oblivious to your surroundings. People can remain in this state for days, months, even years. People suffering from such effects are often referred to as __**Treacherous Bastards**__._

After several minutes of maniacal laughter, Aizen finally managed to pull himself together. He cleared his throat and turned his attention to the matters at hand. "Welcome to your next immunity challenge. However this is no ordinary immunity challenge, this is also a reward challenge."

There was a brief murmur of excitement among the tribes. This would be the first reward challenge of the game. During this brief respite, Aizen noticed Momo hanging off of Hanataro's arm. He found this sight to be quite interesting and puzzling. It would appear there was trouble in paradise among the Shinigami Tribe. He grinned again, imagining all the pain Toshiro would be going through…

* * *

**Meanwhile in the Tree…**

Byakuya scouted as far out to the end of the branch as he could manage, a makeshift pair of binoculars in his hand. It was truly amazing the things people could make out of coconuts, and here he'd thought that Tosen was completely worthless.

"He's on the beach alright. Ah damn he's wearing a hat." Byakuya said.

Haruhi was two branches above him. "Oh it must be bad then. However I think I can take out the hat."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow as an audible _click_ sounded above him. He had the distinct impression Aizen's day was about to get really, really bad…

* * *

**Back on the beach…**

"That's right, the winning tribe receives immunity and this." Aizen stepped aside and gestured to a table behind him. "Seven large pizzas, two cases of Coke, and two cases of beer."

You could cut the tension with a knife. The two tribes stared at each other with hate and malice. Aizen was fairly certain at least one person would have to be cared back to the campsite on a stretcher. He grinned yet again, imagining all the pain and suffering that is way about to shortly occur, however that thought was about to be interrupted…

_**KA-BLAM…**_

Aizen's cap flew off his head and came fluttering to the ground, a large bullet hole in it's center. There was exactly four seconds of silence then…everyone burst out laughing including the survivors in the tree. It would seem that the four hair stylists had only succeeded in turning Aizen's hair green, instead of getting the purple out.

"It's not funny!" Aizen shrieked as he was turning all shades of red, but it didn't diminish the laughter in the slightest. Rukia was hanging onto Ichigo, both having tears streaming down their faces. Grimmjow was laughing so hard that he was clutching his sides. Soi Fon and Gin were both sitting on the ground, laughing like a couple of hyenas. Haruhi had laughed so hard, she'd fallen off the branch and landed in Byakuya's lap. All in all everyone was getting fantastic enjoyment at Aizen's expense, not a really bright thing to do when you think about it.

"Oh you're going to think it's funny." Aizen growled, running his fingers through his hair. "Just wait till you see the immunity challenge!"

This sobered everyone pretty quick, everyone that is except the people in the tree. Aizen frowned, glancing behind him as the laughter continued. He could just make out Haruhi, sitting in Byakuya's lap, laughing, and clutching her magnum. His eyes narrowed a bit at this, though whether he was mad that it had been Haruhi who had shot his hat off or that she was sitting in his enemy's lap was a matter of opinion.

"I'll deal with them later, first things first." Aizen turned back to the two tribes and cleared his throat. "This particular challenge is going to test your teamwork skills, endurance, and combat skills. Come with me."

The tribes reluctantly followed Aizen down the beach. When they arrived at their destination they all stood shocked and scared. The challenge looked more like some kind of elaborate torture device than an immunity challenge.

Several yards out from the beach was a massive platform with two large poles. Each pole held six flags, white for the Soul tribe and black for the Shinigami tribe. But it was what was between the platform and the beach that was worrying everyone. First there were two large blades, roughly 2 feet apart, swinging back and forth over a long plank, past the plank was six foot gap with some kind of harness system running above it, past the gap was a log slowly turning in place, and finally a long platform full of burning hot coals. To make everything fair, there was actually two sets of everything so the two tribes could transverse the course without being in each other's way.

The two tribes turned to one another, perhaps figuring this was the last time they would see each other still in one piece.

"I'm glad to see my warped ideas frighten you." Aizen grinned, despite the echoing laughter from the tree. "Now, for the rules. The goal of this challenge is very simple, retrieve six flags from the center of the platform and bring them back to the two flag poles. Each person must retrieve one flag and run it up the pole. First you must dodge the blades, then use the harness to get across the gap, then run along the log without falling off, and finally get across the coals. Once you retrieve the flag, you need only make a return trip, hoist the flag, and tag a tribe mate. And by the way, don't fall in the water."

"Uh, why?" Hanataro looked ready to throw up.

"Well I'm sure you'd make a tasty snack for great white sharks." There was a loud splash as ten Great White Sharks stuck their heads out of the water. Hanataro fainted. "Oh and do watch the bats and moths flying around." Aizen's grin widened as several people looked ready to cut and run…in the other direction. "Is everybody ready?"

"Wait! How do we know which tribe mate goes first?" Momo asked, still trying to revive Hanataro.

"Oh well that's the fun part, you get to argue amongst yourselves. GO!"

There was a ten minute fist fight on the Soul side, before they finally shoved Gin toward the planks. On the Shinigami side there was a unanimous vote that Ichigo should go first, of course the vote was greatly helped by Rukia's whip. Aizen grabbed his lawn chair and beer and waited for the fireworks…

_**(Author's Notes: Due to the fact that this particular chapter would become quite lengthy if I did each individual person I will now perform an act of sheer evilness and use lots of sound effects and screaming…thank you.)**_

Gin: "AHHHHHHHH!!"

**SPLASH…GURGGLE…GURGGLE**

Renji: "OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT!!"

Yoruichi: "There's a bat on my foot!"

Szayel: "My life is flashing before my eyes…boy it's kinda boring too…"

Ulquiorra: "OH MY _**BEEPING**_ GOD!!"

**SWISH**

Inoue: "AHHHHH…MY HAIR!!"

Soi Fon: "Um, I'm kinda stuck in this harness thing here…"

Urahara: "Ahh! NOOOOOOO!"

Ichigo: "Oh the pain, oh the humanity!"

**THE SOUND OF INSANELY ANNOYING CRYING**

Rukia: "How dare you touch me! Take that! HO HO HO!!"

**EVIL LAUGHTER FROM AIZEN**

Hanataro: "I don't wanna die!"

Grimmjow: "I'm too evil to die!"

Toshiro: "I'm too young to die!"

Momo: "I'm still a virgin!"

**LOOOOONG SILENCE**

**Several minutes later…**

Momo staggers onto the beach, a bat attached to her head and hangs the Shinigami Tribe's last flag. Meanwhile Ulquiorra is still trying to get out of the water with two Great White Sharks attached to his legs. Everyone else looks like they've just stormed the beach at Normandy.

Ichigo is unconscious, with several bat scratches and a massive bite mark in his chest. Renji is sitting by himself and rocking back and forth crying. Hanataro actually looks pretty good considering that a giant moth has taken up residence on his back. Yoruichi is still trying to get a bat off of her foot. Rukia is staring forlornly at her broken whip. Toshiro is bleeding profusely from a bite on his leg and is mumbling to himself.

The Soul Tribe didn't seem to fair any better. Grimmjow is crying on Urahara's shoulder. Urahara is nodding and patting his back, sporting two black eyes from a double bat attack. Szayel is secretly enjoying Grimmjow's pain while he attempts to dislodge a moth from his arm. Gin has gone into shock and is lying on the ground in a fetal position sucking his thumb. Inoue is crying like a two year old and now sports a much, much shorter hair cut. Soi Fon is trying to recover from getting tangled up in the harness and has numerous rope burns.

"Well then it seems that the Soul Tribe will be coming to tribal council again. Shinigami Tribe you may take your pizzas, soda, beer, and go."

The Shinigami Tribe collects their companions and food then somehow drags themselves back to camp. The Soul Tribe does the same, with Ulquiorra bringing up the rear dragging the comatose Gin by the foot and the dead Great White Shark by the tail.

* * *

**Meanwhile in the tree…**

After finally containing themselves, the outcast survivors are having dinner, coconuts of course and some bananas.

"Oh man Haruhi that was great!" Uryu stares at her a bit um, lovingly. "You're awesome!"

Suddenly, before Chad can slap the shit out of him and Haruhi can respond to the comment, several bats and moths attack!

"AHHHHHHH!!"

Tosen attempts to run around like an idiot but only manages to knock Rangiku out of the tree. Luckily Hisagi is able to grab her. Meanwhile Haruhi is being protected by Byakuya and Uryu, leaving Chad to fend for himself. By the way, he isn't very happy about it either.

On the ground Aizen stares up into the tree grinning like a shark.

"That'll teach you to laugh at me."

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be voted off??_

Ryo: Damn…Aizen is SO evil, isn't he? Anyways, it's that time again. Who on the Soul Tribe has to go?? Stay tune and read and review…


	15. Seventh Tribal Council

Ryo: Here's the next chapter. Oh and get ready because things are about to get weird…

_**Chapter 15: Seventh Tribal Council**_

**Soul Tribe**

Yeah, it's that time again. Once more the remaining Soul Tribe members must search their hearts in order to decide who must be eliminated from the running…yeah right. You know as well as I do that all they manage to do every tribal council is back stab someone or use the votes as an excuse for vengeance. Hell half the time someone, usually Gin, votes twice. I mean the voting on this tribe is never honest. Not to mention…

But I digress.

As usual, Inoue and Ulquiorra are off by themselves doing God knows what. Trust me you really don't want to know what they're up to, but I can tell you it has nothing to do with tonight's tribal council. Gin is sitting in the bushes still hiding from Ulquiorra. Szayel is nowhere to be found at the moment and neither is Soi Fon. Grimmjow and Urahara are figuring out who is the most beautiful female character in Bleach at the moment.

For all intents and purposes it appears that no one is concerned with tonight's vote. However our intrepid and slightly crazy cameraman still has a job to do and will now systematically corner each tribe member to get their thoughts, strange as they may be…

**(KISUKE URAHARA – Soul Tribe)**

"_Well, I'm still trying to get Gin off." Urahara said. "I mean that poor guy is just so tormented right now. Unlike our evil host I do not enjoy that sort of spectacle. Deviant sexual acts involving gophers is more my sorta thing."_

After a brief moment of shock, the camera man slowly backs away. The poor guy will be tormented with very graphic visual images for at least a month thanks to Mr. Hat and Clogs Psycho Freak. After taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts, he braves the dangers of another strange sexual fantasy and corners someone else.

**(GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES – Soul Tribe)**

"_I don't like that Szayel." Grimmjow said angrily, narrowing his eyes while thinking about Szayel. "I mean he is planning to get rid of me just because he thinks that I'm a jinx. So what?! Without my sexiness and my beloved fans, most of the Espada wouldn't have become some of the most popular characters in the show! And yeah, sometimes, I __**BEEP**__ up a lot and I always lose to Ichigo in several occasions, but still, does anybody give a damn __**BEEP**__?"_

The camera man then finally locates Gin's hiding spot.

**(GIN ICHIMARU – Soul Tribe)**

"_I'm all alone now. Inoue and Ulquiorra have to go, if I don't get them first…" Gin looks around nervously, rocking back and forth like some kind of mental patient, and suddenly lunges forward grabbing the cameraman by the front of the shirt while opening his squinted eyes. "They're crazy! They'd like cook me up and eat me for lunch or string me up by my ankles and beat me with wet noodles!!"_

In an act of desperation the cameraman grabs the only thing he can find and bashes Gin in the head with a coconut. As our little silver-haired freak falls to the ground unconscious, the cameraman takes off through the brush. Unfortunately for the sanity of our poor cameraman he accidentally stumbles onto Ulquiorra and Inoue.

"OH GOD…I'M BLIND!!"

Fortunately for the viewing audience he drops the camera while attempting to claw his eyes out. As he stumbles blindly off into the undergrowth, Ulquiorra and Inoue resume their extracurricular activities…trust me you DO NOT want any details.

* * *

**Tribal Council Area**

Aizen runs a hand through his newly dyed hair. The producers decided that they couldn't leave his hair green; it simply didn't fit with his evilness. So in an effort to restore our host's usual _bastard persona_ they called in five of the best Hollywood hairstylists that money could buy. After four hours, the best they could do was to dye over the green hair. Unfortunately there wasn't any brown dye strong enough for the job. Aizen is now sporting a mass of red hair and a new haircut. Apparently the stylists decided his haircut was too outdated. He's sorta got that whole Ben Affleck look from Daredevil going on now.

His fan base has increased by three hundred people in the two minutes he's been on camera.

As Aizen thinks about what kind of strange tortures he can inflict upon the tribes in the next immunity challenge, the Soul Tribe shows up. Immediately, Aizen smirks at the state of poor Gin. The strain of Ulquiorra and Inoue's relationship is taking its toll. Aizen almost feels sorry for the poor freak, especially since Gin, with his eyes open, is now giggling uncontrollably and has developed a nervous twitch in his left eye. Then again, this does present more tormenting opportunities for Aizen's repertoire.

"Well how goes things at camp?" Aizen asked.

"Oh simply wonderful." Inoue croons, grinning at Ulquiorra.

"This island REALLY sucks." Grimmjow said.

"I like chicken!" Gin's outburst is quickly followed by a loud slap from Urahara. Maybe the cameraman hit him a little too hard with that coconut.

"Ah…yes. Ok my little victims you may now go and crush the hopes of some unlucky contestant." Aizen said. Soi Fon is the first to vote. She struts over to the pot and scribbles out two ballots. Both of them have the same name on them.

"I'm sorry Szayel, but you have outlived your usefulness."

Soi Fon smiles at the camera and takes her seat. Szayel is next. He walks calmly over to the pot and he too scribbles out two ballots.

"In an effort to eliminate the two people who most threaten my chances, I must now break my honor code and vote twice. Soi Fon, you have outlived your usefulness. Grimmjow…well you're not a real threat on your own, but your continuous bad luck to our tribe is a pain in the ass."

Szayel takes his seat. Gin jumps to his feet and skips over to the pot, humming to himself. He scribbles out two ballots and holds them up, one in each hand. And I guess you already know who he is gonna vote for…

"Inoue, my beautiful crush, your relationship with Ulquiorra must come to end. Ulquiorra…well besides corrupting my precious Inoue, you're very scary and want to kill me. Sorry."

Gin skips back to his seat, smiling like an idiot, and mumbling something about Canadian bacon really being ham. Urahara shakes his head as he walks to the voting pot. It scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Gin, you need some professional help or at the very least some very strong medication."

Urahara takes his seat. Grimmjow is next. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Szayel Apporo Grantz …" Grimmjow coughed, then yells like a freaking maniac. "I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE AGONIZING DEATH INVOLVING SNAKES AND BEARS AND HOLLOWS AND…."

* * *

**Meanwhile…in the tree…**

"Sounds like Grimmjow has finally snapped." Byakuya stares up through the trees toward the council area. "I wonder what happened."

"Maybe Szayel finally got into his nerves." Rangiku puts the final touches on their dinner. "The bats are ready!"

"Finally something other than bananas and coconuts." Chad said as he snags one of the bats off the fire. Good thing they have Tosen around. Besides being able to make binoculars out of coconuts, he's also quite handy at making barbecue pits out of palm leaves, dry twigs, and some left over banana peels. Yeah it's strange, but work with me here.

"Lucky for you I have my gun with me." Haruhi says from several branches up. "Though I'm running short on ammo."

Yes indeed, it was our brave Haruhi Suzumiya who eliminated the bat/moth threat. Good thing too considering everyone else was either cowering in fear or in the process of being eaten alive. In fact poor Hisagi is still nursing several bat and moth peck injuries on his back and head.

* * *

**Back to the voting…**

After ranting for another ten minutes about the various creatures, real and in some cases imaginary, that Grimmjow hopes kill Szayel, he finally takes his seat. Inoue is the next to vote. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"I'm sorry Szayel, but you have outlived your usefulness. Not to mention that you are just way too good at the immunity challenges and that's going to be a bad thing for me once the two tribes combine."

She smiles sweetly and takes her seat. Ulquiorra is the final survivor to make his vote. He scribbles out the name and holds up the card.

"Szayel, you are simply too good at immunity challenges."

After Ulquiorra takes his seat, Aizen said to the tribe, "I'll read out the votes." He then hurries off to collect the jar. He returns a few seconds later and grins widely.

"As usual, the person with the most votes, get ready to be toss over the railing. And here we go…First vote…Ulquiorra…one vote Ulquiorra…"

…card number two…

"Soi Fon"

…card number three…

"Grimmjow"

…card number four…

"Szayel…Christ can't you people vote for the same person twice!"

…card number five…

"Szayel…two votes Szayel."

…card number six…

"Inoue"

…card number seven…

"Gin"

…card number eight…

"Szayel…three votes Szayel." Aizen frowns, glancing into the pot. "Ah bloody hell, some of you double voted, didn't you?! Damn Soul Tribe, ya sneaky bastards."

…card number nine…

"Szayel"

…card number ten…

"Seventh person voted out of Survivor, Szayel Apporo Grantz. Finally, another villain out of the competition since Tosen. Szayel, please bring me your torch."

Szayel stands, grabs his torch, and walks calmly over to Aizen. "Szayel, tribe have spoken." Aizen said as he puts the torch out with his ladle and cracks his knuckles loudly, preparing to perform the favorite part of this whole hosting gig. But before he can grab Szayel, Szayel pulls something out of his tank top and holds it directly under Aizen's nose. Aizen's eyes cross as he stares at the object in Szayel's hand. Finally he realizes what it is and lets out a high pitched scream of terror.

"AHHHH!! OH GOD GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!"

Then in a display of cowardice, one would usual attribute to Hanataro, he runs around in circles waving his arms around wildly. Szayel smirks still holding the offending object, it would appear our industrious Soul operative has finally discovered Aizen's one weakness. Unfortunately for him, Aizen is several times stronger and faster than him and is now running around uncontrollably. In an awesome display of stupidity, again something you would attribute to Hanataro, Aizen runs right into a nearby post snapping it in half. The broken post then slams into Szayel and knocks him over the railing to land in the tree with everyone else, dropping his taser gun in the process. Urahara widens his eyes at the weapon Szayel dropped and quickly snatches it before Aizen sees it. He may use it for good use in the future. Aizen finally breaths a sigh of relief and promptly faints.

"Did anyone see what he was holding?" Soi Fon whispers to Grimmjow.

"No clue, happened too fast." Grimmjow shrugged.

The Soul Tribe sighs and proceeds to exit the council area. Each of them gives the unconscious Aizen a good kick in the ribs as they leave, except Urahara who smiles widely as he takes out Szayel's taser gun and electrocutes Aizen before running out of the tribal council while giggling uncontrollably.

* * *

**In The Tree**

Szayel hits several branches on his way down and finally lands in Tosen's lap. Tosen lets out a blood curdling scream and scrambles behind Hisagi.

"What was all the screaming about?" Hisagi asks, tactfully ignoring the sniffles from Tosen.

"I finally discovered Aizen's one weakness. Unfortunately I didn't take into account his reaction." Tosen sighed. "I didn't think he have a full on Hanataro-like freak out."

"You know his weakness??" The entire tree, except Haruhi, asks looking stunned.

Szayel nods pulling the object that sent Aizen into his mindless cowardice, out of his tank top…

"That's…a mouse!" Byakuya is now in complete disbelief. "An evil back stabbing man to the Soul Society is scared of a _**beeping**_mouse?!"

"So it would seem." Szayel said.

"Hell, I could have told you guys that." Haruhi looks down from her perch. "He's been scared of mice since his pet tarantula got eaten by one."

"A mouse ate his pet tarantula?" Rangiku looks skeptical. "I though mice were herbivores."

"It was rabid."

Now it's Chad's turn to look skeptical. "A rabid mouse?"

Haruhi shrugs. "Yeah."

"Are you sure it was a mouse?" Uryu too is skeptical…seems to be the theme at the moment.

"I saw it. Aizie came running out of his room with the mouse chasing after him. Hell the mouse had one of Fluffy's legs hanging out of its mouth." Haruhi shook her head. "I managed to kill the damn thing with Dad's berretta. Aizie cried for two days."

This explanation is met with blank stares from everyone in the tree. Byakuya is the first to comment. "Let me get this straight. A _rabid mouse_ ate Byakuya's pet tarantula Fluffy and you shot it with a berretta. That just does not sound possible."

Haruhi sighed. "Yeah, a lot like Tosen's little invention. I mean come on a barbecue pit made out of twigs, palm leaves, and leftover banana peels. And let's not forget the binoculars made from coconuts."

"Point taken. I suppose it is possible." Byakuya ponders for a moment. "But don't you think using the berretta was a bit of overkill?"

"Well I was gonna use the shotgun but Aizie was in the way. I mean I was only like five at the time, how did I know you're supposed to use like a broom or something to kill mice? Come to think of it, Mom was pretty pissed about the hole in the floor and the blood all over the carpet."

This statement is met with silence, after a few minutes Uryu changes the subject…

_**Next Time on Survivor…. **_

_You guessed it, another immunity challenge…_

_Romance is in the air, in a very unexpected place…_

_An unexpected storm…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Soi Fon: Szayel/Szayel_

_Szayel: Soi Fon/Grimmjow_

_Gin: Inoue/Ulquiorra_

_Urahara: Gin_

_Grimmjow: Szayel_

_Inoue: Szayel_

_Ulquiorra: Szayel_

Ryo: See? What did I tell ya? Weird, isn't it?! An UlquiorraXInoue scene, Grimmjow snapping and finally, Aizen's weakness is revealed! Stay tune and read and review!


	16. Day Whenever There Are Guest Stars

Ryo: Here is the next chapter of Survivor Bleach Style. But before I start, I just want to say…I'm sorry Lucky Girl Dragon Wielder for writing Camp fanfiction and making everyone OOC. I'm really sorry for disappointing you…

And now, here's the next chapter…

_**Chapter 16: Day Whenever There Are Guest Stars**_

**Soul Tribe**

Our intrepid members of the Soul Tribe trudge back to camp, feeling quite proud of themselves on various levels. Not only did they get rid of Szayel, but they got to kick (electrocute for Urahara) an unconscious Aizen. A memory they will each cherish for years to come.

Anyway…

Ulquiorra and Inoue move into the brush to perform their regular _'extracurricular activities'_. Grimmjow, it seems, finally feels better now that Szayel is gone. Now nobody in the tribe can ever call him a jinx again. Consequently he and Urahara are having a pleasant conversation about gophers. Gin has gone back into hiding and, again, Soi Fon has disappeared.

However we soon spot Soi Fon in the brush nearby, collecting firewood. As she heads back to camp she stumbles over Gin, dropping her armload of wood right on his head.

"Geez Gin, find a new place to hide!" Soi Fon kneels down and starts picking up the wood. "Besides Ulquiorra and Inoue are _busy _at the moment so I suspect you're safe for now." This news only causes Gin to break into tears again. Soi Fon rolls her eyes, still trying to pick up the scattered wood. Without warning Gin lunges forward, wraps his arms around Soi Fon's waist, and buries his head in her bosom.

"Nobody loves me!" Gin's wails of pain are slightly muffled due to Soi Fon's rather…err…_large assets…_

"Now…ah…that's not true." Soi Fon pats his back awkwardly.

"Yes it is." Gin mumbles, then lifts his head to look her in the eye. "You wouldn't date Ulquiorra, would you?"

"Me? Oh, hell no. I mean, he's a grey skinned emo freak. I'm kinky but not that damn kinky."

"See and you're properly evil too, and smart, and pretty…" Gin sighs and buries his head again, crying. "I want someone like that!!" Soi Fon now starts to feel something rather strange and her heart grows at least half a size in that moment. She rubs his back a bit and pets…repeat…PETS his head. It seems romance is blossoming in the weirdest places on this island…

* * *

**Shinigami Tribe…next morning…**

Our intrepid heroes, or in some cases hero wannabes, wake up to find their camp almost under water. Yoruichi and Renji quickly erect a make shift shelter over the fire, while Ichigo and Rukia build a dam to keep it from getting flooded. Apparently a storm has moved in over night. The rain continues to pour, the wind blows ferociously, and lightning streaks across the sky as the tribe attempts to save their camp.

"This contest keeps getting worse and worse." Momo mumbles, attempting to move their food supply to higher ground. "Has anyone seen Hanataro?"

"I think he was trying to salvage the spears." Toshiro yells, grabbing clothes in an attempt to keep them from floating away.

"HELP!! I'M SINKING!!"

The tribe runs toward the screaming voice, to find Hanataro waist deep in sand. It would appear that Hanataro has discovered some quicksand. Working together it takes the tribe a good ten minutes to pull him out.

"I hate this island." Hanataro moans, wiping sand off his pants. "I really do."

* * *

**In the tree…**

Our poor castaways are faring only slightly better. At least the rising water has drowned the four hollows that had been hanging around the base of the tree. Byakuya and Haruhi are huddled under some palm leaves. Tosen and Rangiku have constructed a makeshift shelter from some nearby twigs. Uryu and Chad are huddled under Uryu's quincy uniform. Hisagi is hunched in a ball with his jacket held over his head. Szayel, being prepared as always, is sitting comfortably under an Umbrella.

"I hate this island."

The castaways say in perfect unison…

* * *

**On the beach…**

Aizen finds himself standing in the pouring rain, as the producers of the show have neglected to give him any kind of rain gear, in an exceptionally pissy mood. If the whole mouse incident hadn't been bad enough he was also in extreme amounts of pain from several broken ribs. Because of this he had come up with an extremely vindictive and evil immunity challenge for today.

Several seconds later, the two tribes slosh their way onto the beach, also soaked to the bone. Aizen smiles at their discomfort and attempts an evil laugh but his poor bandaged ribs simply won't allow it. He settles for a smug snort instead and turns his attention to the matter at hand.

"Well tribes, lovely weather we're having today. How are things going?" Aizen asked.

"Our camp is under water." Rukia grimaces. "And I think most of our clothes floated away."

"I got stuck in some sand." Hanataro then breaks down crying and Momo attempts to console him.

"Our fire is out." Urahara shrugs. "Oh and Grimmjow cried when he watches some poor ants and rats getting drowned."

Grimmjow sniffs as he wipes some more tears from his watery eyes. This seems to lighten Aizen's mood slightly, though he is confused as to why Soi Fon is holding Gin's hand. He shakes his head, quickly ridding it of several strange images and clears his throat.

"I have a special immunity challenge planned for today." Aizen announced. This news is met with the usual groans, moans, whispered threats, and fainting spells. Aizen gives the tribe two minutes to collect themselves and pushes on with his hostly duties.

"First of all, the immunity totem if you please." Aizen holds his hand out to the Shinigami Tribe.

Yoruichi took out Aizen's coat and hands them to Aizen. "You might…"

Aizen snatches the coat out of her hand before she has a chance to finish. He frowns as he stared at his beloved coat. His once beautiful and beloved white Espada coat now slightly torn, completely soaked (which he suspect that the Shinigami Tribe have been using it as a shelter to cover themselves from the rain) and several dirt stains on it.

"Good going Renji…you have to use Aizen's coat as a shelter for the rain and a towel to clean your hands. Now he looks even more angrier than ever." Toshiro snaps, hands on hips.

"Hey, come on, what else could I have use?!" Renji yelled.

Aizen looks up, so ready to kill Renji for ruining his coat, but he restrains himself. He puts on his coat and motions the tribes to follow him. After walking several yards, the tribes spot the location of their next immunity challenge. The area is covered with boulders, small trees, and a few small wooden walls. There also appears to be some quicksand, a bed of coals, and a small moat with very ferocious looking fish swimming around in it. On the farthest side of the obstacles stands two poles at the top of which is a bell.

It should be mentioned that the two tribes are currently watching their lives pass before their eyes.

"Now then, all you have to do is weave through the obstacles, cross the quicksand, cross the hot coals, swim the moat, and finally ring the bell on your tribe's pole. All you have to do is have three tribe members ring the bell in order to win. Simple."

"I know we've asked this before, but I'm going to ask again." Ichigo takes a deep breath. "What's the catch?"

"Oh yes, _the catch_." Aizen smirks evilly and gives a sharp whistle.

Four armed men and women step out of the tree line. The man in front, obviously the leader, has black spiky hair and is dressed in a white shirt, black pants, black shoes and what looks to be a golden sword on his back. The man to his right is blonde haired, wearing a black jacket, white shirt, black belt, blue jeans and carries a shotgun. The woman standing to the blonde haired man is a red haired girl who wears a blue school uniform and blue skirt and carries a sniper rifle. The last woman is standing toward the back of the group and has blonde hair, tied to a bun and wears a blue dress, silver armor, silver gloves, silver boots and carries a bow and arrow and a laptop.

"I'd like you to meet Team Muang, a team created by the author who organizes this competition, Ryo Muang." Aizen smirks. "The first person is Ricky Blade."

Ricky gives a sharp nod, grinning like a man half crazed.

"The guy to his right is Eliot Smith."

Eliot nods as well, gracing the tribes with a stony expression.

"The chick with red hair is Kasumi Kinomoto."

Kasumi gives a jaunty wave smiling happily. This appears to creep some tribe members out.

"And the blonde haired girl is Saber from the anime Fate/Stay Night."

Saber smiles weakly and nods.

"Now then Team Muang is here to give you guys a bit of a challenge. They will be attacking you as you travel through the obstacles. Don't worry I don't think they'll be using live ammunition and they promised not to kill you." Aizen grins as both tribes turn a pasty shade of white. "Now then who on the Shinigami tribe will be sitting this immunity challenge out?"

Much screaming and several fist fights later…Rukia sits smugly next to Aizen and his lawn chair. It should be noted the entire Shinigami Tribe will be attempting to dispose of her whip after the immunity challenge is over.

"Ready…set…GO!" Aizen cracks open a can of Mountain Dew and waits for the screaming.

After looking skyward and saying a short prayer, the two tribes plunge into the obstacle course. Toshiro is the first one taken out. Somehow he stumbled into Ricky's hiding place and was knocked out cold with the hilt of his Carsomyr sword. It is now apparent to the two tribes that they must be extra careful…especially since Kasumi has found an interesting snipping position and is now raining down bullets and throwing knives upon our poor contestants.

Soi Fon and Gin make it to the bed of coals relatively intact. Ichigo is pinned down behind a boulder. Eliot has eliminated Renji with a well placed boot heel to the face. Urahara is attempting to hop his way across the coal bed. Grimmjow fainted upon coming face to face with Saber. Ulquiorra is carrying Inoue across the quicksand. Momo is dragging an unconscious Hanataro along behind her as she tries to zig zag through the boulders and trees. Somehow Yoruichi is already swimming her way toward the bell.

"Hey Saber!" Ricky yells, while stalking Momo.

"What?" Saber asked.

"What the hell did you bring that computer for? There isn't any damn control room for you to hack into this time. Besides, you can only use a laptop when you're in our story _3942_." Ricky asked. There is a loud _SMACK_ as Saber knocks Ichigo up side of the head with her laptop. The poor slob falls over unconscious.

"It's a dangerous weapon in the hands of an expert." Saber smirks and heads off to reek more havoc upon some unsuspecting victim.

In the meantime, Inoue and Yoruichi both ring their tribe's bells. There is no sign of Ulquiorra as he has apparently sunk to the bottom of the quicksand. Urahara finally swims through the water and makes it to the pole, badly fish bitten but alive, and rings the bell. Unfortunately Momo zigged when she should have zagged and got nailed in the leg by a throwing knife from Kasumi.

"OH MY GOD!! I'M BLEEDING!!"

"Opps…sorry!" Kasumi does sound genuinely sorry for injuring young Hinamori Momo bodily harm.

However, Momo's screams of pain finally awaken Hanataro who jumps into action…by running around in circles screaming. This sight of stupidity causes Team Muang to pause for a moment. During which Soi Fon, Momo and Gin make a run for the poles. Of course in Momo's case, she's limping swiftly.

"Hey! They're getting away!!" Saber yells, from her precarious position in the quicksand. "And someone get me out of here!"

And so…

Eliot dashes to Saber's aide, Ricky takes off in hot pursuit, and Kasumi shifts positions to sight in on the escapees. Soi Fon and Gin reach the water in record time, however Ricky is only two steps behind them. In a feat so heroic, one would normally attribute it to Byakuya or perhaps Ichigo, Gin grabs Soi Fon and throws her into the water.

"I'll buy you some time!!"

Soi Fon is stunned, speechless, and certainly wastes no time swimming toward the poles. Gin spins around to face the oncoming Ricky with his most powerful weapon…

"Oh for the love of God!!" Ricky hops up and down, wiping at his mouth. "HE KISSED ME!!"

This particular outbursts stuns everyone, including Aizen who spits out a mouthful of Mountain Dew right on Rukia's head.

"Eww…yuck!" Rukia yelled in disgust. As Rukia attempts to wipe off the Mountain Dew, Ricky attacks Gin with a fury one could only describe as deranged and psychopathic. He reduces him to a puddle of whimpering _cross-dressing-psycho-freak _in a manner of seconds. At about the same time, Soi Fon reaches the pole and rings the bell.

"Contest over, Soul Tribe wins!" Aizen gets out of the chair and hands Soi Fon his wet and torn coat. "Shinigami Tribe, see you at tribal council."

The two tribes trudge and collect their fallen comrades and move off in opposite directions. Soi Fon quickly scoops what's left of Gin into a bucket and coos over it as she hurries to catch up to her tribe mates. Aizen finds this site to be woefully unhealthy and quickly departs.

In the meantime Team Muang heads for their chopper. Ricky is now brushing his teeth.

"That was kinda fun." Saber is still wiping sand off her dress.

"Speak for yourself." Ricky growls. "I'm never going to get the taste out of my mouth."

This statement causes the other three to stop and stare at him for several seconds.

"What?" Kasumi is the first to ask. "He didn't like…you know…French you, did he?"

"NO! I can't believe you would think that! You people are sick!!" Ricky snapped. He then stomps off to the chopper. Saber giggles slightly and pops open her laptop to display a large picture of Gin kissing Ricky right on the lips, incidentally it also proves that Gin DID NOT French kiss him. Later a web site will pop up …

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be voted off?_

Ryo: Who on the Shinigami Tribe has to go? Also, once again, I'm very sorry for writing everybody OOC in Camp Fanfiction, Lucky Girl Dragon Wielder. Stay tune and read and review!


	17. Eighth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 17: Eighth Tribal Council**_

**Shinigami Tribe…**

And so after patching up several of their comrades and reestablishing their camp on a bit higher ground, the Shinigami Tribe is now left with the unenviable task of voting someone off the island. Though it would appear that most everyone has already decided they want to vote for. But we still have to corner them and get their opinion, I mean it's our job. How else do you expect us to pay the rent?

And so in truest spirit of journalism, our intrepid cameraman corners Renji.

**(RENJI ABARAI – Shinigami Tribe)**

"_Oh no question, man. I'm definitely gonna vote Toshiro out tonight. One, he keeps voting for me, two, he bitches a lot, and let's not forget that he actually attempted to get me into trouble for ruining Aizen's coat so that Aizen may have the urge to kill me. That boy is nuts, not to mention…"_

After ranting on for another five minutes, Renji goes hoarse and the cameraman is able to beat a hasty retreat. The next person he corners is Toshiro.

**(TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA – Shinigami Tribe)**

"_Well I found out that the Soul Tribe has been voting more than once. Since I feel it is in the best interests of the camp that Renji and Momo go…I'm voting for both of them."_

After this mind numbing display of treachery, one would normally attribute to Aizen, the cameraman corners Momo.

**(HINAMORI MOMO – Shinigami Tribe)**

"_I'm gonna do like Hanataro and vote for myself" Momo then breaks down crying. "I wanna go home!"_

And so our camera returns to passive mode as Momo sobs and goes in search of Hanataro to cry on. Near the campfire the camera picks up an interesting scene between Ichigo and Rukia. Apparently they are using the tried and try method of…rock/paper/scissors in or to decide out who to vote of next. Though I didn't know you could actually use rock/paper/scissors to do that…go figure…

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen, our evil yet incredibly handsome host, is still running on a high from the earlier immunity challenge. Apparently evilness is like crack for sadistic bastards, who knew? So he's smiling from ear to ear and actually humming a little tune to himself. This display does nothing to improve the moods of our poor outcasts in the tree, who are anxiously awaiting to see who is gonna be voted off next.

* * *

**In The Tree…**

"Oh man, this is bad." Haruhi is in one of the upper branches, using Tosen's homemade binoculars.

"What could be worse than being drenched like a drowned rat?" Uryu huddles a bit closer to Chad. "I mean, we're stuck in a tree, it's raining, and the entire area is flooded. How could things possibly get worse?"

"Aizen is smiling _and _humming."

A universal shudder runs through each of the castaways.

"Yea, things could get worse." Uryu then breaks down crying, much to Chad's dismay…

* * *

**Back at Tribal Council…**

Aizen's smile broadens even further, if that is even possible, as the Shinigami Tribe steps in and takes their seats. Much like the castaways, the Shinigami Tribe is none too thrilled to see Aizen in this state. Hanataro actually goes so far as to faint. This only seems to make Aizen even happier, trust me this is really scary people…

"Now then let's vote and see who is the next one to visit the tree."

Toshiro is the first to vote. He steps over Hanataro's prone body and walks to the jar. He quickly makes out two votes and holds them up.

"Renji I still hate you. Momo well you're a twit for liking Hanataro."

He drops the cards in and goes back to his seat. Ichigo is next, he scribbles out a name, and holds up the card.

"Well after six rounds of rock/paper/scissors I decided that you have to go to the tree Toshiro. Sorry, nothing personal."

Ichigo drops the card in and takes his seat. Rukia is next.

"Sorry Toshiro but you know, rock/paper/scissors. Guess you're just unlucky."

Rukia smiles brightly and takes her seat. Renji is next. He quickly writes out three separate votes and holds them up.

"Toshiro I hate you with a passion, in fact words cannot even describe the fury of my hate for you. In fact I hate you more than Aizen hates Ichigo!! I hate you more than Grimmjow hates Ichigo!! And I hate you more than me and Uryu hate Szayel!! And furthermore…"

The show goes to commercial while Renji continues his tirade. After the brief break we come back to find Renji tied up and gagged in his seat. Aizen, it seems, had to take matters into his own hands. Which, incidentally, only made his day that much brighter. The smile is getting bigger folks, if Aizen gets to perform many more evil today the poor bastard might overdose.

So while Aizen continues his 'evil high', Yoruichi goes up to vote. She quickly scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Sorry Toshiro but you are kinda worthless, besides Renji threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't vote for you. He's been a tad stressed out lately."

Yoruichi smiles and drops the card in the jar. Next up is Momo. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"I wanna go home."

She drops the card in the jar and heads back to her seat. By this time Hanataro has finally come around and just in time to vote too. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Bet you thought I was gonna vote for myself…not this time baby! Toshiro you keep picking on my little snookers Momo. For that you must…DIE!! DIE A HORRIBLE EVIL AND HORRENDOUSLY PAINFUL DEATH YOU MANIACAL LITTLE TROLL OF A HOLLOW YOU!!"

To say that everyone was surprised by this outburst would be an understatement. In fact Aizen actually edged a little to his right as Hanataro went back to his seat. It's strange what happens to a person when they are stranded on an island for so long. Next thing you know Yoruichi will be dancing around in a thong singing show tunes or something.

"I will read out the votes." Aizen said. He walks to the pot, retrieves it and puts it in front of the tribe. "Once the vote is read, the decision is final. The one with the most votes, get ready to join the others in the tree. I'll read out the votes."

Aizen grins again, yea overdosing, and read out the first vote.

"First vote. Momo. One vote Momo."

…two…

"Renji."

…three…

"Momo. Two votes Momo."

…four…

"Toshiro."

…five…

"Toshiro. Two votes Toshiro."

…six…

"Toshiro. Three votes Toshiro."

…seven…

"Toshiro. Four votes Toshiro."

Aizen then peers into the jar and notices that there are at least three more votes in there. This development does not surprise him.

"Ok, I know several of you voted more than once. Do I need to read the last three votes?" Aizen asked.

The tribe mates look at each other for a moment then all eyes turn to Toshiro.

"No." Is the universal reply.

"Alrighty then." Aizen's smile gets even brighter as he cracks his knuckles. "Eighth person voted out of Survivor, Toshiro Hitsugaya. Bring me your torch, Hitsugaya." Toshiro stands up, glaring at everyone and carries his torch to Aizen. "Toshiro, tribe have spoken." Aizen grins and in one fluid motion puts out the torch with his ladle and tosses him over the railing. "You guys can go back to camp now."

The remaining Shinigami Tribe members beat a hasty retreat. That creepy smile of Aizen's is really starting to freak them out.

* * *

**In The Tree…**

Toshiro falls through the branches, knocking Haruhi off her perch in the process. Luckily for Haruhi, Byakuya manages to catch her. Toshiro on the other hand does not come out as well and lands in Szayel's lap.

"Err…um…hi?" Toshiro giggles a bit as Szayel stares at him with evil looking eyes. He quickly scrambles away and hides near Hisagi. Chad and Uryu both glance at each other and groan, seems neither of them like Toshiro much. Haruhi is glaring at him with intense hate and plans to injure him severely at the next opportune moment. Szayel doesn't really give a damn. Tosen and Rangiku both figure if worse comes to worse, they can eat him. Hisagi is just happy for someone to sit next to him so he can absorb some body heat. Byakuya…well Byakuya is just happy Haruhi is currently sitting in his arms.

And so the circle of…err…_stuff…_continues…

_**Next Time On Survivor…**_

_It's still raining…_

_A heroic rescue…_

_Another immunity challenge…_

_More pain and suffering for the contestants…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Toshiro: Renji/Momo_

_Ichigo: Toshiro_

_Rukia: Toshiro_

_Renji: Toshiro/Toshiro/Toshiro_

_Yoruichi: Toshiro_

_Momo: Momo_

_Hanataro: Toshiro_

Ryo: Sorry Toshiro fans but Toshiro is the latest to be voted off. Stay tune and read and review!


	18. Aizen on Crack

_**Chapter 18: Aizen on Crack**_

**Shinigami Tribe…**

The entire tribe pranced back to the camp. Well part of the time they had to swim thanks to the ever growing flood waters, but other than that is was a pleasant journey. Once back they prepared a nice meal and had one hell of a party. Halfway through, Renji flitted around the fire in a thong, singing show tunes and declaring to all within listening distance that his life has much improved with the sadistic bitch Toshiro gone. This display only causes Ichigo and Yoruichi to go running off into the trees to be sick, the cameraman breaks down crying, and Momo falls into a stunned coma. Thankfully the display is put to an end by a very brave Hanataro and Rukia's whip…

* * *

**Soul Tribe…Next morning…**

Things at the Soul Tribe camp appear to be running as smoothly as usual, apart from the occasional whimper of grief from Grimmjow. He sadly watches as the poor ants, rats, gophers or any creature that crawls around the ground drown in the waters.

"Now, now Grimmjow it's alright." Urahara pats Grimmjow on the back, trying to console him. "I'm sure they're in a better place now."

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Grimmjow continues to cry. "THOSE POOR ANIMALS!"

While Grimmjow continues with his "Five steps of Grief", Soi Fon and Gin are sitting near the camp fire discussing women's fashions.

"Soi Fon, the whole tank top and pants thing." Gin shakes his head. "It's just not right, especially for a Commander-in-chief of the Special Forces. A shinigami uniform with no sleeves or covering for the back would look simply beautiful on you."

Soi Fon is taking down notes and beaming at Gin with a look of love and adoration. It's really quite sickening when you think about it. Ulquiorra and Inoue are in the bushes…again…like that is really any surprise.

* * *

**On the Beach…**

Aizen stands amidst the knee high water that covers the beach and looks particularly bad this morning. He must be coming off his evil high, that is the only explanation for his lack of usual evil bliss. I mean the immunity challenge is coming up in just a few short minutes and he is displaying none of his usual evil grins or insane laughter.

The tribes slosh their way onto the beach and are also quite dismayed by the state of our host. Though secretly most of them are hoping the reason for his current mood is because the show cancelled the immunity challenge due to the rising water.

"The producers told me some very grave news…" Aizen says sadly.

"They cancelled One Piece on TV?!" Ichigo yelled frantically.

"South China Tigers are now extinct?!" Rukia yelled.

"New Orleans is hit by another hurricane?!" Inoue yelled.

"NO! They told me that…" Aizen sniffs as tears roll down his cheeks. "Due to the rising water… our immunity challenge has been…cancelled!" Aizen starts crying and wailing loudly.

The tribes' response? All the contestants looked at each other with smiles and they all erupt into a display of happiness that greatly resembles a drunken frat party! Renji is running around in his thong again. Hanataro is dancing around with Momo and yelling like an idiot. Rukia is squealing like a fan girl on crack and chasing after Ichigo with her whip. Gin is hanging off of Soi Fon and squealing in much the same way as Rukia. Grimmjow is belly dancing and laughing insanely. Urahara and Yoruichi standing on a nearby rock doing a river dance. Ulquiorra and Inoue are looking for some bushes.

* * *

**AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR…**

A beautiful girl in a blue dress was walking out of her house until…several hollows ambushed her!

"Ragh! Get ready to be eaten!" One of the hollows roared.

Instead of getting scared by the Hollows, the woman simply yawned and took out something from her handbag. Before the Hollows could lunge onto her, the woman quickly took out a pesticide and sprays frantically at the Hollows.

The Hollows then fell onto the ground and roll back and forth frantically like mental patients with seizures.

The woman smirked as she turns to the screen and holds up her pesticide. "_Hollow Jolt_! Kill those bloody Hollows before they kill you! Yeah!"

As the woman winked at the screen, a disclaimer displays at the bottom of the screen.

_Please do not let Hollow Jolt come in contact with plants, animals, humans, or anything else that is classified as being alive. The Espada will not be held responsible for any mutations caused by swallowing Hollow Jolt. Thank you._

**END OF COMMERCIAL**

* * *

**Back on the Beach…**

After a few minutes of celebrating, both tribes became restless. They also all have annoyed looks on their faces and covering their ears. Why?

Because they simply can't stand Aizen's loud crying and wailing!

Aizen clutches his sides and cried and wailed so loud that even the screen of the camera starts cracking and several birds died and fell down from the trees and into the water.

"Now I finally realize what's even more annoying than Aizen's insane laugh…" Yoruichi grumbled. "Aizen's crying…"

"Can somebody stop Aizen's crying?! He's really pissing me off!" Ichigo yelled.

"Fine…I'll go help him." Grimmjow groaned as he sloshes over to Aizen. "Aizen-sama, please stop crying."

"Stop crying?! How can I stop crying…WHEN THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE'S BEEN CANCELLED?!" Aizen cried some more.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes and hands him a water bottle. "Here, at least have some fresh water." Aizen nods sadly, takes Grimmjow's bottle and drinks it. Grimmjow walks away and heads back to other contestants.

After Aizen finishes drinking Grimmjow's water bottle, Aizen arches an eyebrow. For some reason…the water tastes…kinda strange. Then, all of the sudden…Aizen lifts up his head, shakes his head frantically for a few seconds then tosses the bottle away and hoots and hops around like a chimpanzee.

Both tribes looked at Aizen in confusion as Grimmjow walks over to them. "Grimmjow, what did you do?" Ichigo asked.

"What? All I did was give him some water…" Grimmjow then snaps his eyes open when he realized something. "Uh-oh…"

"What do you mean 'Uh-oh'?" Rukia asked, not liking this at all.

"I remember that the water in my bottle was mixed with some…steroids…" Grimmjow gulped.

"WHAT?!" Both tribes yelled. Suddenly, all contestants have frightened looks on their faces as Aizen jumps in the air and lands in front of them. As he stood up, he looked at them with a very VERY evil grin.

"The producers say that the immunity challenge is cancelled. But you know what the old saying say, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!" Aizen yelled. "For today's immunity challenge, you guys are gonna fight me! The first team that loses all of their members goes to tribal council! GET READY!"

This long proclamation is met with blanks stares for about twenty seconds. After the realization, in that the two tribes will now have to fight Aizen while he is high on steroids,…they proceed to have a full on freak out.

"AHHHHHH!" Hanataro runs around in circles, hard to do in such deep water. "I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"I AM THE CAMEL KING!" Aizen shouts before pouncing on Ichigo.

Aizen then proceeds to pummel Ichigo. This does not sit well with Rukia, who promptly yanks off her clothes revealing her trademark leather underwear and chases after Aizen with her whip. Gin has broken down into tears and is being carried by Soi Fon. After beating Ichigo to a bloody pulp, Aizen cloth lines Soi Fon, which send Gin flying though the air to land on Ulquiorra's head. Ulquiorra is knocked unconscious while Gin proceeds to run around mimicking Hanataro. Rukia is now beating Aizen with her whip, which isn't having a whole lot of effect on our doped up host.

"CHEESE IS YOUR ENEMY!" Aizen shouts and tackles Renji.

No one even attempts to help Renji. I think everyone is still creeped out by the whole thong incident. Grimmjow, sensing that his end is near, yelps in fear when Aizen approaches to him…

"LOOK AT ME! I'M JACKIE CHAN!"

He then knocks Grimmjow into a tree with an uppercut. While Aizen searches for a new victim, Hanataro and Gin run face first into each other and hit the water unconscious. While Aizen runs after Momo, still being chased by Rukia, Urahara leaps on top of a nearby rock and proclaims…

"This ends now!"

He then took out Szayel's taser gun and attempts to zap Aizen with a bolt of electricity. The bolt misses but ultimately is still effective. You see boys and girls, water is a fantastic conductor of electricity. The bolt hits the water and electrocutes everyone still wading around, even those already unconscious. After a few moments, Aizen stands up a few wisps of smoke curling off of him.

"Soul Tribe wins the challenge, thanks to the guy wearing hat and clogs. Shinigami Tribe, see you at tribal council."

He then falls face first into the water. Meanwhile a severely singed Rukia collects her tribe mates and limps off to camp. Urahara proceeds to collect all his tribe mates and moves off. But what about poor Grimmjow?

* * *

**In the Tree…a heroic rescue is in progress…**

Haruhi swings a bit, trying to grab Grimmjow by the hair. Byakuya has a hold of her feet, Uryu has a hold of his feet, while Chad and Toshiro hold Uryu. Haruhi finally manages to grab Grimmjow and drops him in the water below, where Urahara quickly collects his unconscious body and drags him back to camp.

"Alright, pull me up!"

Chad and Toshiro start pulling, dragging first Uryu then Byakuya and finally Haruhi back into the safety of the branches. Let's give them a round of applause folks for doing such a nice thing for the enemy!

**_Next time on Survivor…_**

_Who on the Shinigami Tribe has to go?_


	19. Ninth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 19: Ninth Tribal Council**_

**Shinigami Tribe…**

Yup, that time again. Oh come on, don't tell me you're surprised. This happens every week for heaven's sake. Anyway, we go to our slightly crazy cameraman to see who he has cornered this fine evening.

**(RENJI ABARAI – Shinigami Tribe)**

"_Well, um, since Toshiro is gone I'm not really sure who to vote for." Renji rubs at his chin. The viewing audience is supremely glad that he is no longer in his thong. "I know Hanataro kinda wants to go home and I don't like Ichigo much I suppose."_

The cameraman retreats, lest Renji put the thong on again, and corners Momo near the fire.

**(HINAMORI MOMO – Shinigami Tribe)**

"_I have a plan this week, oh yes I do."_

She then goes on to laugh in a very Aizen-like way. This only seems to creep the cameraman out and he bids a hasty retreat, cornering Yoruichi.

**(YORUICHI SHIHOUIN – Shinigami Tribe)**

"_Renji, plus thong. Need I say more?"_

Yoruichi's words evoke the recent memory of Renji's little 'episode', causing the cameraman to pass out on the spot. You know we seem to be losing a lot of personnel that way. The union is getting a might pissed about it as well. But, hey, what can you do…the island is full of freaks…

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen is not happy. It's not just his really bad hangover that is making him unhappy, either. It's mostly because of the little incident which he just had during the last immunity challenge. Because of that, the doctors have to give me some strong medication to control his insanity, by attaching a V-Chip onto the back of his neck. So every time if Aizen tries to do something bad, evil, crazy and insane or at least make a rude comment, the V-Chip will automatically electrocute him.

Aizen does his best to control his insanity, as the Shinigami Tribe marches their way to the tribal council area. The site of a completely sober Aizen with a V-Chip on the back of his neck only makes the Shinigami Tribe believe the old adage: _What goes around, comes around._ They pretty much figure that after all the evil things Aizen has done, he deserves having a V-Chip on the back of his neck.

"Alright go vote, you filthy-" Aizen was cut when the V-Chip then automatically electrocutes him, preventing him from swearing. "Yeah, just go vote." Yoruichi somehow manages not to laugh and goes to the voting jar. She scribbles out a name and holds up, not one but three cards.

"Renji I'm not sure if I'll ever get over the image of you in a thong. No, that is not a good thing."

She drops the card in the jar and takes her seat. Rukia is next. She scribbles out a name and holds up her card.

"Sorry Pineapple Head. I mean anything but a freaking florescent pink thong."

She drops the card in the pot and takes her seat. Momo is next. She skips up to the jar, looking more happy than usual, and scribbles out a name.

"I'm voting for myself."

She smiles brightly and drops the card in the pot before sitting down. Renji is next to vote. He scribbles out two names and holds up just one card. Guess he's trying to save a tree or something.

"Sorry Ichigo, I mean I just didn't know who to vote for. Hanataro, you want to go off the island, just thought I'd help."

He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Hanataro is next. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Renji, I will have nightmares for the rest of my life thanks to you. Die a horrible death."

He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Ichigo was the last to cast his vote. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"I hate you Renji."

He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. "I'll read out the votes." Aizen then walks over to the pot, grabs the pot and starts counting the votes. "Once you are voted off, bring me your torch and prepare to go airborne." This comment causes the V-Chip to electrocute him again, making him yelp. The tribe tries their best not to laugh at this. Aizen frowns as he then digs around and pulls out the first card. "Renji. One vote Renji."

…two…

"Renji. Two votes Renji"

…three…

"Ichigo and Hanataro"

…four…

"Renji. Three votes Renji."

…five…

"Renji. Four votes Renji."

…six…

"Renji. Five votes Renji." Aizen sighs as he looks into the pot. "Oh look at that, somebody voted twice. Do I really have to read them all?"

There is a universal _YES_ from the Shinigami Tribe and Aizen groans. He's really starting to hate this job. Renji is beginning to look a tad bit nervous. Our host then pulls out the next card.

"Renji. Six votes Renji."

…last card…

"Momo…huh?" Aizen turns the card a bit and sighs heavily. "Ninth person voted out of Survivor…Hinamori Momo."

Momo gets to her feet and picks up her torch. She actually looks pretty happy about the whole situation. Everyone else is slightly confused.

"Wait a minute, how did Momo get voted off?! Renji got like six votes!" Yoruichi is a tad bit upset.

Aizen holds up the last card he pulled from the jar. In nice neat letters is the name _Momo X 7_. Apparently Momo was betting on everyone else voting for Renji and then just voted for herself seven times. She really cut it close when you think that Yoruichi voted three times.

Momo puts her torch down in front of Aizen, still smiling. "Momo, tribe has spoken. Well, maybe only you have spoken. Whatever." He puts the torch out with his ladle and then reaches to throw her over the railing. However before he can, she takes a running jump and throws herself over the railing. Aizen rolls his eyes and heads off to get drunk or something. Oh well, at least Momo save him from getting electrocuted by his V-Chip again. The rest of the tribe head back to camp, looking irate and miserable. All except Renji, who looks a tad bit pissed off…

* * *

**In the Tree…**

"Incoming!" Haruhi shouts, swinging to a different branch.

Everyone scrambles to move as another helpless tribe member falls into the tree. Momo bounces off several branches before landing right on top of Toshiro. She smiles and gives everyone a little wave.

"Hello there."

"You certainly sound perky for someone who just got tossed off the island." Byakuya says, helping Haruhi scramble down to the lower branches.

"I certainly do. You see I voted myself off." She smiled again as she hugs Toshiro tighter. Toshiro tries to breathe from Momo's hug. "I call it revenge for everyone ignoring me. They all voted for Renji cause of the whole thong thing, but now they are still stuck with him!"

Everyone in the tree shudders a bit, they vividly recall the whole thong incident. They got a really good look at it from in the tree. Szayel and Hisagi still hadn't recovered from the shock. Hisagi had fallen into a comatose state while Szayel had reverted to the mental age of six and insisted on calling Haruhi _Mommy _and Byakuya _Daddy. _All in all things were not looking up for the former contestants in the tree, although they did escape having Renji in the tree with them…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Yup, another immunity challenge…_

_It FINALLY stops raining…_

_Grimmjow gets a bit…manly…_

_Someone gets the 'Keigo Asano' syndrome…_

_Alliances shift…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Yoruichi: Renji/Renji/Renji_

_Rukia: Renji_

_Momo: Momo/Momo/Momo/Momo/Momo/Momo/Momo (Seven votes in one card)_

_Renji: Ichigo/Hanataro_

_Hanataro: Renji_

_Ichigo: Renji_

Ryo: Yeah. I know. Sorry Hinamori Momo fans. But seriously, Momo herself REALLY does want to get herself eliminate…


	20. Gladiator

**_Chapter 20: Gladiator_**

**Shinigami Tribe…**

Everyone returns to camp, looking far more miserable than usual. Each member is acutely aware just how close they had come to getting rid of Renji and the crushing blow that Momo delivered with her vote is just depressing them further. Renji, on the other hand, is extremely pissed off at the vote. He corners Yoruichi in a nearby stand of trees.

"I can't believe you voted for me!" Renji snapped.

"No less than three times too." Yoruichi sighs, pushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. "Momo really surprised us with that whole _X 7_ thing."

"That is not the point." Renji growls, growing more ticked off with each passing second. "We had an alliance!"

"Then I suppose you can now consider it terminated."

Yoruichi smiles brightly, pats Renji on the head, and skips back to camp. Renji stands in the trees wide eyed and mouth hanging open. Apparently he wasn't expecting that development. Meanwhile Hanataro decides to take a chance and opens negations with Yoruichi about a possible alliance…

* * *

**Soul Tribe…The next morning….**

Ulquiorra and Inoue are no where to be seen, but that is pretty much normal these days. I mean, everyone knows what they're up to and where they might be. It's just that no one wants to see it with their own eyes and risk possible blindness. Soi Fon and Gin are sitting near the fire, discussing God knows what. More than likely Gin is giving her more fashion tips. Grimmjow and Urahara have gone fishing and also talks to each other about something stupid again. Yeah, things are normal for the Soul Tribe as usual...

* * *

**On the Beach…**

Aizen seems to be in a much better mood than the day before. Maybe it's because the rain has finally stopped or maybe it was because of the way the tribal council had gone. Though in all honesty it is probably because the doctors finally removed the damn annoying V-Chip from Aizen's neck. Now he can finally do evil things and stuff again.

As Aizen smiled evilly, the two tribes stumbled onto the beach. All of them look relieved that it had quit raining and the beach was no longer flooded. Aizen smirked, because he knew exactly what was going to happen once he announced today's immunity challenge. In fact he was simply bubbling with evil and malicious glee. Scary when you think about it, ain't it?

"Ah, welcome to today's immunity challenge!" Aizen smiled brightly, scaring everyone within a thirty yard radius. "I bet everyone is excited!"

There was a mixture of moans, groans, swearing, whimpers, crying, and the sound of at least two people fainting. Aizen turned the smile up a notch, simply oozing evil glee.

"Today we have something really really special. First though, the Soul tribe has to pick someone to sit out the game."

There is a loud argument, followed by what looks like a fist fight. When the dust settles Ulquiorra stands the victor.

"Good luck trying to stay alive." Ulquiorra gives a little wave to the Soul Tribe and takes a position next to Aizen.

"Alrighty then, now that that has been decided. On to the immunity challenge."

Aizen leads the way across the beach to what looks to be some kind of large platform that greatly resembles one of those wire spools the electric company uses which just happens to be surrounded by a small pool of water about six feet deep. It's positioned about four feet off the ground and the large round platform on top is about eight feet around.

"I'm sure everyone is going to simply love this challenge. Two people are going to go up on the platform, one person from each tribe. Once up there the first person to be knocked off the platform loses and a point goes to the opposite tribe. First tribe to get six points wins immunity."

Aizen grinned rather evilly and the two tribes just knew they had more bad news on the way. Aizen was just eating it up. This whole angst and fear thing was a great boost to his morale.

"By the way, I get to choose who fights who…"

* * *

**Meanwhile, in the tree…**

Haruhi snapped awake from her nap in one of the overhead limbs. She lifted her head and rubbed her eyes trying to get a look at the beach. What had woken her up was a sound of such pitiful anguish and screaming that she thought maybe Aizen had finally killed someone in a rather messy way.

"Anyone know what's going on down there?" Haruhi yawned, stretching slightly. "Sounds like Aizie finally snapped or something."

"Not too sure at the moment." Byakuya was laying on a branch below, trying to get a look at the beach with the homemade binoculars. "I think it's just another immunity challenge."

"Really?"

Haruhi started to shimmy down to the lower branches when she felt something slither along her leg. Narrowing her eyes slightly she turned, and what she saw was a snake crawling on her leg. Haruhi screeched and fell off the limb, landing in Uryu's lap.

"Help! I got a bloody snake on my leg!" Haruhi screamed, trying to get the snake off her leg.

That simple statement caused all hell to break loose in the tree. Byakuya jumped down to the lower branches trying to help Haruhi. Rangiku retreated from Uryu and Haruhi, effectively trampling all over Chad and Tosen.

"Hey watch it!" Chad was a wee bit upset. "You stupid trollop!"

"Trollop? Oh you're going down!" Rangiku yelled.

Rangiku then jumped onto Chad and attempts to suffocate Chad by stuffing his face into her…um…breasts. Meanwhile Szayel was crying and pointing at Haruhi like a five year old and screaming that someone had to save his Mommy. Doesn't it just pull at your heartstrings? Toshiro, in an effort to help, grabbed Haruhi's gun and started trying to blast the snake. Not the brightest of ideas considering Haruhi was sitting on Uryu's lap, Byakuya was trying to the grab the snake, and the leech was currently attached to Haruhi's leg. Momo was doing her best to get away from the endless rounds of gunfire by hiding behind the still comatose Hisagi.

"Stop shooting you white haired dumbass!" Haruhi shouted, still trying to pry off the snake.

"Shut up! I'm helping!" Toshiro yelled.

A shot went wild, hitting Haruhi in the thigh and missing the snake by a good five inches.

"That is not helping!" Haruhi screamed.

* * *

**Back on the beach…**

Aizen's grin broadened as he listened to the screaming and the gunshots from the nearby tree. The two tribes on the other hand looked ready to either be sick or pass out, maybe both.

"Alrighty then, let's get this show on the road. Anything goes, it doesn't matter how you get them off as long as they go off." Aizen consulted his clipboard. "First up…Gin and Hanataro."

You could cut the silence with a knife as both contestants climbed onto the top of the arena. I mean really Gin and Hanataro…can you say slap fight?

"Um…I'll like beat you up!" Gin's voice was a tad shriller than usual. "Don't mess with me!"

"Oh please, you're a puff for Christ's sake."

And the war was on. Gin let out a horrendously loud screech and came running at Hanataro waving his arms wildly. Hanataro was so stunned by this stupid display he broke down laughing. Gin then jumped on Hanataro's back and proceeded to slap and scratch him. Hanataro could probably have broken away quite easily if not for the fact that he was laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face. In fact he stumbled and fell into the small pool of water below, leaving Gin panting and hissing on the platform.

"That's one point for the Soul tribe. Up next we have…Inoue and Renji." Aizen said.

The two adversaries climb onto the platform. Inoue smiled seductively, while Renji grinned like an idiot.

"Hey there lover." Inoue purred swinging her hips seductively as she walked over to him.

"Duh.." Renji said lovingly like a brain dead idiot.

Inoue smiled again while Renji did his best not to pass out from all the sex appeal dripping from Inoue. Inoue ran a finger down his cheek then planted her hand firmly in the center of his chest and gave him a push. Renji pin wheeled on the edge of the platform for a second then fell into the pool below. Inoue leaned over the edge, winked, and blew him a kiss. Renji, still smiling stupidly, just sort of sank into the pool. Good thing Hanataro was nearby or he would have drown.

"That's two for Soul, damn Renji that was pathetic. Next up…Yoruichi and Soi Fon."

The two women climbed to the top of the platform eyeing each other with hate and malice, just like what they both did before their climatic fight in Bleach episodes 56 and 57. Yeah, I just broke the fourth wall but who cares? Aizen cracked open a can of Mountain Dew, handed one to Ulquiorra, and waited for the show to start. This is going to be interesting since this will be Yoruichi and Soi Fon's second climatic fight.

"I hate to do this Yoruichi, but you simply aren't pretty enough to occupy the same space as myself." Soi Fon said with a smirk.

"Oh really?" Yoruichi asked, arching an eye brow while crossing her arms.

Soi Fon was totally oblivious to the hinted threat in Yoruichi's throat, the audience wasn't. Soi Fon smirked, pulled her dagger from behind her back and ran at Yoruichi like a crazed psychopath. Yoruichi, didn't do a damn thing, she just stood there inspecting the condition of her Shinigami buff. Then, just when Soi Fon was no more than two feet away, Yoruichi stepped nimbly aside. Soi Fon let out a bloodcurdling scream and fell face first into the water below.

"Ooo, Soi Fon dear, that was one hell of a belly flop." Yoruichi covered her mouth, giggling happily.

"Damn, that was so pathetic of you, Soi Fon. Anyways, that's one for Shinigami, two for Soul. Next up…Urahara and Rukia." Aizen said.

Urahara climbed onto the platform while Rukia climbed up on the opposite side, looking surprisingly optimistic. I mean Urahara could shoot electricity with Szayel's taser gun during the fight, what the hell did Rukia have to look so chipper about?

"We really need that immunity, Rukia." Urahara said. "Sorry."

"Now Urahara don't say sorry till you've won." Rukia said, grinning mischievously.

She then ripped her clothes off. Down on the ground, Ichigo let out a squeak of pure terror and hid behind Yoruichi. Rukia pulled the whip tight in her hands, the sun glinting off her black leather bra and panties.

"Bow down to me!" She snapped the whip. "HO HO HO HO HO!"

This causes Urahara to panic. He took off at a dead run, sprinting around the edge of the platform. Rukia was only a step or two behind, swinging the whip like an expert.

"Come back here and take your medicine!" Rukia yelled, sending a snap to Urahara's butt. "HO HO HO HO!"

This only caused Urahara to panic further and in a desperate attempt to get away, he dove off the platform. Rukia pouted slightly at the loss of her prey and stomped her foot in defeat.

"Two for Shinigami, two for Soul. Next up…Grimmjow and Ichigo." Aizen said.

The two men stepped onto the platform. Aizen, the contestants and the viewers at home can tell this will be yet another climatic fight between the heroic Ichigo and the malicious Grimmjow. These two rivals have always bear a grudge against each other and it's time for them to fight against each other yet again. Ichigo and Grimmjow eyed at each other with a look of contempt.

Then Grimmjow did something so weird it defies explanation. He ripped his jacket off.

"Ahhh!" Aizen quickly covered his eyes. "I've gone blind!"

Of course if Aizen had paid a little more attention he would have seen that Grimmjow was not naked. He was now showing off his muscular upper body and all he is wearing now is his black sash and white hakama. This, of course, causes the female viewers at home to drool in front of their televisions and his number of fangirls increased by 10 percent.

"Aizen-sama…" Ulquiorra tapped Aizen on the shoulder. "It's alright…he's just half naked."

"Oh, he still has clothes on?" Aizen peeked out between his fingers. "So he does."

Ichigo frowns and grits his teeth while Grimmjow cracked his neck and took up a rather mundane fighting stance.

"Come on ryoka boy, I'll kick your ass." Grimmjow said. Did Grimmjow actually sound…manly? For once in this fanfic? Why yes, yes he did.

Before Ichigo could react, Grimmjow rushed him, hitting him square in the stomach with an uppercut. Ichigo gasped and doubled over as every last bit of air was driven from his lungs. Grimmjow took a quick step back and delivered a roundhouse kick to Ichigo's jaw sending him flying though the air to land in the water below.

"Wow." Yoruichi whispered, staring as Grimmjow vaulted off the platform. "I want one."

"Well…err…" Aizen was completely loss for words, a new situation for him. "Two for Shinigami, three for Soul. Looks like it's back to the beginning. Gin, Hanataro get your asses back up there."

Gin climbed onto the platform looking particular proud of himself. In his mind, he'd severely trounced Hanataro the last time and by God he could do it again. Hanataro on the other hand, had a plan. Which of course didn't involve laughing this time around. Gin brandished his claws again and came running at Hanataro, full speed. Hanataro lowered his head and upper body, sliding his left foot back slightly.

Gin let out a rather high pitched, and somewhat pathetic, battle cry and leapt toward Hanataro. Hanataro shoved his shoulder forward, catching Gin in the stomach, and pushed upward. Gin went flying over Hanataro, whacked his head on the platform, and landed in the pool below.

"Where am I…" Gin stared around blankly as Soi Fon helped him out of the water. "Who am I?"

"Oh dear." Soi Fon sighed. "Don't worry honey."

"Do I know you?"

Soi Fon groaned. "Great...Gin has the Keigo Asano syndrome..." Poor Gin, completely lost his memory. Then again the way he acts, that might be a good thing.

"Damn." Yoruichi's eyes widened a bit and she turned to Rukia. "Hanataro's pretty hot, you know?"

"Yoruichi, you running a fever or something?" Rukia laid her hand on Yoruichi's forehead. "I mean first Grimmjow now your drooling over Hanataro?"

Why yes, yes she was…go figure. Aizen was just as surprised.

"Damn, the little idiot really can do something when he isn't cowering behind someone else." He cracked another Mountain Dew can and took a long draw off of it. "Three for Shinigami, three for Soul. Inoue, Renji, you guys are up again." Aizen said.

The two climbed to the top of the platform, but the fight was pretty much over before it began. Inoue did her little flouncey walk again. Renji drooled and mumbled some more. But this time Inoue pulled out her ultimate weapon, she kissed him. Renji turned seven shades of red and fainted, falling into the pool yet again.

"Pathetic." Aizen shook his head and handed Ulquiorra another can of Mountain Dew. "Three for Shinigami, Four for Soul. Yoruichi, Soi Fon."

The two women climbed onto the platform. Yoruichi smirked. If she can defeat Soi Fon earlier, then hell she can do it again. But this time, Soi Fon is ready. She gets ready to unleash her ultimate weapon…

Soi Fon removes her clothes, showing her bra and panties and starts belly dancing while singing in a high pitched voice.

Soi Fon: _**Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha, baby**_

This causes Yoruichi to widen her eyes in shock, nose bleed and faints, falling into the pool. This display also causes Aizen, Ulquiorra, the contestants and the viewers at home to nose bleed and faint as well.

After five minutes, everybody recovered and Aizen sighed, "Three for Shinigami, five for Soul. One more and Shinigami goes back to tribal council. Urahara, Rukia, hop up there."

Rukia and Urahara stepped onto the platform, but once again, the fight was pretty much over before it began. Rukia laughs maniacally as she pulls out her whip and swings it around again. This causes Urahara to immediately dive into the pool.

"Four for Shinigami, five for Soul. Grimmjow, Ichigo get up there." Aizen cracked open his third Mountain Dew can and glanced at Ulquiorra. "Hundred on Grimmjow."

"Fine. I bid Ichigo."

The two men eyed each other, like a couple of gladiators facing death. Ichigo had underestimated Grimmjow the last time, but he would not make the same mistake as before. Grimmjow cracked his neck like before and took up his fighting stance again. Ichigo smirked and held up…Grimmjow's penguin plush toy.

"Pingu!" All of Grimmjow's manliness was gone in a split second. "Don't hurt him!"

"Take a dive, or I will." Ichigo smirked evilly.

Grimmjow slowly nodded and dove off the platform. Ichigo gave a little whistle and tossed Grimmjow's penguin plushie down to him. Grimmjow hugged 'Pingu' like it was one of his children and climbed back toward the rest of his tribe mates. Ichigo was eternally grateful that Grimmjow had left his jacket on the platform, the damn plush toy had been hiding in the pocket.

"Haha!" Ulquiorra held out his hand toward Aizen. "Now pay up!"

"Ah fine, right." Aizen dug out a hundred dollar bill and handed it to him. "Grimmjow is always screwing shit up for me. Well now, that's five for Shinigami, five for Soul."

Aizen set his Mountain Dew down and slowly got to his feet. He had a really sadistic idea.

"Be right back."

* * *

**Meanwhile in the tree…**

Tosen finished bandaging Haruhi's leg. Luckily it was only a flesh wound. Toshiro was tied to one of the upper branches with Byakuya's jacket. He had to do something before Haruhi killed him for shooting her and for wasting what was left of the magnum ammo.

"Hey, up in the tree!"

Everyone's faces turned to see Aizen standing in the ankle deep water surrounding the tree.

"What do you want Aizie?" Haruhi asked, pulling herself to her feet.

"Oh nothing, Haruhi. I just need Toshiro and Momo to help me with an immunity challenge…"

* * *

**Back on the beach…**

Everyone stared as Toshiro and Momo came trudging up the beach behind Aizen. Aizen escorted them to the platform then took his customary seat, in his lawn chair with his Mountain Dew in hand.

"Alrighty then, it's five for Soul and five for Shinigami. This final bout will decide who gets the immunity." Aizen grinned evilly, sending a shiver down the spine of everyone present. "Tohsiro Hitsugaya is fighting for the Shinigami tribe and Hinamori Momo is fighting for the Soul tribe…hop to it kids!"

Toshiro and Momo stared at each other for a few seconds. This wasn't exactly what they'd been expecting. Apparently Aizen had lied to them about what they were supposed to do, something about hollows and some coconuts or something along those lines anyway.

"I can't hit my childhood friend." Toshiro shrugged sadly, spreading his arms open.

"Well, you'd better learn, or I'll have to whip your ass." Momo grinned, a malicious look indeed. Toshiro blanched slightly, maybe it would be a good idea to hit her after all. Aizen was eating the whole thing up. Pitting the two love birds against each other had to be one of his better sadistic plans, at least lately.

Momo charged at Toshiro…then tripped, fell past him, and hit the water with a loud splash. Aizen coughed, spitting up a huge gulp of Mountain Dew. Okay, he just hadn't expected that. Toshiro leaned over the side of the platform, looking worried. Momo grinned up at him and winked.

Now, one must remember that Toshiro Hitsugaya and Hinamori Momo ARE childhood friends since they are kids and they would never hurt each other and BOTH of them are sided with the Shinigami Tribe. Which side do YOU think Momo wanted to win the immunity?

"That was rather anti-climatic." Aizen sighed heavily and threw his coat to Rukia. "Soul Tribe, see you at tribal council. Toshiro, Momo, I need to have a word with you…"

The two tribes quickly scurried off the beach while Aizen went to have a word with his former lieutenant and former friend…

* * *

**Several hours later…**

Toshiro and Momo are back in the tree, nursing various bruises, broken bones, and cuts.

"Momo, did you really throw the match?" Toshiro asked.

"Of course." Momo smiles, then winces slightly at the pain it causes. "Like I'd really fight you. Plus it pisses Aizen off and that's always fun. Well, except for all the bruises and broken bones that is…" With that, both Toshiro and Momo smiled at each other and kiss passionately while Haruhi, Tosen, Szayel, Byakuya, Rangiku, Uryu and Chad turned their heads away and groan in disgust.

_**Next time on survivor…**_

_Who will be voted off?_

Ryo: Hope you guys enjoy the immunity challenge and the Hitsuhina scene! Who from the Soul tribe will be voted off?! Stay tune and read and review…


	21. Tenth Tribal Council

**_Chapter 21: Tenth Tribal Council_**

**Soul Tribe… **

The Soul Tribe trudged back to camp, their minds already turning to the tribal council later that evening. One of them would be taking the flying leap into the tree, a trip none of them really wanted to take. That meant that a lot of B.S.ing, lying, cheating, and double-crossing was in their near futures.

And so our intrepid cameraman once more braves the horror that is the Soul Tribe in order to complete his job and pick up the six figure paycheck we promised him. The first one he corners is Gin, who just happens to still be suffering from amnesia after that nasty fall off the platform earlier.

**(GIN ICHIMARU – Soul Tribe)**

"_Ah…well…that guy with the hat and black jacket and clogs is rather annoying." He scratches his head a bit. "But that orange haired chick, Orihime I think her name is, is just beyond annoying. She's also really bossy."_

The cameraman next corners Ulquiorra.

**(ULQUIORRA SCHIFFER – Soul Tribe)**

"_Since Gin is currently unaware of his surroundings it might be beneficial to eliminate Soi Fon from the game."_

The cameraman next corners Grimmjow. It should be noted than since removing his jacket and wandering around bare-shirted, his fan base has gone up by 50 and the show's ratings have jumped by 64.

**(GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES – Soul Tribe)**

"_Well I'm not too sure who to vote for. Ulquiorra and Inoue are still very annoying, what with that whole 'couple' thing going on. I still don't care much for Soi Fon." Grimmjow pats his penguin plush toy 'Pingu' while pondering the ramifications of this vote. "I'm just not sure."_

The camera returns to passive mode and finds Gin and Soi Fon sitting near the campfire discussing the future vote.

"Now Gin, that's you, who is it we don't like?" Soi Fon asked.

"Ulquiorra and Inoue?" Gin looks slightly confused.

"Very good." Soi Fon smiles happily and throws her arms around Gin's neck, and kisses him. "That's my good little snookems."

In an effort to keep this program viewable by the general public and pay our bills…here's a commercial!

* * *

**Commercial…**

"_Do you feel tired, irritable, rundown? Just don't have the energy to get up and slay those pesky hollows that have thus far eaten your husband, brother, and dog? We have the solution for you…Adravil."_

"_Adravil will give you that extra boost of energy everyone needs when dealing with Hollows. Not only that but Adravil has been recommended by nine out of ten soul reapers."_

"_Trust a name you know, trust Adravil. Brought to you by Gotei 13."_

"_Gotei 13, always making the world peaceful every day."_

_Disclaimer: Side effects of Adravil include…stomach cramps, vomiting, and body spasms. Adravil should not be taken if you are currently under a doctor's care for Seizures or heart attack._

**END OF COMMERCIAL**

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen looks particularly happy about this particular tribal council. This could be attributed to the fact that he simply adores suffering of any kind, but we're pretty sure that isn't the case this time around. We're positive it has something to do with what happens _after_ the tribal council. No, not him being able to throw someone into the tree, although he does enjoy that immensely. No, his happiness is directly linked to what will soon turn the Survivor game upside down. However, we can't reveal that secret now, you'll have to wait until the next episode. Yes, we're sadistic bastards. Why do you think we hired Sosuke Aizen in the first place?

So while Aizen contemplates the secret that will be taking place tomorrow morning, the Soul tribe walks in and quickly takes their seats. Aizen smiles happily. As stated many times before this is one of his favorite parts of the game. The agony, the suspense, the crushed hopes of some unlucky victim. It's enough to make a treacherous bastard cry with joy.

"Alright Soul Tribe, you know the drill. Who is going to take a trip to the tree? Cast your votes."

Gin is the first to vote. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Um, sorry Ulquiorra, Soi Fon told me you were evil. Nothing personal."

Gin takes his seat and Urahara is next to vote. It quickly writes out two names and holds up the card, both names are the same.

"Inoue. You are a sadistic bitch. I do not like you, I never will like you. Go away."

Urahara takes his seat and it's Grimmjow's turn. He writes out a name and holds up the card.

"Ulquiorra, the whole Inoue thing is just sick and wrong. Take your sick sexual fantasies somewhere else."

Grimmjow sits down and Soi Fon takes her turn. She writes out a single name and holds up the card.

"Ulquiorra, don't like you, never will. Go away."

She drops the card in the vase and takes her seat. Inoue is next. She scribbles out the same name, four times and holds up the card.

"As I've stated before there is only room enough on this island for one kind and caring person. And since Rangiku is out, then I'm now voting for you, Urahara. So Urahara, you have to go, you're cramping my style."

Inoue drops the card in the pot and takes her seat. Ulquiorra is the last to vote. He scribbles out a single name, five times, and holds up the card.

"Soi Fon, you have outlived your usefulness."

He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat.

"I'll read out the votes." Aizen said. He then retrieves the pot, puts the pot in front of the tribe and quickly counts the votes.

"In order to speed things along I'm just going to announce that Soi Fon is tonight's loser. So Soi Fon…you are the tenth person voted out of Survivor. Bring me your torch and don't even think about flouncing or shaking your booty at me, it won't work."

Soi Fon sighs heavily, kisses Gin goodbye, and takes her torch over to Aizen. "Soi Fon, tribe has spoken." Aizen said. He puts out the torch with his ladle, picks her up, and tosses her over the railing. There is the sound of breaking twigs and a very loud _OWWW_ then silence.

"Soul Tribe you may return to camp."

Aizen then breaks out into highly evil laughter as he thinks about the surprise tomorrow's episode will bring.

The laughter only causes the Soul Tribe to move out of the tribal council much faster…

* * *

**In the Tree…**

We find poor little battered and bruised Soi Fon tied to the same branch Toshiro was tied to before. It would appear that Soi Fon fell on Haruhi's injured leg when she was thrown into the tree and that Haruhi's retribution was swift and incredibly violent. This display of a very Aizen-like reaction has caused the others in the tree, with the exception of Szayel who is still calling her Mommy and Byakuya who now finds himself even more in love with her, to stay far from Aizen's niece.

_**Next Time On Survivor…**_

_I change the rules of the game…_

_An immunity challenge…_

_More pain and suffering for our contestants…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Gin: Ulquiorra_

_Urahara: Inoue/Inoue_

_Grimmjow: Ulquiorra_

_Soi Fon: Ulquiorra_

_Inoue: Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara_

_Ulquiorra: Soi Fon/Soi Fon/Soi Fon/Soi Fon/Soi Fon_

Ryo: That's right guys, stay tune for the next chapter because there's now going to be a little twist to the show.


	22. Las Noches Tribe

Ryo: (Sniffs) I just want to thank everybody for reviewing this story. And guess what? It reached more than 100 reviews! I'm so happy I can't believe it! And the 100th reviewer was...**Beyond Flight**! So Beyond Flight...have some cookies! Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

_**Chapter 22: The Las Noches Tribe**_

**The Next Day…On the Beach…**

Aizen stands in the middle of the beach, looking particularly evil this fine morning. Why, may you ask are we now looking at Aizen instead of the Soul Tribe? The answer is incredibly simple…we're trying to save money by employing less cameramen. Anyway, back to the reason Aizen is looking particularly evil this fine morning.

It could be because the rather nasty immunity challenge he has cooked up, but it isn't. No, it's because we have finally come to the episode where we turn the rules upside down on the contestants. Where we make surviving and winning that million dollars that much harder to accomplish. Hence the reason Aizen has just broke into a rather frightening fit of evil laughter.

The intrepid survivalists of the Soul and Shinigami tribes wander onto the beach, looking rather pissed off and tired. Neither tribe looks very happy to see Aizen enjoying himself, especially since the immunity challenge hasn't even started yet. This leads to a few of the tribe members to faint, namely Hanataro and Gin. After a few moments, Aizen finally regains control of himself and clears his throat.

"Good morning everyone. I have a special surprise for you fine people today." Aizen smiled.

"You're going to let us go back to camp without subjecting us to some horrible immunity challenge where one or all of us could be injured, maimed, and/or killed?" Grimmjow said with a frown.

Everyone stares at Grimmjow for a few seconds. It wasn't really the fact of what he said that is eliciting such a response, it was the fact that he actually didn't sound like a fluff when he said it. Maybe there was more to losing that jacket yesterday then met the eye. Could Grimmjow actually have found his masculine side for the first time in this fanfic?

Aizen shook his head, quickly getting over the shock.

"No. Everyone remove their buffs and throw them over here by me."

There is a brief silence then twenty buffs comes flying at Aizen. Three hit him in the head and probably would have done no damage had rocks not been wrapped in them, not to mention the fact that they were thrown pretty hard. It would probably be beneficial to the audience to know that **EVERY** buff thrown at our evil, and sometimes misunderstood, host hand a rock wrapped in it. It should also be noted that every buff hit our poor, yet incredibly insensitive, host.

Aizen shook his head a bit, trying to recover from the stoning our survivors have just inflicted upon him. In the meantime, the survivors are laughing and having a good time about the whole incident. The survivors in the tree also seem to find the incident amusing and happen to be laughing the loudest. Aizen, on the other hand, is not amused. Not only will he have a couple black eyes tomorrow, but his coat also got crumpled and torn by the hits of the rocks. Pissed off does not really describe how angry Aizen is at this moment in time. However, his contract does state that he cannot outright kill the contestants, so he has to hope the immunity challenge will do it for him.

"You people are going to regret that." Aizen grinned as the laughter, except from the tree, died off. "Now then in the two pots before you are your new buffs, put them on."

The two tribes look around, but cannot seem to find the pots to which Aizen is referring to. Seconds later two crewmen run onto the beach, drop off two black pots, and scurry off camera. Tough finding good help these days, don't you agree? Anyway, the two tribes roll their eyes and dig out their new buffs.

"What in the flying _**beeping**_ hell are these supposed to be?" Ichigo asked in confusion. He was not the only one, wondering what the hell these new buffs were supposed to represent. They were also wondering why all the buffs were exactly the same. Each one was red and had _Sosuke Aizen for Supreme World Leader_ written on them in white lettering. Somehow the survivors knew this just did not bode well for them.

"Well it is very simple Ichigo. There will no longer be a Soul Tribe or a Shinigami Tribe. You ten survivors now make up the Las Noches tribe."

Aizen then proceeded to laugh in a very maniacal way while the survivors stared at one another in shock and dismay. If they were now one single tribe that meant that immunity was cast into a whole new meaning. Only one of these ten people would walk off this beach with immunity.

"Ah yes, this is grand. Only **ONE** of you can gain immunity." Aizen giggled a bit. "I find the whole situation most beneficial to my state of mind. Now onto the immunity challenge!"

The ten survivors stared at each other for a few seconds, then sighed heavily, donned their new buffs, and followed Aizen across the beach where the immunity challenge was set up. It looked eerily like the immunity challenge involving the 'hollow wrangling' several episodes back, except this time there was ten corrals and each one was neatly labeled with a survivor's name.

"Now then everyone. This is very, very easy. It's almost exactly like the hollow wrangling you people did several episodes back. The first person to wrangle two of the little buggers into their corral wins the immunity." Aizen grinned and walked over to a rather large cage with a tarp over it. "There is one little catch…"

Aizen ripped the tarp of the cage and the entire cast and crew of Survivor gasped in shock. _One little catch_, was an understatement. Instead of hollows, the survivors faced the difficult task of rounding up…Menos. Even the folks in the tree seemed a bit fearful of this new challenge, mostly due to the fact that they knew the Menos would eventually wind up stalking them beneath the tree and they were out of bullets.

"Use any means necessary. They have to be alive and in one piece…GO!"

Aizen threw open the cage door and quickly moved a safe distance away, to his Mountain Dew and lawn chair. He cracked open a can and waited for the screaming to start, and it didn't take long.

And it was pandemonium. The Menos immediately took off after anything that moved, making it rather difficult to round them up. Hanataro and Gin immediately took off to running around in circles like a couple of idiots, while screaming in high pitched voices, and flailing their arms around wildly. Rukia freaked out for about a full minute before breaking out the whip and leather outfit combo. Yoruichi ran past Renji, giving him a shove into the ground for good measure, and headed for Ulquiorra. Renji, thanks to the shove from Yoruichi, was desperately trying to keep a Menos from eating his foot off. Inoue uses her Koten Zanshun technique and attempts to chase a Menos toward her corral. Ulquiorra was having a wrestling match with one of the Menos and appeared to be winning. Ichigo had somehow wound up on the back of another Menos and was trying desperately to steer it toward his corral.

"That's one for Grimmjow and Urahara." Aizen cracked another can of Mountain Dew, thoroughly enjoying the show. "You guys better hurry now!"

It was true that Grimmjow and Urahara had both managed to corral a Menos. Urahara's Menos looked a bit the worse for wear, covered in electrical burns, (Thanks to Szayel's taser gun) and Grimmjow's Menos was crying in pain since his body is entirely pierced with Grimmjow's darts.

Meanwhile, Yoruichi somehow managed to lure a Menos into her corral using the unconscious Renji as bait. Poor guy passed out from blood loss. Inoue finally got her Menos into her corral. Gin was still running around like an idiot on crack. Ichigo and his Menos seem to have taken off into the jungle, he might be gone a while. Rukia seems to have lost interest in getting her Menos to the corral and is now bent on beating it into submission. Ulquiorra was still in the middle of a wrestling match with his chosen prey and from the look of things, now losing. Then something, so incredibly outrageous it could only happen on Reality TV, happened. Hanataro ran right straight into his corral, face first into one of the posts, and knocked himself out. Now this would not be so outrageous if not for the fact that two Menos followed him into the corral, winning him the immunity.

"Ok, that was a new one." Aizen pulled himself out of the chair and approached the fallen Hanataro, careful not to get too close to the loosed Menos. "Okay, Hanataro Yamada, you win the immunity."

Hanataro stumbled to his feet, looking a bit dizzy. Aizen handed him Hinamori Momo's lieutenant armband. Yeah, the producers still lost their immunity totem so Hinamori Momo was kind enough to voluntarily give her armband to the producers, allowing them to use it as the immunity totem.

"I'll see you all tonight at tribal council. By the way here's the map to your new camp site." Aizen threw the map and Yoruichi quickly catches it and trudged off toward their new home, with a very dazed Hanataro and the rest of the tribe stumbling along behind. Aizen grinned again and moved off camera, probably to cause some mayhem to a crew member or something…

* * *

**In the Tree…**

"I'm really starting to hate your uncle." Rangiku grumbled, staring at the three Menos prowling below the tree.

"You and me both." Haruhi glared at Toshiro. "If _someone_ hadn't wasted all my ammo I could have fixed this problem."

"I was just trying to help!" Toshiro was really pissed off and extremely uncomfortable at this point in time. "I should have let it eat you, you ditzy schoolgirl!"

There is exactly five seconds of silence before Haruhi totally loses her temper and attempts to skin Toshiro alive with her knife. It takes the combined efforts of Tosen, Hisagi and Byakuya to keep Haruhi pinned down. Hinamori (now without her Vice-Captain armband) and Szayel sighed and shook their heads.

* * *

**Somewhere in the Jungle…**

Ichigo has finally reached an agreement with his Menos. Of course this is only after a two hour ride through some bramble bushes, through a piranha filled river, and finally falling into a small ravine. Ichigo is just not having a good day and he has the bloody wounds to prove it.

Now all he has to do is figure out where the hell he is.

"I hate this show…"

* * *

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who has to go?_

Ryo: And there you go, the two tribes are now united and the immunity challenges are now crazier and Momo's armband is now the immunity totem. Stay tune and read and review!

And remember…

_**The ten remaining survivors and members of the Las Noches Tribe:**_

_Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Inoue, Gin, Urahara, Hanataro, Ichigo, Rukia, Yoruichi, Renji_


	23. Eleventh Tribal Council

**_Chapter 23: Eleventh Tribal Council_**

**Back at Camp…**

After getting lost no less than three times the contestants finally locate their new camp. They are not thrilled. Since it is a whole new camp site, they must start from scratch, fire and everything. Not to mention they have to decide who is next to get voted off. This premise is not helped by the fact that both tribes have been combined and that the heroic Shinigamis are now reunited with the evil members of the Espada. Though, in all honesty the so called _heroes_ have been acting quite a bit like villains as of late.

And so our new cameraman, the last one is in a _rest home_ recovering from a nervous breakdown. Our insurance rates are going to sky rocket thanks to this season. Anyway, our cameraman corners various tribe members in order to listen to them piss, moan, and groan about the situation.

**(GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_This is just so unjust." Grimmjow pats 'Pingu', looking pretty pissed. "Me and Urahara manage to lead the challenge at first when we each brought a Menos into our corral, but that little dolt Hanataro still wins immunity in the end any dang ways! I hate this show…"_

The cameraman corners Hanataro next.

**(HANATARO YAMADA – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I can't be voted off!" Hanataro looks pretty happy at the moment, surprising since he has tried several times to vote himself off the island. "My clumsiness and general cowardice has paid off! Oh yea, the million is mine!"_

Hanataro soon loses his high spirits when it is pointed out, by the cameraman, that the immunity only lasts for one vote. This causes Hanataro to whimper slightly and move off into the trees to be alone. The cameraman, feeling very Aizen-like thanks to crushing Hanataro's tiny backbone, next corners Gin.

**(GIN ICHIMARU – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I have no __**beeping**__ clue where I am, or what the hell I'm supposed to be doing." Gin looks rather angry and somehow very manly, even in the bikini…scary. "Also…WHY THE __**BEEP **__AM I WEARING A BIKINI! I'm a __**beeping**__ man!"_

The cameraman then returns to passive mode, perhaps fearing that getting any more insight into our contestants' state of mind may cost him his life or his sanity, perhaps both. So the camera pans over the camp, observing our contestants as they try to build said camp. Things are not going well either, an argument has broken out…let's observe…

"_**Beep**_ you!" Renji growled, throwing a stick of wood. "I'm doing my best here, Princess!"

"How dare you talk to me like that!" Inoue screeched, throwing her own piece of wood. "I'm Orihime Inoue!"

"Whoopee for you, you arrogant twit! Everyone knows if it wasn't for your _boyfriend_ you'd have gotten voted off a long time ago!"

"Why you, you…you pineapple head!" Inoue is so mad, she's turning a bright shade of red and looks ready to burst into flames at the next opportune moment. "I have never been so insulted in all my life!"

"Wait, you're young yet."

The insults fly for a few more minutes before communications completely break down and a fist fight ensues. A few feet from this display, which everyone is ignoring, Yoruichi and Gin are deep in conversation.

"Let me get this straight. I had a crush on that orange-haired chick? And my name is Gin Ichimaru? And I'm one of the three shinigamis who betrays Soul Society and obeys Sosuke Aizen? And…I'm a fluff?" Gin said in confusion.

"That's about it Skippy." Yoruichi put the finishing touches on the canvas and pulled the rope taunt. "Alright, shelter at last."

"Wait." Gin quickly ties off his end of the rope. "What if I don't want to be a fluff?"

"Well I guess you have a fresh start since you lost your memory in the immunity challenge a couple days back. Although you did run around like a moron in the last immunity challenge." Yoruichi brushed a bit of hair out of her eyes. "We all thought you got your memory back or something."

"Not hardly." Gin looks deep in thought, when he suddenly snaps his fingers. "Yoruichi you're pretty tough, can you teach me not to be a fluff? Plus I need like an alliance here, or I'm screwed."

Yoruichi ponders the implications of such a venture for several seconds before answering.

"Sure."

Meanwhile the fist fight rages on and Ichigo's current whereabouts are unknown…

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen seems in unusually high spirits this fine evening, despite two black eyes, a torn coat, and various bruises from the stoning earlier. His rather chipper, yet equally evil, attitude certainly has to have something to do with tonight's vote. After all he has one more little surprise for the contestants of the show tonight, one more chance to cause them great emotional pain and suffering. Needless to say, given Aizen's unnaturally treacherous personality, he's enjoying his job quite a lot at the moment.

So as the tribe walks into the council area, looking majorly pissed off and tired, Aizen immediately breaks into a five minute evil laugh fest. This earns him more than a few dirty looks from the tribe members and countless death threats, though mumbled and a bit garbled as they are.

"You know, when he does shit like that…it scares me." Grimmjow says, shuddering a bit.

"Tell me about it." Yoruichi said, shuddering as well.

While Aizen is wrapping up his laughter, he notices that Inoue and Renji look like they both got run over by Mac trucks. Renji has his long crimson hair hanging freely, little wisps of smoke curling off his hair, a split lip, and a black eye. Inoue has numerous bruising around her neck and a gigantic bruise on her lower jaw. Aizen's evil smile brightens as he realizes the two must have gotten into a fight, apparently the new Las Noches tribe is just not getting along.

"Alright, time to cast your votes. But before that I have to ask if Hanataro would like to give up his immunity to someone else."

Hanataro frowns deeply at Aizen and sneered, "No _**beeping**_ way."

"Ok then." Aizen is a bit shocked at this display of anger, but also finds it amusing. "Now you can't vote for Hanataro, but everyone else is free game…have fun."

Rukia is the first to vote. She skips up to the pot, scribbles out the same name twice and holds up the card.

"I'm sorry Ichigo, but you're starting to outlive your usefulness. Well that and Grimmjow is kind of cute and he did beat you down like a little bitch a few days ago."

Rukia smiles happily and skips back to her seat. Urahara is next to vote. It quickly scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Ulquiorra, I'm sorry but I still don't like the whole _couple _thing with Inoue. Not to mention you could be a real pain in the ass in the immunity challenge department."

It drops the card in the pot and retakes his seat. Hanataro is the next to vote. He quickly scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"I'm sorry Urahara but you scare me. I mean practically everyone on the former Soul tribe scares me, with the exception of Gin, but you also creep me out. Sorry."

He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Renji is next to vote. He hastily scribbles out the same name three times and holds up the card.

"Inoue…I hate you…you broke like of my ribs! DIE BITCH DIE!"

Renji drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Inoue is the next to vote. She quickly scribbles out the same name six times and holds up the card.

"Renji…I hate you…you messed my hair! DIE BASTARD DIE!"

She then drops the card in the pot and takes her seat. Gin is next to vote. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Since I lost my memory I really don't know which one of you people I hate the most at the moment, but Urahara is just creeping me out so I have to vote for him."

Gin shrugs, drops the card in the pot, and takes his seat. Ulquiorra is next to vote. He scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Rukia, you and your whip are very scary. That is why I'm voting for you…even if you do look rather sexy in that black leather underwear combo…"

Ulquiorra blushes a bit, no really he did, and quickly takes his seat. Yoruichi votes next. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Grimmjow, you're creeping me out. It was ok when I didn't have to sleep in the same camp as you, but the situation has changed…sorry."

Just as Yoruichi returns to her seat, Ichigo finally shows up. Much to everyone's surprise and dismay he is still riding the Menos. In fact, Ichigo actually seems kind of fond of the damn thing. He gives the Menos a little pat on the nose and saunters over to vote. Hanataro has now passed out…

"I'm gonna vote for Grimmjow. No surprise. Because I still totally hate him and he's now getting in my nerves even more now that we are all in the same tribe. So sorry, dude."

Ichigo smiles and heads back to his pet Menos, who is idly chewing on Gin's shoulder. Aizen seems to be completely and utterly dumbfounded at this entire display and appears to have no clue as to what to do about it. Write this down folks, probably the only time you'll see Aizen this confused. So while Aizen stands in dazed confusion, Grimmjow heads up to vote. He scribbles out a name, just like everyone else, and holds up the card.

"I didn't know who to vote for so I decided to embarrass the host."

Grimmjow smiles, drops the card into the pot, and takes his seat. Aizen snaps out of his confusion and said to the tribe, "I'll read out the votes."

He rushes off to grab the voting pot, places it in front of the tribe and count the votes. "Alright, once the vote is read, the decision is final, and the one with the most votes, please bring me your torch." Aizen reaches in to grab the first card, then looks back at the survivors and smiles sadistically. "There is one teeny tiny thing I forgot to mention. Whoever is voted off from this tribal council goes on…The Jury. In the end _they _will be the ones deciding who wins the million dollars."

After relishing in various cursing, sobs, moans, groans, fainting spells, and various cases of nervous breakdowns, Aizen tallies the votes.

"Let's see here…Rukia, Urahara, Urahara, Ichigo, Ichigo, Inoue, Inoue, Inoue, Aizen, Grimmjow, Ren…_AIZEN_!"

Alright folks I was wrong…_YOU_ will be seeing Aizen exceptionally confused again, cause he is…right now…at this very moment.

Aizen flips back through the cards, until he comes to the one that had his name on it. He then stares at it for several seconds trying to figure out just what the hell went wrong with such a simple plan. All the survivors had to do was vote some poor shmuck off the island, was that really so difficult? Meanwhile the tribe members have broke down into giggles. Even the folks in the tree seem amused…

* * *

**In the Tree…**

"Can they really vote Aizen off?" Chad has just voiced the same question everyone else is wanting to know the answer to.

"I…uh…I don't know." Byakuya shrugs. "Did they ever specify he couldn't be voted for?"

"Well no." Momo looks as confused as Aizen at this point. "I think everyone just took it for granted that he couldn't be voted off."

"I wouldn't think he could be voted for, he is the host." Hisagi shrugged. "Then again the way this show goes…"

"You can't vote Aizie off."

Everyone turns to look at Haruhi, who has a rather large book in her hand and Szayel's head in her lap. Bear in mind he still thinks Haruhi is his Mommy…sad isn't it?

"How do you know?" Chad leans over a bit trying to look at the book Haruhi is holding. "What is that you're reading anyway?"

"It's the rulebook for Survivor. Szayel had it. According to _paragraph C of section 18, page 145_ you cannot be voted off the island if you are a member of the Survivor staff."

"But Aizen works for the Espada." Rangiku is also leaning over to look at the book, while Tosen is taking notes. "So that rule doesn't apply to him."

"Guest hosts are covered in section 24." Haruhi sighs deeply. "So he can't be voted off."

The morale of the tree drops several levels at this news. Meanwhile…

* * *

**Back at Tribal Council…**

After getting over the initial shock of discovering some ignorant and potentially dead, should he ever get his hands on them, person had voted for him, Aizen quickly reads over the remaining votes.

"YES!" Aizen did a little jiggy dance, scaring everyone present. "Will the pink thong wearing Vice-Captain of the sixth division…COME ON DOWN…you're the next contestant on…Being Thrown Into the Tree!"

Despite the fact that everyone thought Aizen had now completely snapped, they were overjoyed to know that Renji would no longer be living among them. Hanataro actually broke down crying. Everyone in the tree was crying as well, but for a whole other reason. None of them wanted the thong wearing shinigami anywhere near them.

Renji grabbed his torch and walked toward Aizen, mumbling various obscenities under his breath. "Renji, tribe has spoken." Aizen puts out the torch, grabbed Renji by the neck, and was just getting ready to throw him when one of the producers came running into camera range. This would be the same female producer that called Aizen a _brown-haired bimbo_ several episodes back.

"You can't throw him into the tree!"

"Why not?" Aizen was still holding Renji off the ground by the throat…it should be mentioned Renji is turning a bit blue at the moment. "We always throw the morons voted off into the tree."

"But he's on the Jury you dimwitted brunette!"

"ca…can't…bre…bre…breath..." Renji gagged, smacking Aizen on the arm.

"Don't call me a dimwitted brunette!" Aizen was still choking Renji and completely ignoring him. "My damn hair isn't even brown at this point, you idiot!"

"So, what, you're just a dimwit now!"

"…air…" Renji is now very limply smacking at Aizen's arm…

"Look here missy." Still ignoring the fact he's killing Renji. "I'm a bit tired of you insulting me…that is not in my contract!"

Meanwhile…

* * *

**Back in the Tree…**

"Holy shit!" Uryu was just above the branch where Soi Fon was tied to, looking through the binoculars. "Um…I know you guys don't want Renji down here but if we don't do something, Aizen is going to choke him to death while he argues with the Producer."

The team of former survivors spring into action…um…sort of anyway. Byakuya climbs up to take a look at what's going on, Szayel continues his nap, and everyone else starts making bets to see how long Renji can hang onto his life. It's sad when heroes go bad isn't it?

"You know if we still had ammo for Haruhi's magnum we could possibly save his life." Tosen is busy taking notes, he seems to do that a lot. "Of course that's providing we _wanted_ to save his life."

"Oh shut up!" Toshiro is pissed again, go figure. "I'm really sick of you guys bringing that up!"

"Toshiro…just die or something." It's the first productive thing Soi Fon has said since getting thrown into the tree. "You keep yelling and Haruhi is just going to try to kill you again."

While Toshiro glares at Soi Fon and everyone else starts making odds on Renji' imminent demise, even Byakuya and Uryu have gotten in on the action, Haruhi takes matters into her own hands and starts rifling through Szayel's tank top. I mean Szayel did kept a taser gun under his tank top, so he must have stored other weapons inside it as well, right?

She finally comes across two things that might help, a slingshot and a mouse. However, Haruhi is in for a rather large surprise…

"Oh…hello."

Haruhi holds the mouse by the tail and stares at it. Did the mouse just…talked to her?

"Oh man…I…uh…oh man." The mouse said. While Haruhi continues to stammer, everyone else turns to see just what the hell she's been smoking. "Um, could you maybe not hold me by the tail, that kind of hurts."

There is an audible _clunk_ as every jaw in the tree hits the ground below. These people had seen practically everything, but a talking mouse was a new one on them. Haruhi slowly nodded and set the mouse in one cupped hand.

"Thank you." The mouse dipped his head a bit, maybe out of politeness I mean it's a freaking talking mouse! "That really bothers my back being held like that."

"Ok, maybe I did smoke some crack back at the SOS Bridage." Haruhi shakes her head. "Who are you and how the hell can you talk?"

"I'm D.I.J. but you can call me Sparky." The mouse…err…Sparky dipped his head again. "I kind of eaten some Soul Candy that was stored inside Szayel's tank top and now I can talk."

Everybody stared at the mouse for a few seconds, until Haruhi coughed and spoke up. "Look Sparky, we have to save someone up there and Aizie is scared of mice." She sounded pretty calm for someone talking to a mouse. "Could we maybe slingshot you past his nose?"

"Ordinarily, I'd be more than happy to help, but I get airsick. Could you use the other mouse Szayel has in his tank top?"

Haruhi rolled her eyes, but dug around in Szayel's tank top again and finally came up with another mouse. Thankfully this one didn't talk. Yeah, I know, isn't that amazing?Szayel sure put a lot of interesting stuff inside his tank top. I mean…a taser gun, two mice, Soul Candy, a slingshot, damn, what else does he have? Anyways, Haruhi then shoved Sparky onto her shoulder, pushed herself to her feet, _loaded_ the spare mouse into the slingshot, sighted in, and let her rip…

* * *

**Back at the Tribal Council…**

Everyone present was starting to get the feeling that they wouldn't have to worry about Renji being on the Jury. They were currently taking bets on just how much longer he was going to last. Hell the only reason they knew he was still alive is because he was kicking his feet back and forth trying to hit Aizen.

"We can have you replaced you know!" The Producer was really getting flustered now. "You are not indispensable!"

"I have an unbreakable contract!" Aizen smirked. "And further more…"

Then all hell broke loose…

The mouse went zipping past the Producer and hit Aizen in the side of the head. He glanced down, let out a blood curdling scream, and threw Renji straight in the air. He then proceeded to run around waving his arms wildly.

"SHIT!" Aizen screamed. Chorused the entire Las Noches tribe, who proceeded to dive out of Aizen's mad rampage of complete idiocy. The Producer, in the meantime, was having a breakdown of her own.

"AHHH…GET THE CRANE!" The Producer screamed. Without warning a large boom crane, with a rather large cage hanging off of it, swung into view. The operator somehow managed to catch Renji before he fell into the tree with everyone else. With that disaster averted the Producer bounded off camera to go do some paperwork or something. The survivors disappeared into the jungle, desperately trying to get away from the freaked out Aizen. The mouse fell off the platform and landed back in the tree. With the mouse threat gone, Aizen promptly passed out.

The show's ratings have gone up by thirty points…

* * *

**Back in the Tree…**

Szayel is still napping, there is an argument as to how to settle the bets since Renji survived. Though it appears everyone is overjoyed that he won't wind up in the tree. Haruhi is having a rather nice discussion with Sparky, who is still on her shoulder, about his brother, the mouse they slingshoted into Aizen's head who is now sitting on Byakuya's shoulder.

Just another day on the Island…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_More humor at the contestant's expense…_

_A haircut gone wrong…_

_Yet another immunity challenge…_

_Aizen meets a second cousin…scary…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Rukia: Ichigo/Ichigo_

_Urahara: Ulquiorra_

_Hanataro: Urahara_

_Renji: Inoue/ Inoue/ Inoue_

_Inoue: Renji/Renji/ Renji/ Renji/ Renji/ Renji_

_Gin: Urahara_

_Ulquiorra: Rukia_

_Yoruichi: Grimmjow_

_Ichigo: Grimmjow_

_Grimmjow: Aizen_

Ryo: Okay, yeah, I know that updates of this story are now getting slower. So please bear with me, alright? Also, yeah I know.Orihime Inoue is starting to becoming a bitch, isn't she?Stay tune and read and review!


	24. One Big Dysfunctional Family

_**Chapter 24: One Big Dysfunctional Family**_

**Las Noches Tribe… **

And so our happy survivors return to camp, though I must say they don't seem as happy as they should considering they just voted off the thong wearing lieutenant of the sixth division. A quick background check cleared up the whole Renji thing. Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand.

The Survivors are not as happy as they should be because they now know that anyone they vote off will wind up deciding who will win the million dollars. This means that all the scheming and plotting must be done in secret. Of course with this group you can be relatively sure that nothing will be kept a secret for more than five minutes.

"What do you mean you voted for me!" Ichigo looks completely and utterly astonished, can't say I blame him. "We are supposed to have an alliance!"

"Well who else was I going to vote for?" Rukia rolled her eyes. "Besides, you got your ass handed to you by Grimmjow and he's even cuter than you!"

While we hear the audible _clunk_ of Ichigo's jaw hitting the ground, Rukia spins around and saunters over to the campfire to join Grimmjow and Urahara. Incidentally, Rukia managed to keep her vote a secret for a full twenty minutes…

* * *

**On the Beach…**

Aizen seems to be a bit out of sorts this morning. It could be because he's still bruised up from the stoning yesterday, but it more than likely has something to do with the mouse incident at last night's tribal council. Next time he saw Haruhi, he would definitely have to have a little 'talk' with her about exposing family secrets.

The survivors stepped onto the beach to find Aizen deep in thought and forgoing his usual evil laugh fest. This only made them worry more than usual. They assumed that he was dreaming up new and painful ways of torturing them. Unknown to them, he was merely thinking up new and painful ways of torturing his niece. After another ten minutes of thought, Aizen finally spoke.

"What a beautiful day for an immunity challenge." Aizen said.

There were several mumblings about wanting to kill the host and someone even mentioned sending out for a hit man.

"Now, now, I'm sure everyone is simply going to love this immunity challenge." Aizen grinned evilly. "Now then, follow me."

* * *

**Meanwhile…in the dense foliage…**

A figure crept lightly through the undergrowth, following Aizen and the survivors toward the immunity challenge set up further down the beach. The figure kept himself hidden lest the cameras or their prey spot him. The figure in question appears to be brown haired teenage boy who wears a red tie, white shirt, tan jacket and grey pants. In his hands were an AK-47 rifle and a black notebook. Whatever he's hunting, he appears to be ready to kill it with extreme prejudice.

As the survivors on the beach come to a halt in front of a massive cage, at least twice the size of the sixth division training compounds, the man edges toward the beach…

* * *

**Meanwhile…in the tree…**

Byakuya edged a bit further out on the branch, trying to catch a glimpse of the figure hiding in the dense foliage near the beach. Below him, everyone else was having lunch.

"I'm getting sick of bananas." Chad moaned, peeling his snack. "Aren't there any bats or giant moths left?"

"Afraid not." Rangiku was busy peeling her own banana. "We ate the last of the moths two nights ago and the bats ran out four nights ago."

"Just eat the damn banana and be thankful." Uryu growled, wrestling with a coconut. "At least you can get into your dinner."

* * *

**Meanwhile…back on the beach…**

Aizen was finally starting to feel more like his evil self, now that the survivors had seen the newest immunity challenge. His evil joy was only going to escalate once they found out exactly what it was they had to do. All in all it was turning into a fine day for our host. Unfortunately that was about to change in roughly four seconds…

…_4..._

"Alright, you guys are simply going to love this."

…_3..._

The survivors glanced at one another, perhaps thinking that this would be the last time they would be seeing each other alive.

…_2..._

"Aw, come on, it's not going to be that bad." Aizen's grinned broadened. "Don't you trust me?"

…_1..._

Just as the entire tribe was about to collectively inform the host that NO they didn't trust him, a loud gunshot echoed across the beach. Everyone present froze like a deer in the headlights as three more shots echoed. Aizen was the first one to speak on the situation.

"Holy shit!"

Ok, now Aizen freaking out did nothing to help the contestants feel any better so what happened next was not exactly surprising. Everyone present took off running. Suddenly the sound of automatic fire filled the beach, which only made everyone on said beach panic further.

"Ack! Hold still you brown-haired bimbo!" A male voice shouted from the foliage. "How the hell am I supposed to shoot you?"

Gin let out a high pitched scream and dove behind a nearby boulder.

"I'm not trying to shoot you Gin!" The voice yelled, sounding rather sympathetic. "I'm trying to shoot Aizen damn it!"

Now this exceptionally loud proclamation caused the entire tribe to come to a skidding halt and turn their faces toward Aizen, who just happened to be hiding behind a boulder at the moment looking confused. The tribe members then looked at one another, perhaps trying to decide how best to assist the young man in the bushes with the demise of the host. However before they could come up with a proper plan, Aizen leapt from his hiding place and sped off toward the foliage.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KILL THE GREAT SOSUKE AIZEN OF THE ESPADA!" He screamed, diving into the dense shrubbery in pursuit of the elusive suspect. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

A few seconds later, a young man comes flying through the air and landed at Hanataro's feet. The man coughed a bit and lifted his head. There was an audible gasp from everyone assembled. The reason for this being that the young man is the main character of another popular anime.

The man was none other than Light Yagami from Death Note…

"Owww…" Light stumbled to his feet and brushed a bit of sand from the front of his jacket. "He can get so pissy sometimes."

Seconds later, as everyone stood looking confused, Aizen came crashing out of the brush.

"Light Yagami, you are so dead!"

"I'm confused." Hanataro spoke up.

"Me too. Why would Light Yagami of Death Note want to kill Aizen?" Yoruichi added.

"Well because..." Light said, turning to the tribe. "I _am _Aizen's nephew."

* * *

**Meanwhile in the Tree…**

"What did he just say?" Soi Fon asked, trying to get a better look at the beach. "Did he just say he was Aizen's nephew?"

"Yea, he did." Momo inches out a bit farther on her branch, also trying to get a better look at the beach. "How many cousins does he have anyway?"

"Haruhi, what…" Hisagi turns toward the branch where Haruhi was sitting, then does a double take. "Where the hell did she go?"

"I don't know, but Byakuya is gone too." Toshiro smirks. "Good riddance too!"

"My, things are becoming interesting." Tosen is busy taking notes…again. "I wonder what is going to happen next!"

Why don't we head back to beach to find out!

* * *

**Meanwhile, back on the beach…**

While everyone present stares at one another with looks of confusion, Haruhi and Byakuya show up. The looks of confusion get worse…

"Well, well, well…Light Yagami." Haruhi walks over to her brother. "Why the hell are you here?"

"Oh just trying to kill Aizen." Light smirks a bit. "What are you doing here?"

"I was invited." Haruhi crosses her arms. "And here I thought you came to see Yoruichi."

"Yoruichi!" Light looks around frantically. "Where!"

Haruhi points to Yoruichi, who just happens to be standing right behind Light. Light lets out a squeal of joy and throws his arms around Yoruichi's neck, making her yelp.

"My little snuggle cakes" He croons, kissing her while poor Yoruichi triews to get him off her. "It's you!"

"Argh! Get off of me, you freak! Get off!" Yoruichi screamed.

Can I just say that the looks of confusion have reached the point where trying to describe them would become impossible? Even Aizen has no idea what's going on. Though it seems that Haruhi certainly does.

"Haruhi, just who is this guy?" Byakuya looks from Light to Haruhi, then back again.

"Why the hell is he swooning over Yoruichi?" Ichigo asks.

"And why did he sound so sympathetic when Gin thought he was shooting at him?" Grimmjow asks.

"And why does he want to kill Aizen?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Is he a good guy or a bad guy?" Inoue asks.

"How did you get out of the tree?" Gin asks.

At this question everyone just sort of gives him a funny look. In the meantime Light continues to cover poor Yoruichi with kisses.

"I'll give you the short answer." Haruhi takes a deep breath. "His name is Light Yagami, who is also my brother. He swoons over Yoruichi because his favorite Bleach character is Yoruichi Shihouin and has a huge crush on her. He was sympathetic to Gin because he and Gin were both classmates back at Anime High School. He wants to kill Aizen because he betrays Hinamori Momo, who is also one of his favorite Bleach characters. And if you read the manga, Light is more of an anti-hero than a protagonist. So that means he's half good guy, half bad guy."

Haruhi finishes her speech panting. I mean damn that was a long thing to be saying on a single breath.

"That was the _short answer?_" Aizen shakes his head. "Whatever, just keep him occupied while I administer the immunity challenge."

There is a universal groan among the assembled survivors. I think they were hoping Aizen would forget about that, with everything going on.

"Now then everyone is going to climb into the cage. Last one standing wins immunity. Hanataro, I need Momo's armband back."

Hanataro whimpers as he hands Aizen the armband and it takes the combined efforts of Ichigo, Rukia, Byakuya, Haruhi and Ulquiorra to finally pull Light off of Yoruichi so she can proceed with the immunity challenge. Everyone lets out a long sigh and trudges into the cage. Aizen then locks the cage door, smiling evilly.

"Use any means necessary to stay alive and/or conscious. Oh and I forgot to mention the Hollows and Menos Grande that we are throwing into the cage as well."

As if on cue, because it is, a large crane drops a dozen pissed off Hollows and Menos Grande into the cage through the opening in the top. The top hatch is quickly closed and locked.

"Let the screaming begin!" Aizen yelled happily as he plops down in his lawn chair, grabbing a can of Mountain Dew and Byakuya somehow manage to restrain Light from running into the cage to defend his beloved Yoruichi, while in the meantime the contestants freak out.

"I'm going to die!" Hanataro screams trying to hide behind Yoruichi. "They're going to eat me!"

Yoruichi is busy having a fist fight with Inoue. Ulquiorra and Urahara are going at it like a couple of drunks. Grimmjow is currently beating the shit out of Ichigo, despite the assistance from Ichigo's pet Menos. Gin is running from both Rukia and two Hollows, that apparently like his perfume…creepy.

"That's it!" Rukia screams as she now rips off her clothes and goes to work on Gin with the whip. He is unconscious in three seconds. Light does not appear pleased with this outcome.

"Leave my school mate alone you _beeping beepedy beep BEEP!_"

Haruhi just rolls her eyes and continues to hold Light back. Byakuya is a bit freaked out at this point in time. Meanwhile Yoruichi finally gains the upper hand on Inoue and tosses the screaming woman into the path of five Menos Grandes. Orihime is unconscious within five seconds. Grimmjow delivers a well placed kick to Ichigo's jaw, which sends him flying into his Menos, the two of them then crash into Hanataro, and the entire little group crashes into the side of the cage. The three of them hit the ground unconscious. This leaves only Rukia, Ulquiorra, Yoruichi, Urahara and Grimmjow standing.

"AHHH!" Urahara lets out a blood curdling scream and reaches toward his head. "You ruined my hair!"

Indeed Ulquiorra had, how or why the arrancar was carrying a pair of scissors is probably a question better left unanswered. Outside the cage, Aizen is laughing his ass off at Urahara's misfortune. Now Urahar's hair looks like Shia LaBeouf's _Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull_ greaser hairstyle.

Back inside the cage, Rukia is reeking havoc with her whip. So far, she's knocked out three hollows, in addition to poor Gin, and now has her sights set on Yoruichi. Yoruichi takes off like a jack rabbit on crack and ducks behind Grimmjow. In the other corner, Urahara has completely lost his mind and is currently banging and unconscious Ulquiorra's head into the side of the cage.

"That will teach you to screw with my hair, you overgrown moron!" Urahara screamed.

Rukia does a flying leap over Grimmjow and brings her whip crashing down on Yoruichi's head.

"Pretty birdie…" Yoruichi stammers before hitting the ground. Light is now swearing to rip Rukia to shreds and eat her for injuring Yoruichi…or maybe at least just write her name on his Death Note.

"I cut her heart out with a spoon!" Light screeches.

Seizing the opportunity, Grimmjow clothes lines Rukia as she attempts to run toward Urahara. Rukia is out before she hits the ground.

"Oh that had to hurt." Aizen takes another swig of his Mountain Dew. "Only Grimmjow and Urahara left."

While Urahara is still busy beating up the already unconscious Ulquiorra, Grimmjow sneaks up behind him and bashes him in the head with Rukia's whip.

"Game over!" Aizen pulls himself out of his chair and unlocks the cage door. The remaining Hollows and Menos Grande, nine in all, rush out heading straight for Byakuya and Haruhi. Both of them glance at each other, release Light, and take off for the tree.

"RUN AWAY…RUN AWAY…RUN AWAY…" They scream in unison.

Aizen hands the armband to Grimmjow, then turns to deal with Light. However he has disappeared in the commotion. Somehow Aizen does not feel this is a good thing.

"I'll see everyone tonight at tribal council." Aizen then scuttles off looking for a place to lay low…

**Next Time on Survivor…**

_Who will be the next to be voted off?!_

Ryo: Looks like Grimmjow has the immunity. Where the hell is Light? And who will be the next to join Renji? Stay tune and read and review!

And yes, Light Yagami is from the anime Death Note.


	25. Twelfth Tribal Council

**Chapter 25: Twelfth Tribal Council**

**Las Noches Tribe…**

It took at least two hours for the survivors to get back to camp. The reasons for this were due to the various injuries received during the immunity challenge, being harassed by several Hollows and Menos Grandes, and having to drag an unconscious Ulquiorra back to camp. In fact, poor Inoue appears to have thrown her back out. Everyone else is nursing various wounds and bitching about the upcoming vote, except Urahara who may in fact be having a nervous breakdown about his hair…or lack thereof…

Yup, you guessed it. Our brave, and perhaps suicidal, cameraman heads into the danger zone to find out just what our survivors are thinking about. Of course what the survivors are thinking about usually involves the killing and/or maiming of some poor unfortunate teammate. Maybe they've been hanging out with Aizen a bit too long…

Anyway…

**(KISUKE URAHARA – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I'M GONNA KILL HIM, THEN TURN HIS BODY INTO FISH FOOD!" Urahara yells, running his fingers through his extremely short Shia LaBeouf haircut. "JUST LOOK WHAT THAT BIO-ENHANCED FREAK DID TO ME!"_

The cameraman vigorously nods his agreement, it helps that Urahara has him by the throat and is shaking him. So while Urahara abuses our poor cameraman let's switch to cameraman B, who has just cornered Ichigo.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Oh that little Rukia __**beep**__ is going down. Vote for me will she?"_

Ichigo then breaks down into sinister laughter, Aizen would be so proud. Cameraman B slinks off, lest he be injured like poor Cameraman A, and corners Hanataro.

**(HANATARO YAMADA – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Well I wanted to vote for myself, but Ulquiorra scares me with his emo look." Hanataro shrugs. "Oh well, mind as well vote for him anyways."_

Cameraman B then goes to passive mode, while paramedics try to revive Cameraman A. Meanwhile we spot Yoruichi and Gin deep in conversation.

"So my first step toward anti-fuffdom is to vote for Orihime?" Gin looks a tad confused, but hey that's normal for him.

"Indeed it is. Plus, is it kinda weird for you to pair with her anyways. I mean, Gin X Orihime? What kind of pairing is that? You should be pairing with Rangiku! Not her!"

"What?" Gin widens his eyes in realization. "Oh yeah! I remember now! Why the hell was I in love with that inoue bitch in the first place?! I should have been pairing with Rangiku!"

--

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen stands near the railing, looking unusually worried. In fact I'd say he looked downright paranoid. I suppose it could have something to do with all the Hollows and Menos Grandes running around the island but more than likely has something to do with the whereabouts of Light Yagami. Three of the show's private security guards have already died from heart attacks after they were sent out to locate him. Aizen knew that Light must have taken them down with his Death Note. And the stupid security guards shouldn't have worn their nametags before searching for Light in the first place! But it's a good thing that Light will not simply kill Aizen by writing his name in his Death Note. After all, he does want to see him suffer in a slow and painful way instead of an immediate death. Since then, due to the cost of insurance and workman's compensation, the show has decided not to pursue him and called in a detective who goes by the name of 'L' to go after him instead. Aizen has been rather paranoid ever since.

While Aizen's gaze searches the tree line for Light, the contestants show up. They cast wary glances at Aizen and take their seats. However Aizen is so intent upon his _Light Search, _that he doesn't even hear them arrive. Five minutes later, Aizen still hasn't figured out that they are there and several of the survivors are becoming a bit board. Finally Yoruichi, fed up with waiting, walks over and taps him on the shoulder. What happens next is so completely out of character for Aizen and hilarious we plan on selling the tapped material to _Worlds Funniest Videos._

"AHHH!"

Aizen jumps ten feet in the air, while screaming like a five year old girl on helium, spins around, and decks Yoruichi. Yoruichi goes flying through the air, hits Hanataro, who in turn hits Inoue, who in turn hits the barley conscious Ulquiorra, and the entire group hit's a nearby tree before tumbling to the beach below in a pile of broken and bruised body parts.

"Opps." Aizen turns a bright shade of crimson and slides off camera.

--

**In the Tree…**

"Mommy, look at the people fly!" Szayel jerks on Haruhi's uniform sleeve, pointing at the group of survivors that have just hit the tree. "Can I fly someday?"

"Uh…yea honey, now you watch the cute people." Haruhi turns back to Tosen and Rangiku pointing out several key points on a drawing. "Mommy's busy."

"Oh damn…that had to hurt." Soi Fon, finally released from being tied to the branches, cringes as the flying contestants hit the ground. "I think they are definitely going to need an Advil after that fall."

"No kidding." Uryu says.

The tree living survivors nod. Then return to what they have been doing for that last few hours…trying not to get eaten by the five Hollows and two Menos Grandes stalking them beneath the tree, oh and screaming of course.

--

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_--_

**Back at Tribal Council…**

Several packets of smelling salts later, Yoruichi, Hanataro, Ulquiorra and Inoue seem to be doing better. Well not counting the bruises and broken bones of course. Everyone is glaring at a severely red faced Aizen, who is still trying to keep up his evil appearance and failing miserably at it.

"Um…Grimmjow would you like to give away your immunity?"

"No." He snaps, petting his penguin plush toy 'Pingu'. "No way in hell, Aizen."

"Ok!" Aizen claps his hands together and attempts to smile cheerily. "Bring in the Cage!"

The steel cage from the last tribal council is dropped behind Aizen. Renji glances at the survivors while munching on a Double Cheeseburger from MacDonald's and reading a Bleach manga. He gives a little wave then returns to the part where Yammy is about to have his fight with Kisuke Urahara.

"Time to vote. Grimmjow cannot be voted for." Aizen forces another fake grin to his face. "Remember whoever is voted off goes on the Jury!"

Gin is the first to vote. He scribbles out a name, the same one five times, and holds up the card.

"Inoue, sorry, but I'm working on not being a fluff and you are an obstacle that must be overcome."

He smiles, drops the card in the pot, and takes his seat. Inoue votes next. She walks over, a bit hunched over thanks to re-injuring her back in the fall, and scribbles out the same name three times.

"Gin, this whole anti-fluffdom thing is just stupid. Plus you have sided with Yoruichi and that I cannot forgive."

She drops the card in the pot and retakes her seat. Ichigo is next. He walks over to the pot, Fluffy trailing behind him like a lost puppy. What kind of a name is Fluffy for a Menos, guy is starting to go fluff on us or something…

Anyway, Ichigo scribbles out the same name three times and holds up the card.

"Payback Rukia…payback…"

He then breaks out in evil laughter again and drops the card in the pot before returning to his seat. Aizen is quite impressed with the laughter, I might add. Not to mention it was made by his arch-enemy. Ulquiorra is next to vote. He staggers to the pot, writes out the same name five times, and holds up the card.

"You dare try to kill me, Urahara?! Therefore, you must die!"

Ulquiorra takes his seat and it's Yoruichi's turn. She drags one severely broken leg behind her. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"I want to go home…"

She drops the card in the pot and drags herself back to her seat, where she breaks down crying. Hanataro is next. He stumbles over to the pot and somehow manages to scribble out a name despite the fact his right arm has been fractured in six places.

"Ulquiorra...you sucked _beep_ with your retarded emo face. Get lost."

He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Urahara is up next. It scribbles out the same name six times and holds up the card.

"I HATE YOU ULQUIORRA, DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH AND MAY HUNGRY HOLLOWS EAT YOUR EYEBALLS AND ORGANS!"

Urahara drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Rukia is up next. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Hate you Ichigo."

She smiles rather sweetly and skips back to her seat. Grimmjow is the last one to vote. He swaggers up to the pot, scribbles out a name, and holds up the card.

"Like I said in the last few tribal councils, I still hate you for not killing Ichigo back at Karakura town. So Ulquiorra, get out of here and I hope you die a horrible death."

Grimmjow smiles and heads back to his seat.

"I'll read out the votes." Aizen said. He quickly collects the pot, places it in front of the tribe and counts out the votes. He turns a pasty shade of white and breaks out in a cold sweat when he realizes just who it is he has to throw into the cage.

"Tweflth person voted out of Survivor…Ulquiorra Schiffer…Ulquiorra, bring me your torch…"

_Due to the graphic nature of the following scene we are unable to allow you to view the images. We don't want to get sued by irate parents and/or government officials. Please be happy with the following dialogue…--_

Images of cute puppies and kittens playing together dances across the televisions of America with this for background:

_**THWACK!!!**_

Rukia: Damn…I didn't know an arm could bend that way…

Ulquiorra: Take this! AND THAT TOO! HO HO!

Aizen: Not the hair!

_**CRAAAAACK! Followed by… SWACK…followed by floppy fish noise…**_

Yoruichi: I think I'm going to be sick…

Hanataro: Ewe…

Aizen: That was my best Arrancar coat!

Ulquiorra: EAT MY CERO BLASTS! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

_**BOOM…BAM…WHAM…**_

Ichigo: Oh damn…that has got to hurt…

Gin: Uh…should that bone be sticking out like that?

Aizen: That's it, Ulquiorra. You're gonna get it now! HADO 90, KUROHITSUGI!

_**THWACK…BOOM…WHAP…CRUNCH…**_

Grimmjow: Damn! You sure twist those bones damn hard, Aizen!

Inoue: WHIP HIS ASS BABY!

Aizen: (coughing and wheezing)

Ulquiorra: (panting)

Urahara: WHIP HIS ASS AIZEN!

Ulquiorra: CERO!!!

Aizen: HADO 90, KUROHITSUGI!!!

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM……(An explosion as huge as the atomic bombing of the city of Hiroshima of 1945)**_

_Thank you for your cooperation, we now continue with the program already in progress--_

The survivors stare as paramedics cart off a moaning lump that used to be Aizen and the producers remove the cage containing a messy blood puddle that used to be Ulquiorra. The survivors then look at one another, shrug, and head back to camp…

**Next Time on Survivor…**

_Yup, another immunity challenge…_

_A hurricane is arriving…_

_Inoue finds a new 'boyfriend'…_

_We meet the winner of the 'Gotei 13 Home Extermination Sweepstakes'…_

_Stay tuned…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Gin: Inoue/Inoue/Inoue/Inoue/Inoue_

_Inoue: Gin/Gin/Gin_

_Ichigo: Rukia/Rukia/Rukia_

_Ulquiorra: Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara_

_Yoruichi: Yoruichi_

_Hanataro: Ulquiorra_

_Urahara: Ulquiorra/Ulquiorra/Ulquiorra/Ulquiorra/Ulquiorra/Ulquiorra_

_Rukia: Ichigo_

_Grimmjow: Ulquiorra_


	26. Tetsuzaemon Iba

Ryo: here's the next chapter. Also, I would like to apologize to everyone (including Beyond Flight) who hates IchiHime for this chapter. Why? Find out for yourselves…

_**Chapter 26: Tetsuzaemon Iba**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

The group limped back to camp. Everyone was in a particularly good mood, I mean there is nothing that will make a person happier than to watch a Treacherous Bastard get his butt kicked by Ulquiorra Schiffer. Ok, so maybe Orihime wasn't in that great a mood. I mean she did lose her boyfriend, but everyone else is happy.

In fact we currently find Orihime sitting by the fire crying. Everyone else is having a party with some of Aizen's stolen Mountain Dew cans. Everyone that is but Ichigo, who looks rather pissed off because of the fact that Rukia is currently flirting with Grimmjow while drinking a can of Mountain Dew. Damn, all of people, Rukia has to flirt with Ichigo's arch rival. Ichigo turned his head and noticed Orihime crying. In concern, Ichigo walked up to her.

"Come on Orihime, it's ok." Ichigo sat down next to Inoue and pokes the fire with a stick. "I'm sure you'll get along fine."

"I just miss him so much!"

Orihime then throws her arms around Ichigo's neck and continues crying. As Orihime cried on his shoulder, Ichigo made a warm smile and hugged her back passionately. Finally the whimpering subsides and Orihime lifts her head.

"You know, Ichigo. I did want to fall in love with you since we first arrive at the island…"

* * *

**Down on the Beach…**

The morning after the fight at Tribal Council finds Aizen in particularly bad shape. He has several rolls of bandages wrapped around his head. In fact you can only see little snips and snatches of his hair peeking out. His right arm is in a cast, reaching right up to his shoulder. Under that injured arm is a crutch. Why does he have a crutch you might be wondering? It's because his left leg is in a cast, broken in five places. His face is covered in bruises and band aides, his right eye covered by a large tapped on bandage and the final bit of medical equipment Aizen has on him is a neck brace. Our host looks like he just survived a car crash.

Needless to say, Aizen is not in the best of moods, in fact you could say he was in a rather sadistic mood. I suppose his mood isn't being helped by the fact that the weather has turned rather crappy. The sky is a dark gray and the wind has picked up blowing rather strongly. That would of course explain the truly sadistic and evil immunity challenge he has planned for the Las Noches tribe.

Speaking of the Las Noches Tribe…

The tribe wanders onto the beach, none of them looking the worse for wear. Even, Yoruichi, Ichigo and Inoue look to be in surprisingly good health, especially considering the injuries suffered last night. It would appear that Inoue is still able to heal her injured tribe mates and herself with her healing abilities despite her badly misshaped body. You just got to love Inoue and her healing powers you know, too bad Aizen didn't have any.

Anyway…

The sight of our injured host brings more than a few smiles and good feelings to the assembled tribe members, a couple of them are even laughing about it. That's going to change in about two seconds.

"Go ahead and laugh you little gnomes of uselessness." Aizen sneered, or attempted to anyway. "Wait till you see what I have in store for you today."

That immediately shut them up. Aizen grinned and hobbled down the beach toward the newest immunity challenge. The survivors shrugged and followed after him. When they arrived at the challenge area, they came to a dead halt, staring open mouthed, eyes as big as saucers. Several people whimpered, a couple prayed…two fainted. Aizen grinned like a cat with a fresh mouse to play with.

"As you can see my sadistic nature knows no bounds." Aizen smirked and barked out an evil laugh, which in turn caused a great amount of pain to his fractured ribs. "I'm hoping at least one of you die."

Ten feet of the beach was covered by a bed of hot coals. Near the water were several strings of razor wire. In the water itself the survivors could see sharks and salt water crocodiles swimming around. Beyond the ravaging beasts was a net and across the net, at least two miles off shore, was a man with sunglasses tied to a buoy screaming his head off, and a single skidoo.

"The object of the challenge is simple. Transverse the coals, go through the razor wire, avoid the ravaging beasts, climb over the net, swim out to the captured man, rescue him, bring him back on the skidoo, carry him back through the razor wire, over the hot coals, and set him on this pedestal." Aizen hooks a thumb over his shoulder to a large red and white pedestal behind him. "Only two rules. The man has to be carried from the water to the pedestal. He has to be breathing when you drop him on the pedestal. Any questions?"

Yoruichi raised her hand. "What poor unfortunate innocent did you kidnap for this sadistic immunity challenge?"

"Tetsuzaemon Iba." Aizen held out his hand for the immunity totem. "Fork it over Grimmjow."

Grimmjow reluctantly handed the armband over, while the rest of the tribe thought about the implications of kidnapping Tetsuzaemon Iba who is also the president of the Shinigami's Men Association. Most of them don't think it's that big a deal. However the opinion from the tree is a bit different…

* * *

**In the Tree…**

"THAT SADISTIC _BEEEP!_" Hisagi is hanging from one of the upper branches, the only thing keeping him from bailing out are Byakuya and Toshiro. "I'M GONNA RIP HIS _BEEPING _HEAD OFF!"

"Hisagi calm down." Toshiro is desperately trying to wrench Hisagi back into the tree. "I'm sure he'll be alright."

That does not calm Hisagi down and he continues to shout obscenities in the direction of Aizen and the other survivors. Tosen, Rangiku and Haruhi are ignoring this whole incident, opting instead to focus on a plan to get off the island and somehow avoid the hurricane Tosen thinks is headed in their direction. Everyone else is almost hoping Hisagi will fall and maybe occupy the Menos and Hollows that are still circling the tree, since he's almost useless in this fanfic anyways. Szayel is taking a nap…

* * *

**Back on the Beach…**

Aizen is taking more than a little pleasure in Hisagi's pain. "Ready?"

"NO!" Everyone yelled.

"Too bad…GO!"

Aizen hobbles to a nearby wheelchair, sipping on a Bahama Mama. The tribe looks at one another, not for the first time debating just how much each of them really wants that million dollars. I guess their greed, and probably the need to pay off some bills, finally wins out over common sense and the survivors take off…

"HOT…HOT…HOT…HOT…"

Gin screeches his way across the coals, hopping from one foot to the other. Inoue, Rukia, Yoruichi, and Grimmjow are running as fast as humanly possible, looks of pain clearly etched on their faces. Hanataro is making almost Matrix like leaps to get as far across the coals without actually having to touch them. Urahara is tiptoeing through the coals, in an almost Zen-like state. Ichigo has just learned a very powerful lesson about fire and alcohol based cologne…he's on fire…

Inoue is the first to dive through the razor wire and screams bloody murder as part of her hair gets hung up. Urahara doesn't seem to having much problem with his hair getting hung up, but it is rather tangled in the wire. Ichigo completely bypasses the wire by doing a flying leap into the water to put himself out. Yoruichi has grabbed Rukia, thrown her over the wire, and is climbing over her screaming and bleeding body toward the water. Hanataro and Grimmjow are crawling though the wire, sniveling and trying not to wig out even more than they already have. Gin has bypassed the wire by running around out, I'm not sure if that is allowed or not.

Beyond the wire, Ichigo is having issues with a large crocodile trying to gnaw his foot off. Inoue has finally reached the water and is trying to get past a rather large shark. Urahara has somehow found his way onto the back of another shark and is trying to direct him toward the net. Grimmjow shot his darts at the sharks and crocodiles to make them go the other way. Rukia and Yoruichi are trying to drown each other. Hanataro is having a rather vigorous fight with another crocodile and he's chewing on the poor animal's tail. Gin is having a nervous breakdown and the ravaging animals appear to be afraid of him…

Finally our survivors get over the net and now the real fun begins…

"Back off bitch!" Urahara screams, grabbing Grimmjow by the hair. "I need that immunity!"

"Kiss my ass you…you…you weird old man with hat and clogs!" Grimmjow yells, biting Urahara's arm.

"Die you sadistic bimbo!" Yoruichi is trying to strangle Rukia with her own whip.

"That's for going to Yoruichi's side!" Inoue is repeatedly punching Gin in the face.

"Who's the tough guy now?!" Hanataro has snapped and is trying to drown Ichigo. "Huh? Who is it?! WHO IS IT?!"

Ichigo is just sort of flailing around and gurgling. The individual battles rage on, much to Aizen's delight back on the beach. He's on his fourth Bahama Mama and feeling really good…

"Back off tights-wearing trollop!" Rukia elbows Yoruichi in the nose.

Yoruichi falls back in the water, bumping into Orihime and Gin. This causes much more chaos as Orihime and Gin both attempt to strangle Yoruichi, but for far different reasons. Rukia takes this opportunity to climb on top of the buoy, untie Tetsuzaemon, and hop on the skidoo.

"Hold on Mr. Shades!" Rukia said to Iba.

"My name…AHHHH!" Iba screamed.

Rukia hit's the throttle, mowing down Ichigo, Hanataro and Urahara in the process. It only seems to lull the fighting for a few seconds, as the boys are right back at each other's throats moments later. Rukia gives the skidoo more power, blasts through the ravaging beasts, hops the razor wire, crashes through the hot coals, and comes to a skidding halt right on top of the pedestal. Hey, no one said she had to actually get off the skidoo to get there.

Aizen stares at her for several seconds. "Damn girl…is Iba still breathing?"

"Yeah, but he may have turned into a turnip." Rukia pokes the now comatose Iba who falls off the skidoo, eyes wide open, body contorted in the fetal position. "He may need a few days to recover."

"Well you win Rukia." Aizen hands over the armband and pulls out a bullhorn. "Challenge is over!"

It takes twenty minutes for the other survivors to reach the beach, all of them are in various degrees of pain and abusement. They are also extremely not happy, but then again no one is ever happy on this island. Aizen pulls his battered body out of the wheelchair.

"Tribal council tonight. You guys can…" Aizen suddenly turns to glance behind himself. "What the hell is that?"

Slowly every head turns upwards to see a large black chopper with the words _GOTEI 13_ painted on its side. The chopper swings around and comes in for a landing. As it touches down, two people step out and walk quickly toward the assembled survivors. Aizen recognizes Isane Kotetsu, lieutenant of the fourth division. He has no clue who's the guy with short black hair, glasses, a blue shirt, black pants and black shoes, who is next to her.

"Aizen!" Isane shouts, running over to him. "You know about the whole Gotei 13 Sweepstakes thing right?"

"Oh yeah." Aizen nods. "This is the winner?"

"Uh…yes sir." Isane looks a bit uneasy. "He was supposed to hang out with Yamamoto at Soul Society for winning the contest. However, Yamamoto is having an important lawsuit back at Soul Society, so the creators of Bleach have no choice but to let the winner hang out with you instead."

"Me?"

"Yes. Anyways…" Isane gulps. "This guy uh…calls himself…the…uh…Ryo Muang."

Aizen's eyes widen and he swiftly starts to limp away. He knows Ryo very well. Not only he's the author who writes this story, but is also a complete Bleach-obsessed fanbrat. Immediately, before Aizen could get away, he is tackled to the ground by Ryo Muang. Bleach-obsessed fanatics are dangerous people, you know.

"OHMYGOSHYOUARESOSUKEAIZENWHOISONEOFMYMOSTFAVORITEVILLAINSINTHEMANGAANDICAN'TBELIEVEI'MHUGGINGYOURIGHTNOW!" Ryo yells like a frantic maniac, wrapping his arms around his neck. "We are going to have so much fun…I have handcuffs and butterscotch syrup!"

"Someone kill me…"

The tribe members scurry off, lest Ryo Muang does something to them…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be voted off?_


	27. Thirteenth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 27: Thirteenth Tribal Council**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Despite the prospect of the horrible tortures Aizen could be going through at this moment in time, the tribe is not in exceptionally high spirits. They'd probably be happier if Aizen's ruin had shown up before the next immunity challenge, instead she showed up right before the vote. Hence the reason everyone is in a pissy mood. Well I suppose they are also in a pissy mood because it has been raining and hailing for the last two hours, not to mention that the wind has picked up to at least ten miles an hour.

Speaking of being in a pissy mood, the cameraman has just cornered Yoruichi, who is looking a bit bruised at the moment.

**(YORUICHI SHIHOUIN – Las Noches Tribe)**

_"Those two imbeciles!" Yoruichi was turning a bright shade of red and looked ready to throttle the cameraman. "I'm gonna vote for both of them!"_

As she broke down into Aizen-like laughter, the cameraman beat a hasty retreat and cornered Ichigo.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

_"Oh I know just who I'm going to vote for…" Ichigo grinned an evil Aizen-like grin. "Everybody thought Rukia Kuchiki is so cute and innocent, but now they know the truth, and the little beep is going down!"_

The cameraman slowly slunk away, probably to write his resignation. Apparently the contestant's slow change from normal, although I suppose a few were already maladjusted, people into Aizen-like marauders of pain and destruction has caused more than a few members of the Survivor crew to quit. That is of course not counting Cameraman A who, sadly, died of the injuries inflicted upon him back in Episode 25. Not to mention that poor cameraman who had to be sent to the rest home back in Episode 23.

Long story short, Survivor is having a personnel crisis.

* * *

**In the Tree…**

We'll leave the Las Noches Tribe camp for now and see how our friends are fairing in the bad weather. From the look of things, not too well.

Byakuya and Haruhi are huddled together around one of the tree branches, hanging on for dear life. Szayel is squished between the two of them, bawling his eyes out while Sparky and his brother are sitting comfy in Haruhi's bra.

Chad and Uryu have apparently patched up their differences for the moment and have tied themselves to the branch above Byakuya and Haruhi. Toshiro is still tied to his branch and screaming his head off about it. This is probably due to the fact that every time the wind picks up a bit, she swings around the branch like a yoyo. Soi Fon and Hisagi are strapped to another branch as are Momo and Rangiku. At the moment Tosen seems to be the only one not with a partner and is barely hanging on to the branch by Rangiku. Rangiku does not appear to be distraught over Tosen's plight.

* * *

…**Requisite Commercial…**

…_The Following advertisement is brought to you by The Espada…_

"_It has come to our attention that our arch enemies, Gotei 13, sponsored an episode of this fine show. During their advertisement time, they then proceeded to trash our organization's good name. We at the Espada cannot sit by and allow our enemies to do this, a legal suit is pending."_

"_However the damage may already be done. So we are here to set the record straight. We did NOT betray Soul Society. Nor the cause of the invasion of Karakura Town. Nor the cause of the incident at Las Noches. Nor the kidnapping of Orihime Inoue. Those incidents are completely unrelated and in no way our responsibility."_

"_We DID NOT betray Soul Society. It was a group of former KGB agents from Soviet Union who disguised themselves as Shinigami captains and betray Soul Society. Was it us who injured Momo, Toshiro, Ichigo, Renji and Komamura and then steal the Orb of Distortion from Rukia Kuchiki's body? I think not. As for Las Noches, well that was industrial espionage. The whole invasion of Karakura Town was the work of terrorists. Orihime Inoue was kidnapped by the Shinigami Women's Association. Not us."_

"_We are blameless for these incidents, as many our friends within the government have repeatedly stated on tape in front of cameras."_

"_Unlike Gotei 13, they are planning to build __a massive facility in Antarctica which will serve as Yamamoto's citadel and palace for Gotei 13's new world order. They will then attempt to use their Special forces to gather all of the command codes for the world's nuclear weapons, and then launch a satellite that will use those codes to take control of every nuclear device on earth and the centerpiece of their citadel will control that satellite, and thus the entire nuclear arsenal of the world's nations and the world will be at Gotei 13's mercy!"_

"_I do hope everyone at home is now at ease. We are not the bad guys here, Gotei 13 is. They plot, they attack, they slander, and all in hopes of stealing you away from us. But it will not happen, we here at the Espada care about your well-being, they do not."_

"_Help support the Espada by sending us a small contribution to aide in our legal suit against Gotei 13. Please call the number listed below:"_

_1-800-GOTEI-13-SUCKS_

…_The Espada…Helping the community one miracle at a time…_

**

* * *

**

Tribal Council Area…

Normally this is the part where I describe our treacherous host being in fine spirits and relishing the upcoming vote and all the misery it must be causing our contestants. Unfortunately for our treacherous host I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is that our treacherous host is in exceptionally low spirits and is contemplating suicide at this very moment.

Why may you ask?

Well I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Ryo Muang who just happens to be wrapped around his waist, and dressed like Toshiro Hitsugaya. He hasn't let him out of his grasp since he landed on the island seven hours ago. In fact he is contemplating doing various things to him that would only be proper to show you if this was a 'People Gone Wild' video. On the plus side, he did help treat Aizen's injuries with his medical skills, so he's no longer all banged up.

So, Aizen is not happy as the tribe finally makes it's way to the tribal council area. The contestants take one look at Aizen's plight and find it vastly amusing, they comment on it by laughing at him. Aizen sulks even more which, unfortunately for him, Ryo Muang finds it hilarious.

"That's right, Aizen, sulk all you want." Ryo laughed as he hugs Aizen tighter. "Because you deserve it for betraying Momo and injuring Toshiro, Ichigo, Renji and Komamura back at Soul Society!"

"I know Rukia isn't giving up her immunity and I have finally resigned myself to a fate worse than death, so just go vote and my pain can end that much sooner." Aizen now breaks down crying. "Just kill me now…"

The contestants look at each other, giggle, shake their heads, then burst out laughing. After about twenty minutes of this, even Ichigo's Menos seems to be laughing, they finally get themselves under control long enough to vote. Ichigo is up first, he scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"I hope you rot in hell Rukia."

He then Aizen-laughs and sits back down. Orihime is next.

"Gin, I still cannot forgive you for choosing the tights-wearing trollop over me."

She drops the card in the pot and sits down. Gin is next, he writes down the same name four times and holds up the card.

"Orihime, I still cannot forgive you for beating the hell out of me during the immunity challenge. Oh, and I'm so not in love with you anymore."

He sits down and Urahara is next.

"Grimmjow, we may have good times when we are both together at the Soul Tribe. But now those days are over. It's time for you to go!"

He drops the card in the pot and sits down. Hanataro is next; he walks quickly past Ichigo's Menos and writes out a name.

"Yeah, I'm back to wanting to go home again."

He then sulks and takes his seat. Grimmjow is next. He scribbles out the same name nine times and holds up the card.

"Urahara, we may be good friends when we were at the Soul Tribe, but now those days are over. Time to go!"

He drops the card in and now it's Yoruichi's turn. She stalks up to the jar, scribbles out two names and holds up the card.

"Gin, Orihime…_**BEEP YOU**_!"

She then smiles daintily and takes her seat. Finally it's Rukia's turn. She scribbles out a name and holds up the card.

"Bye, bye Ichigo!"

She drops in her card and takes her seat. "I'll read out the votes." Aizen groaned. He walks slowly to collect the voting jar, dragging Ryo Muang along with him, and starts counting out the votes…

* * *

**Back in the Tree…**

What our tree bound friends have noticed, that our contestants busy enjoying Aizen's plight have not, is that the wind has now started blowing even stronger and the sky is turning an angry shade of black. Everyone is still hanging on for dear life. Except poor Tosen who somehow managed to get lodged between Uryu and Chad when his strength finally gave out. Uryu and Chad do not find this amusing, even if Rangiku thinks it's funnier than Monty Python on crack…

* * *

**Back at Tribal Council…**

"Thirteenth person voted out of Survivor…Kisuke Urahara, please go to the cage."

However the cage does not swing into view. Instead we hear the voice of the show's producer over a bullhorn.

"COULD YOU MAYBE TOSS HIM OVER HERE!? THE HIGH WIND IS CAUSING US SOME ISSUES!"

Aizen sighed heavily, grabbed Urahara by the back of the neck, and tossed him over the railing. There is a loud crash then a heavy clang noise. This is followed by a squeal of delight from Ryo, marveling at Aizen's strength no doubt, who promptly squeezes him tighter and proceeds to cover his face in kisses. More than one of the contestants is now ill and several hundred female Aizen fans at home now want to see Ryo Muang die a horrible, painful, and somewhat gruesome death.

"THANK YOU!"

Suddenly, though I can't say without warning as the storm has been raging for several hours, the hurricane comes into view. Everyone at tribal council, with the exception of Aizen, who is crying again, and Ryo Muang, who is cooing over Aizen, start screaming bloody murder. Even the Menos gets into the act, huddling behind Ichigo and whimpering.

And if that wasn't scary enough, something even more sudden, and kind of unexpected, happens. The tree, to which the former contestants and Haruhi have been exiled to, flies over the tribal council area.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The screaming continues until both the tree and the former contestants are out of sight. I really must admit that those confined to the tree certainly had a good set of lungs on them. Upon seeing this everyone scatters like a pack of heroin addicted chickens on a good high…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Aizen's suffering does not end…_

_Another immunity challenge.._

_A reward challenge…_

_We find out where the tree bound exiles landed…_

**_Who Votes Who:_**

_Ichigo: Rukia_

_Orihime: Gin_

_Gin: Orihime_

_Urahara: Grimmjow_

_Hanataro: Hanataro_

_Grimmjow: Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara/Urahara_

_Yoruichi: Gin/Orihime_

_Rukia: Ichigo_

Ryo: Okay seriously, guys. All I can say is that, I'm not really a lunatic in real life. Honest. Oh and the Espada lying about Gotei 13 building a citadel in their commercial, is sort of a reference to Kalow's story, _Project Ereshkigal_. Heh. Stay tune and read and review!


	28. Ryo Muang Takes Over

Ryo: Here's the next chapter. The last chapter has been edited after I realize I forgot to put the Who Votes Who section.

_**Chapter 28: Ryo Muang Takes Over**_

**Las Noches Tribe…The next morning…**

The Las Noches tribe is not happy, but are they ever?

Truth be told they are in an even worse mood than they were the night before. Not because Urahara got voted off, everyone is exceptionally happy that annoying Mr. Hat and Clogs is gone. No, they are all pissed off because most of their camp got blown away in the hurricane. A few of the tribe members are wishing that some of their tribe mates had been blown away as well, but that is a whole other issue.

**(ORIHIME INOUE – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Look at this place!" Orihime whines. "Do they really expect me, the great and beautiful Orihime Inoue to live in this pig sty!"_

_The cameraman, hereafter referred to as Cameraman G, splutters a bit trying to come with an answer. Inoue shakes her head, massaging her temples._

"_It was a rhetorical question you peasant."_

She then wanders off to spread more misery to her other tribe mates, especially Gin. Cameraman G quickly escapes, thinking these people are psycho. Unfortunately for him, Cameraman G has no idea what happened to his predecessors. I mean when your name is G you have to wonder what happened to A through F.

* * *

**On the Beach…**

Ryo Muang flicks a bit of dust from Aizen's stolen Espada coat and adjusts his glasses. He is extremely excited to be hosting the show today, especially the immunity challenge and reward challenge. You can tell by the malicious Aizen-like grin on his face.

A few seconds later, the Las Noches tribe wanders onto the beach, Ichigo riding his menos Fluffy. They all stop dead in their tracks, open mouthed and staring, at the sight of Ryo dressed like Aizen. There is a lot of confusion on this beach folks, but that is really nothing unusual is it?

"What the hell are you doing here?" Inoue snaps.

"Where's Aizen, he's not hurt is he?" Yoruichi asked.

Despite the look of concern on Yoruichi's face, she looks anything but sympathetic. In fact the thought of Aizen being injured puts a genuine grin on her face. Ryo shakes his head.

"No. He's…uh…tied up with something at the moment…" Ryo said with an innocent smile.

* * *

**Ryo Muang's Apartment…**

"Help!"

It seems Ryo was not lying when he said Aizen was tied up with something. In fact he's tied to that bed with several somethings. Including some high tensile steel cable and a couple logging chains. He doesn't look too happy about it either.

"I swear I'll never do anything evil again…JUST GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

* * *

**Back on the Beach…**

"Since Aizen is currently indisposed, I'll be giving you your immunity challenge today." Ryo smiles. "Oh and there is a reward challenge as well, isn't that nice?"

The tribe members look at each other and shrug. Most of them figure this shouldn't be too hard, after all, Ryo can't be nearly as evil as Aizen. Finally they nod. Ryo smiles and motions for them to follow him.

"Alright then, first, the immunity challenge." Ryo motions to a large banner behind him. "This is a race. From here you will circle the island, following the arrows through various areas. First one back here wins immunity. Simple. Oh and Ichigo, you can't ride your Menos."

Right at this moment, the entire tribe decides that Ryo is not nearly as vindictive as Aizen. In fact none of them think to ask her what the catch is, boy are they going to regret that. The survivors spread out under the banner, while Ichigo's Menos catches some shade under a nearby tree. Ryo smiles and pulls out a DE magnum, pointing the barrel toward the sky.

"Ready…set…GO!" He yelled as he fires a single shot into the air and the survivors take off. Just as they round the first corner, a large moth fell to the ground at Ryo's feet. He looks up into the sky, glances at the gun in his hand, then looks back at the moth. Which, incidentally, has a rather large hole through the middle of its chest.

"Oops, I hope those things aren't endangered." Ryo grabs the moth and tosses it to Fluffy, who promptly eats it in one single gulp. He chuckled and pats the thing on the snout. "Let's have a look at our lovely contestants, shall we?" Fluffy screeches a reply while Ryo examines some conveniently placed video monitors.

Grimmjow is in the lead, followed closely by Ichigo, then Hanataro, then Yoruichi, then Rukia, and then Gin carrying Inoue. The latter is beating the former with a large stick and screaming at him to go faster. Thus far they have run into nothing unusual, that is about to change in five seconds.

Grimmjow rounds the corner, following a bright red arrow to the left. Suddenly he comes to a skidding halt. "What the…" He tried to say.

Ichigo, unable to stop in time, slams into Grimmjow and they both go head first into the small pond in front of them. The rest of the tribe comes to a halt, looking both sickened and surprised. Ichigo and Grimmjow are not happy.

"AHHHH! Something's on my foot!"

Grimmjow beats at the rather large leech attached to his leg. Several more leeches head towards Grimmjow. Ichigo is having somewhat better luck, as he has managed to climb onto one of the nearby stepping stones.

The rest of the tribe looks at one another and decides that Ryo Muang _**is**_as vindictive as Aizen and curse his name several times, causing the censors to beep out the next five minutes of conversation. Finally Yoruichi braves the water and starts jumping from stone to stone across the pond. Everyone else follows with Gin/Inoue bringing up the rear. Grimmjow is still having leech issues and might be out of the race for good, in fact one of the leeches has attached itself to his face.

"MMMM….MMMMM!" Grimmjow cried. Poor guy…

Back on track, Ichigo takes over the lead and makes a right, following the next arrow. He's going to regret that.

"Holy…SHIT!"

Two Hollows drop from the palm trees, right on top of Ichigo. Yoruichi quickly passes him, eyes on the trail, followed by the rest of the survivors. Ichigo continues to wrestle with his attackers.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

He is not winning. Back on the beach, Ryo is laughing and drinking Coca-cola. Yeah, he's exactly like Sosuke Aizen. Back on the trail, Yoruichi decides that being out in front is not the best of ideas. She drops back, allowing Rukia to pass her. Rukia glances back at Yoruichi and laughs, even going so far as to call her a few very un-nice names. But it's Yoruichi who winds up laughing last when Rukia suddenly flies sideways, attacked by two lions.

"AHHHH! That BITCH!"

I'm assuming she's referring to Ryo Muang. Yoruichi points and laughs then proceeds on her way, following another arrow into some heavy foliage. Without warning a large vine snakes around her legs and lifts her off the ground. Yoruichi is now in the grips of a carnivorous Plant Monster. Yoruichi screams her head off as the plant flings her around like a rag doll. Gin and Inoue pass this display, with Inoue laughing and pointing at Yoruichi.

The survivors are now halfway around the island…

Inoue is still laughing at Yoruichi's plight, when a large bat swoops down and grabs her by the hair.

"Gin, you get up here and help me!"

Gin glances up at the screaming Orihime as she is carried into the tree tops by the bat. Taking one single moment to actually think, yes folks mark this momentous occasion in your minds, he decides he'd rather have the immunity. He speeds up as Hanataro draws along side him.

The survivors are now more than ¾ around the island…

Gin and Hanataro are neck and neck, when a large cloud of green gas floats into Hanataro's face. Hanataro coughs, gags, and finally passes out. Another large plant monster shambles out of the foliage and picks Hanataro up by the ankle, it then disappears back into the tree line. Gin ignores the whole scene and slides under the banner.

"Oh goody, Gin wins." Ryo smiles brightly and hands Gin Momo's armband. He wraps it around his right arm, smiles stupidly, and passes out from exhaustion.

"Well, I suppose we should gather up everyone else, we still have the reward challenge. Come on Fluffy." While Ryo rides Fluffy out to retrieve the other survivors, let's see what our former tree bound refuges are up to…

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

"Oooo…my head." Haruhi sat up, rubbing at a large knot on the back of her head. Sparky scampered out of her bra to sit on her shoulder.

"Where the hell are we?" He squeaked, looking around the dense foliage. "Are we still on the island?"

"No idea, maybe…" Haruhi said, scratching the back of her head.

"MOMMY!" Szayel cried. Haruhi went tumbling backwards and Sparky went flying through the air as Szayel tackled Haruhi to the ground. "I was so worried!"

Haruhi patted him on the back as he began to sob into her shoulder. A few seconds later, Byakuya and Uryu walked over. Byakuya was a bit bruised up and there were twigs in his hair. Uryu was shirtless and his chest was covered with scratches.

"Where is everyone else?" Haruhi asked, trying to get out from under Szayel. "Are they alright?"

"Well, Toshiro is stuck in a tree screaming bloody murder. Momo is setting Chad's arm which he broke it in the fall." Byakuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Hisagi is sick, flu or something. Soi Fon is digging a hole for Tosen while Rangiku tries to clean him up a bit."

"He's dead?"

"So it would appear." Uryu said, scooping Sparky off the ground. "Probably when he hit the ground."

Haruhi finally got out from under Szayel and stood up. Szayel continued to cry while he wrapped around her waist. She sighed and motioned for Byakuya and Uryu to lead the way. She dragged along behind them, Szayel still sobbing.

A few minutes later, they arrived in a clearing. The tree they had been in during the hurricane lay at an angle, the roots supported by some trees and the top dug into the ground.

"Get me down from here!" Toshiro screamed from a nearby tree. "I am not going to be stuck in another _**beeping**_ tree! Do you hear me down there! I swear…"

A rock came flying from Momo's direction, smacking Toshiro in the head and knocking him unconscious.

"Damn, even though I love him, Shiro-chan can be so annoying sometimes." Momo snapped, turning back to Chad.

"Tell me…owww!" Chad cringed as Momo pulled the bandages tight. "That hurts."

"Duh." Haruhi shook her head and followed Uryu and Byakuya toward where Soi Fon was digging a hole. Suddenly a hand shot up and grabbed Haruhi by the ankle. Haruhi spun around to find Hisagi staring up at her looking a bit insane.

"The bunnies…at night I can hear the bunnies screaming…beware the bunnies…BEWARE!" Hisagi screamed.

"Yea, bunnies, right." Haruhi said sarcastically. She slid out of his grip and hurried to catch up with Byakuya and Uryu. Soi Fon was about seven feet into the hole, so you could only see the top of her head and the tip of her shovel as the dirt flew through the air.

"Why the hell do I have to dig the _**beeping**_ hole?!"

The three passed by Soi Fon and her complaining and finally stopped when Rangiku was kneeling over Tosen's body. And I must say she looked anything but sad. In fact I'd go so far to say she looked ready to have a party.

"Poor, poor Tosen…_giggle_…I'm gonna miss you…_snort_…you were a great captain to the ninth division before you betray us."

Finally she broke into a fit of giggles. Uryu rolled his eyes and headed back to help Soi Fon. Haruhi and Byakuya just looked at each other and sighed. Then something very surprising happened.

"I'm not dead." Tosen mumbled, trying to get up. "I'm fine."

Rangiku quickly snapped around and put her hand over Tosen's mouth.

"He's lying, it's just muscle's twitching. You know, death throws and stuff." Rangiku protested.

"Uh-huh." Haruhi and Byakuya said in unison. "Really?"

"I'm fine…really I am." Tosen mumbled, pulling at Rangiku's hand. "I think I'll go for a walk."

"You'll be stone dead in a moment, just shut up." Rangiku hissed, looking around for a rock to bash him with. "Really, he'll be dead in seconds."

Byakuya reached out and grabbed Rangiku by the left arm and Haruhi grabbed the right. They then proceeded to drag her past everyone and out of the clearing, all the while she was screaming.

"My one chance! And that moron can't even get himself properly killed!"

* * *

**Back on the Beach…**

"Oh my, wasn't that fun?"

Ryo beamed at the survivors, all in various states of pain. Grimmjow was babbling, pale from blood loss, and covered in nasty red leech sucky marks. Ichigo was covered in Hollow slashes and moaning softly to himself. Rukia was rocking back and forth, covered in deep scratches and mumbling something about 'the screeches'. Yoruichi has some nasty bruises on her ankles and is so dizzy she can't even see straight. Inoue is covered in bat dust, has lost a substantial amount of hair, seems to have a large green growth on her back. Hanataro is having acid flashbacks and is drooling from the gas. Gin is the only one still in one piece.

"Hrmm, I guess from the silence that would be a no." Ryo shrugs. "Oh well, now the reward challenge. And the reward is…"

Ryo stepped back and pulled a sheet off of the table behind him. Despite the pain and agony, the survivors all perk up with awe and wonder. On the table were two cases of Mountain Dew, and three pizzas.

"All you have to do is…" Ryo smirked. "Kiss me. Whoever gives me the best kiss wins."

The girls all jump to their feet while the four boys look at each other, confusion etched on their faces. But the smell from the pizzas is too much so they too jump to their feet.

Grimmjow is the first one there and plants a big one on Ryo's face. Ryo decks him, knocking him flat on his ass.

"Ewww…you're a guy!"

Ichigo, Hanataro and Gin quickly sit down. Grimmjow's unconscious form is enough to dissuade them from trying. Orihime trots up, grabs Ryo by the shoulders and kisses him full on the mouth. Ryo reaches up and slaps her across the face.

"That sucked, next!"

Orihime stumbles back toward the boys, while Rukia tries her hand at wooing Ryo. She plants a hand on each side of his face and kisses him. A second later she stumbles back to Orihime and the boys, a large red mark on the left side of her face.

"You're the last one Yoruichi, make it good."

Ryo smirks at her, but Yoruichi seems unusually confident. She stalks over, slides both arms around his back, bends her knee so he's swept down a few inches from the ground, and kisses him. After a few seconds, Ryo's arms come up around her neck and he kisses her back. Finally Yoruichi pulls back, stands up, and rights Ryo into a standing position.

"Wow." Ryo blushes a bit. "You win, come on." Ryo grabs Yoruichi by the back of the shirt and pulls her along behind him.

"I forgot to mention that part of the reward was getting to come home with me."

Yoruichi lets out a blood curdling scream and tries to get away. What she winds up doing is landing flat on her stomach being drug by her ankles.

"AHHHH!"

Deep furrows of earth are dug up as Yoruichi is drug off. The remaining survivors steal the Mountain Dew and pizzas then hightails it back to camp…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be voted off?_

Ryo: Damn, I sure have fun, don't I? So anyways, Gin has the immunity and Yoruichi can't be voted for during tribal council either. So who will be the next to leave? Stay tune and read and review!


	29. Fourteenth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 29: Fourteenth Tribal Council**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

The tribe heads back to camp, all of them sporting very large red marks on their faces and contemplating just how much joy killing Ryo Muang would bring them. Hanataro, Ichigo and Rukia are a bit worried about what may have happened to poor Yoruichi. Cameraman H, G disappeared during the hurricane, corners Ichigo.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Well who knows what that evil vile teenage boy could be doing to her?" Ichigo shudders a bit, just thinking about it. "I mean, it's one thing to torture Aizen, he pretty much deserves it. But, poor Yoruichi…she's friendly, and beautiful, and kind, so why the hell is she being tormented?"_

Cameraman H nods his agreement then wanders off to corner someone else.

**(RUKIA KUCHIKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Poor, poor, Yoruichi." Rukia shakes her head. "Poor, poor, poor, poor, Yoruichi."_

While Rukia continues to lament over what may or may not be happening to Yoruichi, Cameraman H now corners Grimmjow.

**(GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Dude, I don't even know who Yoruichi is, so why are you asking me this? Besides, I think she probably deserves it for being such a beautiful sexy-ass bitch all the time." Grimmjow shrugs._

The camera went back to passive mode and we now see Orihime is delivering vast amounts of punishment to Gin.

"How dare you leave me to be attacked by T-Virus infected moths and bats?" Orihime scolded. Each shouted word was punctuated by a loud slap to Gin's head. Gin, for his part, was doing his best to escape, but failing miserably at it.

* * *

**Ryo Muang's Apartment…**

"Let me out of here!" Yoruichi screamed as she beats against the closet door, which is padlocked and steel reinforced, trying to get anyone to listen to her. However, the only person within shouting distance is Aizen, still tied to the bed.

"Shut up Yoruichi, you're giving me a headache! Besides, you probably deserve it for that kick to my face during our first day on the island!" Aizen snapped.

"You shut up!" Yoruichi snaps back, ceasing her pounding. "You're the leader of the Espada and the most dangerous man in Las Noches, can't you do something?!"

"If I could have gotten out of here, don't you think I'd have done it by now, you moron?"

"Look here Aizen, I…ewww."

Aizen lifted his head up, looking uncharacteristically worried, and stared at the closet door.

"What does _ewww_ mean?" Aizen asked.

"I just stepped on something…_soft_." Yoruichi replied. Aizen glanced toward the door of the room, then looked back at the closet. Not only does he look worried, he now looks scared.

"Tell me it is _**not**_ a dead body." He said.

"Well, it's a foot and it's connected to a leg. But I think it's breathing."

"Who is it?"

"I don't know, it's kinda of dark in here…give me a minute."

Aizen listens intently as there are some shuffling sounds from within the closet. Finally, after five minutes, Yoruichi's harried voice filters into the bedroom.

"It's a guy."

"I don't want to know how you found that out." Aizen looks ready to hurl. "I really don't."

"I didn't feel him up you pervert. I'm just making the assumption that Ryo's door doesn't swing both ways because of the whole "Kissing Grimmjow" thing at the last immunity challenge. Besides, nerds don't usually tote around big ass swords on their backs."

Before Aizen can comment a new, another voice joins Yoruichi's from the closet.

"Ma'am, let go of my leg." The voice said. There is an audible thud followed by a small crash.

"Sorry." Yoruichi squeaked. "I was checking to see if you were still alive."

"Thanks for the concern." The voice said. "Unfortunately I am still alive and _**still**_ trapped in this damn closet. By the way, name's Allen Walker and the guy you're standing on is my friend, Lenalee Lee, and we are both from the anime D-Gray Man."

There are a few more crashing sounds, followed by some cursing. Aizen cranes his head up further, like that is going to help him to find out what is going on. "Yoruichi, what the hell is going on in there!" He asked.

"Get off me you trollop!" Lenalee snaps, getting to her feet. "How is a person supposed to sleep?"

"Umm…well Aizen, it's kinda hard to explain." Yoruichi sounds more than a bit confused. "But it looks like Ryo has been kidnapping anime characters for a while now."

"Who are you talking to?" Allen's voice filters into the room, sounding a might concerned. "He's not back is he?"

"God I hope not." Lenalee snapped. "Crazy son of a bitch."

"No, he's not back, that's my former friend, Sosuke Aizen." Yoruichi sighed heavily. "Ryo kidnapped him too."

"Ooooohhhh." Allen and Lenalee say in unison. "That's the new toy he's been playing with."

Before Aizen can explode is some semblance of his normal evil anger, someone broke into the room through the window with his hammer.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!! **_

Aizen coughed a bit and after the smoke is cleared, he turned his head and sees the one who broke into the window. It was a red haired boy who wears a green headband, an eye patch on his left eye, an orange scarf and a black and white uniform and wields a large black hammer.

"Guys! I'm here!" The boy yelled.

"Jesus Christ, Lavi, you are finally here!" Allen yelled from the closet.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Lenalee asked.

"Sorry guys, there are so many guys on the Internet named Ryo Muang these days. How would I know?" Lavi shrugs.

"Look kid, JUST GET US OUT OF HERE!" Aizen shrieked.

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Ryo is grinning wildly and now dressed like Grimmjow Jaegerjaques Currently, he's imagining all the fun things he can do with Yoruichi when he gets back to his apartment. While having him slightly X-rated fantasies, involving some whip cream and a pair of handcuffs, the Las Noches tribe shows up.

The tribe looks around warily before sitting down. By now all of them are more than slightly alarmed at Yoruichi's absence. They are also more than slightly concerned at the current look on Ryo's face. Finally Ryo snaps out of his wicked fantasies and smiles at them.

"How is everyone today?" His grin widens. "Enjoy the pizza?"

There is a murmur of yes among the survivors.

"Oh good. Due to a minor problem, I'm afraid Yoruichi Shihouin won't be joining us. I'm positive that Gin doesn't want to give up his immunity so let's vote, shall we?"

* * *

**IMPORTANT NEWS BREAK**

_We now see Nanao Ise, sitting at her desk at the Shinigami Women's Association meeting room with some papers. After arranging her papers, she looks at the camera and smiles as she lifts her glasses. "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you some late breaking news from the courthouse in Soul Society." Nanao said. "As know this is where the Gotei 13 VS Espada civil trial is going on. We go live to our correspondent in the field, Kiyone Kotetsu."_

_The screen now shows Kiyone, with a microphone in her hand, standing outside the courthouse. "This is Kiyone Kotetsu, live in front of Soul Society supreme court." Kiyone smiles brightly for the camera. Hey, everybody needs a day job. "Moments ago, a fight broke out between Gotei 13's Captain General, Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryusai and Espada representive, Nnoitra Jiruga. The fight was apparently instigated when Nnoitra accused Yamamoto of being, and I quote,__**An idiot with a stupid English voice actor and a dumb name.**__"_

"_Yamamoto retorted with, and I quote,__**Well at least I'm not an ugly looking freak who looks like he hasn't cut his hair in twenty years!**__The situation deteriorated from there. We will be covering this story as it develops. Back to you Nanao."_

_The screen shows Nanao at her desk again. "We now return you to the show already in progress." Nanao smiled._

* * *

**Tribal Council…**

Orihime glared at the assembled tribe members. Ryo was still smiling brightly and holding the voting jar. Orihime jumped to her feet, screaming, pouting, and generally acting like a spoiled brat.

"How dare you vote me off?" Orihime snapped. "I cannot be voted off! I WILL NOT BE VOTED OFF!"

Orihime starts to go psycho-crazy. She now has fire in her eyes and was about to give Ryo and every tribe member several punches in the face. While the rest of the tribe took cover, Ryo took out a cane and grabs Orihime by the neck with it. The cage then came into view and Ryo threw her inside. This of course caused poor Renji, Ulquiorra and Urahara to completely freak out and attempt to escape. Screams of pain could be heard as the cage disappeared from sight. The rest of the tribe looked at each other and scattered into the trees.

Ryo shrugged, throws away the cane, and skipped off camera…

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

Haruhi leaned against Byakuya, fanning her face with a large palm leaf. Skippy and his brother sat perched on her head, sleeping. Chad and Uryu were sitting under a nearby palm tree, cracking open a few coconuts. Hisagi had finally recovered from his flu and was off in the trees with Soi Fon…you don't want to know what they are doing. Toshiro was still hanging unconscious from the tree, no one seemed to care. Momo was cooking a couple formerly beautiful exotic parrots. Near the fire, Szayel was playing with some random sticks, while Tosen examined him to try and figure out how to reverse his amnesia.

"Umm…can I please be let out now?" Rangiku asked.

There is a universal _**no**_ from everyone conscious. Rangiku sighs glumly, resting her head on the dirt. She is currently buried up to her neck in the hole Soi Fon had been digging for Tosen earlier. Needless to say, she is not happy.

* * *

**Back at Ryo Muang's Apartment…**

Ryo threw his room door open and skipped happily into his bedroom.

"I'm home!"

His smile slipped as he stared at the now vacant bedroom. The chains he had tied Aizen to the bed with were now broken and the closet door was standing wide open. His eyes fell to the floor and the trail of footprints lead from the bed out the huge hole Lavi made on the wall. He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I lose more anime characters that way."

* * *

**At a bar far far far away from Ryo's apartment…**

Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Aizen and Yoruichi are now plastered and singing various folk songs. Unfortunately Aizen and Yoruichi are so drunk they do not see the two Survivor Producers sneaking up on them with a fishing net…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Aizen and Yoruichi return to the island…_

_A new painful immunity challenge…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Ichigo: Orihime_

_Rukia: Orihime_

_Grimmjow: Orihime_

_Orihime: Rukia_

_Hanataro: Orihime_

_Gin: Orihime_

Ryo: Hope you guys enjoy that. Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee and Lavi are from the anime D-Gray Man. Check out some episodes of the show on YouTube. The show is really awesome. Anyways, next chapter coming soon, so read and review!


	30. Drunks and Adjuchas What Fun!

_**Chapter 30: Drunks and Adjuchas What Fun!**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

As usual, no one seems to be missing the recently voted off survivor. Hell even Gin is smiling happily that Orihime is gone. It probably has something to do with the numerous bruises covering his head and face from where she slapped him around before the tribal council.

Everyone goes about their normal business of whatever it is they do, except Ichigo. Ichigo heads over to Gin, Fluffy trailing along behind him like a lost puppy.

"Gin I need to have a word with you." Ichigo said. Gin glanced up from the fire he was attempting to build, looking more than slightly concerned.

"Whatever it is I didn't do it."

"No, I need an alliance with you. You and I are the only ones without an alliance. I mean…" Ichigo trails off as a body falls into the sand. He glances up at the chopper hovering above them, then back down at the body, and finally back up at the chopper. The show's producer gives a little wave, before smacking the pilot in the back of the head. The pilot mumbles a few obscenities and steers the chopper away.

Meanwhile the body moans slightly then suddenly jumps to her feet. The body is none other than Yoruichi, looking extremely drunk and wearing a kick ass black and white uniform. In fact, it's none other than Lenalee's coat from D-Gray Man.

"Hey everybody!" Yoruichi slurred, throwing an arm around Fluffy's neck. "I escaped, ya don't gotta pay the ransom."

"Where the hell did you get the uniform?" Rukia asked.

"Lenalee gave it to me!" Yoruichi grinned widely, kissing Fluffy on the snout. "You're a cute little menos, did you know that?"

There is an audible _thunk_ as everyone's jaw hit's the ground…

* * *

**On the Beach…**

Aizen is standing on the beach waiting for the tribe. Other than that our host does not look at all like normal. He's barefoot, bare-chested, wearing white boxers and a kick ass black and white uniform which is none other than Allen Walker's uniform…and for some unknown reason, his hair is white. The show's ratings have now jumped by 120 points.

The Las Noches tribe wandered onto the beach, with Yoruichi riding Fluffy…backwards. They take one look at Aizen and realize that he's as drunk as Yoruichi.

"Hey there my nice little victims!" Aizen gave the tribe a drunken wave. "Are we ready for our happy, happy, joy, joy immunity challenge…yea?"

"Oh my God…" Hanataro moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just shoot me now."

"Where the hell did you get that outfit?" Grimmjow looks unnaturally surprised. "And what the _beep _happened to your hair?"

"Oh well we had this, like, poker game and I, like, lost the first hand so, like, Allen dyed my hair white, then, like, he lost, like, the second round so I got his uniform, then, like, I lost the third round, so, like, I stripped my clothes to my boxers."

The horror and confusion our survivors are experiencing is so profound I am unable to put it into words. Aizen just pulls off a drunken evil-like grin as Yoruichi falls off Fluffy. Finally Gin breaks the silence.

"Did anyone catch how many times he said _like_?" Gin shuddered. "He sounded like a sorority girl."

And in unison the other survivors reply.

"Five."

"Alrighty! Time for, like, the immunity challenge…yea!" Aizen skipped down the beach, his black and white uniform billowing out behind him. The survivors shudder and follow after him, with Fluffy dragging Yoruichi by her ponytail.

Aizen came to a stop in front of a large walled in coral, with the wall being roughly four feet in height. He grins at the survivors and hands each of them a seven foot length of rope.

"All you have to, like, do is, like, rope the Adjuchas and, like, hog tie it…yea!"

Aizen opens the gate to the coral, falling on his ass in the process. The survivors groan loudly and march into the coral, except Yoruichi…who staggers. When the last survivor is in, Aizen kicks the gate closed.

"First one to, like, get their Adjuchas, like, tied wins the, like, immunity. Need that, like, armband there Ginnie."

The armband lands on Aizen's head and falls into the sand, he doesn't seem to notice. Several minutes pass as Aizen attempts to open a cage adjacent to the coral. He finally manages it and six Adjuchas bound into the corral with our survivors. This of course causes the normal response.

Hanataro: "AHHHHHHH!"

Grimmjow: "_BEEP_!"

Gin: "SHIT!"

Ichigo: "I HATE THE HOST!"

Rukia: "I HATE THIS SHOW!"

Yoruichi: "I LIKE HAM!"

**EVERYBODY EXCEPT AIZEN AND YORUICHI SWEATDROPS**

And, as usual, the chaos begins.

The first thing Rukia does is shed her clothes and pull out her whip. This causes all of the survivors to look at one another and move as far away from her as possible. However her plan is undone as one of the Adjuchas whacks her hand with its tail, causing her to lose her whip. She looks at her empty hand, screams, and hides behind Ichigo.

"Oh no, not this time Honey." Ichigo smirked evilly. He grabbed Rukia by the back of the neck and threw right into the middle of the Adjuchas and the screaming starts a few seconds later. This seems to upset Grimmjow, who decks Ichigo. Ichigo in turn decks Grimmjow…and the war is on.

Meanwhile Hanataro and Gin are both trying to sneak up on the same Adjuchas, while Yoruichi is sitting on the ground singing. Hanataro manages to rope the Adjuchas and jerks him backwards. This does not exactly impress Gin.

"Hey! I saw him first!"

Gin pouts, picks up a nearby rock, and throws it at Hanataro. The rock hits him right between the eyes and knocks him backwards over another Adjuchas. His screams now join Rukia's.

At the other corner of the coral, Ichigo and Grimmjow are having probably the largest and most brutal fist fight the show has yet seen. And with this group, that's saying something. Gin has finally managed to wrangle one of the Adjuchas, but gets clawed in the face while trying to tie its back legs.

"AHHHHH…MY EYES!" Gin screams as he runs around in circles, trampling both Hanataro and Rukia in the process. Yoruichi has her arm flung around one of the Adjuchas and they are both singing…if you can call that roaring and growling noises the Adjuchas is making singing.

Finally one of the Adjuchas gets tangled in Rukia's lost whip. As it tumbles into the ground, tying itself up basically, the survivors pounce on him. There is much screaming, fists are flying, and obscenities are coming so fast the censor is getting carpel tunnel from hitting the _beep_ button.

"Back off bitch!" Hanataro yells poking Rukia in the eye.

"Why you little…" Rukia belted Hanataro in the face with a rock.

"Get off of me you little twit!" Ichigo yells as Grimmjow crawls over his back.

"Don't call me a twit you degenerate!" Grimmjow screams, biting Ichigo's ear.

As the battle rages on, Gin somehow gets a hold of the whip and drags the Adjuchas out from under the pile, the other survivors don't appear to notice. He drags the Adjuchas through the gate and collapses at Aizen's feet.

"You, like, win!"

Aizen drops the armband over Gin's head and gives a sharp whistle. The four remaining Adjuchas bound out of the coral and head into the trees. The one Yoruichi has bonded with is still singing, so she just stays where she's at.

"I'll, like, see you later!" Aizen skips off camera as the fight continues within the coral, with the fighters completely oblivious to the fact the immunity challenge is over…

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

Just as our formerly tree bound survivors are preparing to haul Rangiku out of the hole, the four Adjuchas come bounding into the clearing.

"SHIT!" Haruhi let's go of Rangiku and scales a nearby palm tree like a monkey. "Aizen and his _beeping_ immunity challenges!"

The others quickly seek cover in the neighboring trees, except Rangiku who currently has an Adjuchas licking her face.

I wonder how long it's going to take before they realize Adjuchas can climb trees?

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will be the next to be thrown into the cage?_


	31. Fifteenth Tribal Council

**_Chapter 31: Fifteenth Tribal Council_**

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Our survivors finally trudge back into camp, all of them in various states of abusement. Of course all the injuries were a result of the hour long brawl they had over the tied up Adjucha that Gin stole out from underneath them. As it is, only Yoruichi escaped unscathed and with her new little pet Adjuchas, she has decided to name it Kaiba. Apparently Yoruichi is a big fan of the anime Yu-Gi-Oh, who knew?

Anyway Cameraman H proceeds to corner our survivors, hoping he won't be their next victim. I guess he finally found out what happened to the other seven cameramen and he's a bit paranoid at this point.

**(HANATARTO YAMADA – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Look what the little bitch did to me!" Hanataro points to a large bandage covering his right eye. "She tried to blind me! THAT LITTLE __**BEEP BEEP BEEPEDY BEEP BEEP **__IS GOING DOWN!"_

Cameraman H quickly flees as Hanataro goes on a ten minute tangent about what a _**beep beep beep **_Rukia is. Our poor censor isn't going to be able to move his arm for a week after this season, what with all the beep button pushing he's been doing.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_He bites my ear!" Ichigo points to a large bandage covering his right ear. "Who the hell does that blue-haired psycho think he is…MIKE TYSON?!"_

Cameraman H backs away slowly and corners someone else.

**(YORUICHI SHIHOUIN – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I have a new pet!" Yoruichi slurs, throwing her arm around Kaiba. "Isn't he just the cutest little thing? He's a vegetarian you know."_

Our poor cameraman faints at the sight of Kaiba the Adjuchas, leaving the camera to go to passive mode. And I must say it picks up on a rather interesting looking argument near the campfire.

"Well you poked me in the eye first!" Hanataro bellowed.

"You didn't have to hit me with a rock!" Rukia screamed back. "You stupid scaredy-cat trollop!"

"Oh! You so did not go there!"

"Oh yes I did you whelp!"

Hanataro jumps onto Rukia and another brawl ensues…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

"AHHHHH! GET IT OFF OF ME!"

Chad is hanging onto the branch of a palm tree for dear life as an Adjuchas on the ground tries to drag him down with it's arms, which just happens to be wrapping around his left ankle at the moment. Everyone else is also in the trees and seems to be having their own issues, with the exception of Rangiku who is still buried and has at this point passed out.

Haruhi has been cornered at the top, or bottom depending on how you look at it, of the tree the former survivors were in before the hurricane. One of the four Adjuchas is desperately trying to eat her, while she beats it in the head with a large stick and tries to protect Szayel who is wrapped around her waist and crying bloody murder. The two mice have once again taken refuge in her bra.

Momo, Toshiro and Soi Fon are screaming their fool heads off as the third of the four Adjuchas climbs up the palm tree they have taken refuge in. Hisagi and Tosen are in the same tree as Chad, and are desperately trying to pull him back up to safety. Meanwhile Byakuya and Uryu appear to be trying to strangle each other while the last of the Adjuchas stare at them like they've lost their minds.

"This is all you fault!" Byakuya decks Uryu. "If you hadn't listened to Chad, I would not be in this damn tree!"

"I hate to tell you this you moron." Uryu decks Byakuya. "But everyone except you and Hanataro voted for you!"

* * *

**!IMPORTANT NEWS BREAK!**

_We now see Nanao again sitting at her desk in the Shinigami Women's Association meeting room with some papers. "We go live to the Soul Society Supreme Court for an update on the Gotei 13/Espada proceedings…Kiyone…"_

"_Thank you Nanao. The fight, which broke out earlier between Yamamoto and Nnoitra, has escalated. We are not allowed into the court room at this time, but reports have reached us that Yamamoto has in fact, ordered 15 Soul Reapers to attack Nnoitra while Nnoitra in turn has reportedly turned several members of the courtroom audience and two of his lawyers into Hollows and ordered them to attack Yamamoto. At this time…"_

_Kiyone glances behind her and see three Hollows shamble out of the courthouse. Calmly she pulls her Desert Eagle and shoots them in the head. She then turns back to the camera smiling._

"_As I was saying, at this time we are unsure as to how many people have been injured and the death toll currently stands at three. Back to you Nanao…"_

_Nanao stars at the camera looking more that a tad bit shaken up. In fact she looks ready to pass out._

"_Uh…thank you Kiyone. We will continue to cover this story and bring you updates as they happen…"_

_We now return you to your regular program, already in progress…_

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen is still drunker than a hoot owl and still wearing his stolen clothes, although I suppose if he won them in a card game we can't exactly call them stolen. Then again, knowing him, he probably cheated.

Anyway, as Aizen hums out an old Disney song, the tribe members show up. Rukia and Hanataro look much worse than before, sporting black eyes, bloody lips, and the odd assortment of broken bones. Grimmjow and Ichigo are glaring at each other, each of them probably debating the best way to kill the other. Gin is supremely glad he has immunity and is smiling like an idiot while wearing the armband. Yoruichi and Kaiba stagger up and sit down, with Fluffy trailing along behind. It would appear that Fluffy the Menos and Kaiba the Adjuchas are bonding as well. Creepy, I know, but work with me here.

"Like, Gin, you want to, like, give up your immunity?" Aizen asked drunkenly.

"Not on your evil Espada life you brown-haired bimbo freak!" Gin snapped

At this loud and insulting proclamation, the entire tribe turns to stare at Gin. Aizen doesn't seem to care and bursts into wild drunken laughter, good thing he's really, really out of it right now. Otherwise Gin would probably be trying to pick his teeth, and various other appendages, up off the ground.

"Like, ok!" Aizen giggles again, for no apparent reason. "Like, go vote!"

Rukia votes first, hobbling up to the jar. She scribbles out a name four times and holds up the card.

"Ok Hanataro, your time on the island is over!" She drops the card into the pot and leaves with a huff.

Ichigo is next to vote. He walks up to the jar, writes out the same name five times and holds up the card.

"Grimmjow…DIE YOU PSYCHOPATHIC MONGRAL OF A ARRANCAR!" He drops the card in the pot and glares. "I HOPE THE REST OF ESPADA MAIMS YOU TO DEATH!"

Ichigo takes his seat, still glaring. Hanataro is up next. He limps up to the jar, holding his injured left side and the four broken ribs he acquired from Rukia, and writes out the same name five times.

"Rukia you are an idiot and you have the worst haircut ever!" Hanataro drops the vote in the pot and leaves with a huff.

Grimmjow is up next. He stalks up to the jar, writes out the same name six times, and holds up the card.

"Just die Ichigo, you pretty boy of a fluff!" He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Gin is up next. He practically runs to the pot, scribbles out the same name twice, and holds up the card.

"Um, Yoruichi, you are scary. I mean you used to be a nice woman and help me with the anti-fluff lessons when we first join together as the Las Noches Tribe. But, um, now you're like really REALLY scary. Please don't hurt me…"

He drops the card in the pot and hurries back to his seat. Yoruichi is up next. She skips up to the pot, Kaiba in tow, scribbles out the same name four times, and holds up the card.

"Hey Rukia!" She grins, swaying a bit. "That whole whip thing is just not working out for you anymore. Besides which you don't look nearly as hot as Soi Fon does when she rips her clothes off."

She grins again, drops the card in the pot, and skips back to her seat with Kaiba bounding after her. Aizen, in the meantime, has broken into a very interesting rendition of _Save a Hoarse Ride a Cowboy_, substituting _Backstabbing Shinigami Captain _for the word cowboy. Who knew Aizen was a fan of country music?

After finishing the chorus, he said drunkenly to the tribe, "I'll read, like, the votes." He staggers over and grabs the pot, at the same time the cage with our jury comes into view. The poor slobs in the cage do not look well either, as all of them have several bruises on their bodies. Must be from those punches from when Orihime Inoue got dumped into the cage at the last Tribal Council. Speaking of Inoue, she appears to be unconscious and tied up at the moment with what was left of Renji's shirt. I guess the jury took matters into their own hands after getting injured by her homicidal temper.

"Ok, like, whoever has the most votes is, like, going to the cage!" Aizen yanks out the slips of paper and counts through them…five times. Finally he tosses them into the air, dances around a bit, and grins at the tribe. Said tribe now thinks Aizen has completely lost his mind, except Yoruichi, who tossed Aizen a dollar for his efforts.

"Rukia, you are, like, going bye, bye now…bring me that torch baby!"

Rukia grabs the torch, heaves it at Aizen, and rips off her clothes. Aizen dodges the torch, which happens to land near the Jury cage and sparks off a chain reaction that ignites the poor ex-survivors once again. Needless to say they are not happy at this point.

Rukia in the meantime does a flying leap at Aizen and smacks him several times with the whip. Much to her surprise and everyone else's dismay, Aizen grins widely.

"Oh yea Baby…smack it good!"

Several tribe members turn green and begin to get sick. Even the Jury, no longer on fire thanks to the producer and a very large fire extinguisher, get sick. The show's ratings have jumped by 30 points and several million women viewing at home plan to buy whips and leather underwear.

Aizen grabs Rukia by the back of the neck, sweeps her of her feet, kisses her cheek passionately, and tosses her into the waiting cage.

"Alright, like, you can leave now!" Aizen bounces off camera as the remaining survivors and jury become even more violently ill. Rukia has passed out from shock…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Aizen has the hangover from hell…_

_Yoruichi, surprisingly, doesn't…_

_Yet again the pain and suffering of our contestants takes the form of a rather nasty immunity challenge…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Rukia: Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro_

_Ichigo: Grimmjow/Grimmjow/Grimmjow/Grimmjow/Grimmjow_

_Hanataro: Rukia/Rukia/Rukia/Rukia/Rukia_

_Grimmjow: Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo_

_Gin: Yoruichi/Yoruichi_

_Yoruichi: Rukia/Rukia/Rukia/Rukia_


	32. Cage Match!

_**Chapter 32: Cage Match!**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

The sun rises over the island, making it look beautiful and full of quiet peace…then the survivors wake up and everything goes to hell.

Grimmjow is in a foul mood and has been since his little Love Bunny…his words not mine, no really he said that…got voted off the night before. I suppose the kiss Rukia got from Aizen didn't help his mood in the slightest. Hanataro is still sick and has been heaving on and off all night long. Everyone is staying as far away from him as humanly possible. Ichigo's ear is infected and has swelled up to twice its normal size, making him look impossibly dorky. Gin is more paranoid than usual and is convinced Yoruichi intends to slaughter him in his sleep. I'm not 100 percent sure how that all came about either, last time I checked Yoruichi hasn't so much as smacked him in the last few days.

As for Yoruichi Shihouin…well she's positively alight with joy and perkiness. I know it sickens me too, but bear with me on this. In fact she doesn't even have anything remotely close to looking like a hangover, which is odd considering she drank like twenty-two Yeager-bombs plus at least six beers after escaping Ryo Muang's apartment. But I promise you, she will recover before the next tribal council.

Currently she is playing fetch with Kaiba and Fluffy, while the other survivors contemplate killing her in the most painful way possible…

* * *

**On the beach…**

Our poor sadistic host looks…um…well he looks bad. He still dressed in his stolen clothes, but his skin is paler than usual and his eyes are badly blood shot.

The survivors troop onto the beach in time to see Aizen toss his cookies in some nearby bushes. This of course causes Hanataro to toss his own cookies behind a pine tree.

Let's…uh…leave the cookie tossing for a few minutes and see how things are going elsewhere…

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

"Die you giant freak of nature!"

Haruhi did a flying leap from the tree, brandishing a large coconut and a palm leaf. The Adjuchas stared at her like she'd lost her mind, at least until she landed on his back and started beating him in the head with the coconut. It began yipping like a dog while running around in circles.

Meanwhile Chad was still trying to rescue his ankle from the Adjuchas on the ground while Hisagi and Tosen come up with a plan. Seconds later Hisagi comes flying out of the tree in a very heroic way. Unfortunately his aim is off and he lands about two feet to the left of the Adjuchas, flat on his face.

"…owww…" Comes the painful and muffled reply from poor Hisagi. "…again…owww…"

While the Adjuchas is staring at Hisagi, Tosen gives Chad a jerk and pulls him back into the tree. Once there he quickly jerks off the Adjuchas' tongue and ties it to one of the palm tree's branches. This appears to piss off the Adjuchas greatly.

In another tree, Toshiro and Momo have made up their differences, had a conference and have decided that Soi Fon is expendable. As such, they have thrown her to the Adjuchas that was stalking them below the tree. Said Adjuchas is now chasing Soi Fon in circles while she screams her head off and waves her arms around in useless and random motions. She kinda looks like Hanataro or Gin at this point.

The fourth Adjuchas has sat down and is now completely engrossed in the fist fight above him. Uryu and Byakuya have forgotten all about the Adjuchas at this point and are basically trying to kill each other with extreme prejudice.

Poor Rangiku is still unconscious…

* * *

**Back on the beach…**

Hanataro and Aizen now look a tad bit better thanks to some aspirin and Alka-Seltzer from the producer. Aizen smiles grimly, sorta looking evil, and motions for the survivors to follow him down the beach. The survivors groan, but trudge along behind the host.

They finally arrive several yards down the beach. Sitting in the middle of the sand is a very large cage, with a tunnel connected to it. Connected to the tunnel was an exceptionally large crate, in fact there were several crates lined up near the water.

"Alright, Gin, give me the armband." Aizen demanded. He held out his hand, expecting Gin to give him Momo's armband. What happened instead was the armband came flying through the air and bonked him in the head. Aizen groaned, then glared as he snatched the armband off the ground.

"I hope you die you little fluff." Aizen slipped the armband around his left arm, then gestured toward the cage. "This is not your typical immunity challenge. This is an endurance challenge. Any time during the challenge you may leave the cage, but if you do remember you lose the immunity. Last one left in the cage wins."

"Alright, what are you going to put in the cage with us?" Yoruichi snapped, Kaiba hissing his agreement. Yeah, I'm sure it looks like she has finally recovered her drunkenness. "I trust you about as far as I can throw you."

"Nothing too dangerous, now move you little morons. By the way your guy's little pets have to stay out here."

The survivors trooped inside the cage, looking like doomed prisoners on their way to the gas chamber. That was a very good analogy considering this is Aizen we're talking about. Kaiba and Fluffy waited outside the cage, whining to themselves.

Aizen grinned sadistically and opened the door on the first crate. There was a loud howl and five Hollows bounded into the cage. Gin let out a bloodcurdling scream and scrambled up the side of the cage. Hanataro and Yoruichi glanced at one another and quickly followed.

"Sick him boys!" Ichigo yelled, shoving Grimmjow into the oncoming Hollows. "Eat the punk ass Arrancar!"

"AHHHHHH!"

While Ichigo laughed with manacle glee and Grimmjow screamed, Aizen shoved the empty crate aside and pulled the second one in line forward. He grabbed the door and slides it open. There was a loud screech and five Adjuchas leaped into the cage, immediately climbing toward the survivors that had taken refuge on the cage walls.

"Oh my God in Heaven!" Yoruichi dropped to the floor, climbed over top of the still screaming Grimmjow and hid behind Ichigo. Gin in the meantime, did a flying leap from the cage wall and wound up landing on Grimmjow's head. Grimmjow did not find this to be a very good situation, grabbed Gin, and threw him toward Hanataro. Hanataro in turn did a flying kick through the air and knocked Gin out the cage door.

"Gin, you are out of the running." Aizen grinned, despite the splitting headache. "You may now pass out from fear."

"Thank you…" Gin said. He then passed out. Aizen's grin widened and he kicked the second empty crate aside and grabbed for the third one in line. Whistling the theme song to S.W.A.T., Aizen opened the crate door. There was a loud crash then some annoying screeching noises before five Vasto Lordes sprung out of the crate and into the cage.

"Oh hell no!" Ichigo screamed. He scrambled around Yoruichi and shoved her toward the high-class hollows. Grimmjow in the meantime had finally managed to untangle from the Hollows only to have two Vasto Lordes jump onto him from behind and drag him to the cage floor.

"AHHHH!" Hanataro, being the sane and sensible person that he is, decided that it was about time to leave the area. He bolted for door and dove into the sand as one of the Vasto Lordes grabbed for his legs. Fluffy immediately hopped over and licked his face.

"Congrats Hanataro, you are not the wimpiest contestant of this challenge." Aizen grinned, his eyes flicking over to the unconscious Gin. "Of course that isn't really saying much…"

Aizen spun around, as he did so Hanataro flipped him off, and headed to the crates. He shoved the one aside, grabbed for the fourth crate, and opened the door. A few seconds later five giant spiders skittered into the cage.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" At this point Yoruichi had a major freak out and began running around in circles waving her arms around in much the same manner as both Hanataro and Gin usually do. Unknown to everyone present, Yoruichi has Arachnophobia. During the games she had a stunt double do all the scenes that involved spiders. Grimmjow somehow managed to get away from the Vasto Lordes only to get knocked down by Yoruichi's flailing arms and jumped by two spiders.

"Ok this is getting old!" Grimmjow shouted, kicking at one of the spiders. "It's so unfair!"

"Oh shut up you baby!" Ichigo growled, dodging one of the spiders and a Adjuchas' attack. "You sound like Gin!"

Aizen was actually starting to enjoy this whole thing. Whistling I Stand Alone, by Godsmack, he pulled the next crate into line and opened the door.

"AHHHHHHH!" Yoruichi didn't even contemplate sticking around as five super battle droids from Star Wars marched into the cage, firing wildly in every direction. Okay, seriously, how more crazy can this fanfic get?! I mean, first Haruhi Suzumiya, then Death Note, then D-Gray Man, now Star Wars?! Anyways, she jumped over Ichigo, landing on Grimmjow, and dove through the cage door.

"Oh damn Yoruichi." Aizen cringed as Grimmjow's eyes rolled up in the back of his head. "That was cold…real cold."

Grimmjow was in a lot of pain as Aizen grabbed for the next crate and opened the door. So when several giant alligators stormed out, he didn't really seem to care. Ichigo on the other hand did care and quickly beat the shit out of a super battle droid and rips off his gun-arm. While Ichigo did his impersonation of Rambo, Grimmjow crawled out of the cage and collapsed near Hanataro.

"Can I get some ice?" He squeaked in a high pitched voice. "I hurt…"

Even Aizen felt sorry for him, and Aizen felt sorry for few people.

"Ichigo, you win." He tossed the armband to Ichigo as he emerged from the cage still carrying the rip-off gun-arm. "Tribal council tonight guys!"

The survivors beat a hasty retreat as the Hollows, Adjuchas, spiders, Super Battle Droids and alligators from the immunity challenge escaped the cage and took off for parts unknown…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

There is a lot of screaming going on as all the Hollows, Adjuchas, spiders, Super Battle Droids and alligators from the immunity challenge show up to harass our former contestants. Everyone has taken cover and are now in fear for their lives…except Byakuya and Uryu who are still beating the hell out of each other…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who is getting voted off this round?_


	33. Sixteenth Tribal Council

**_Chapter 33: Sixteenth Tribal Council_**

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Well, it's that time again. Yea, you know the part I'm talking about, where the cameraman decides to take his life in his hands and ask the survivors what they think about each other. What gets me, is that despite being the seventh cameraman this show has employed, Cameraman H still doesn't know what happened to the other six. Either he hasn't had the time or inclination to ask or the producers have been lying to him. Knowing this show, I'd go for the latter explanation.

But I digress…

The first person good ole Cameraman H corners is Yoruichi, who still looks rather ill. Mainly because that's what happens to people who drink too much alcohol after recovering from their drunkenness.

**(YORUICHI SHIHOUIN – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I don't feel so good…"_

Cameraman H quickly retreats as Yoruichi tosses her cookies in some nearby bushes. While Yoruichi is busy doing that, our intrepid cameraman corners Ichigo.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Oh there is no doubt who I plan on voting for." Ichigo grins in a very scary Aizen-like way. "I mean honestly, who the hell you think I'm gonna vote for, Yoruichi? Hell no, I'm voting for the little __**beep**__ that pulled a Mike Tyson on my ear!"_

Ichigo then finished up his little Aizen inspired speech by slapping the cameraman for no apparent reason. I think Ichigo may have been exposed to a little too much of Aizen's evil presence. Cameraman H stares at Ichigo for a moment or two before indulging in his own brand of Aizen violence.

"I QUIT!"

Cameraman H then flips his camera around and bashes Ichigo in the head with it several times before stomping off. Ichigo just sort of lays on the ground bleeding and unconscious. Meanwhile the Producer is scrambling to locate a new cameraman…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

The screaming has stopped in the clearing. The area is in a shambles, trees are knocked down and blood covers the ground. Standing amid this carnage is Haruhi Suzumiya holding what is left of a large coconut and a very disheveled stick. The rest of the formally tree bound survivors stare at her like she's lost her mind, except Byakuya and Uryu who are still beating the hell out of each other.

"What in the _BEEP _just happened?" Chad asked. He looks at all the dead hollows, Adjuchas, spiders, alligators and super battle droids, then turns his attention back to the bloody Haruhi. Momo and Toshiro just shake their heads, looking shell shocked. Hisagi shrugs awkwardly, he's still hurting from that fall. Szayel is huddled behind Hisagi whimpering. Soi Fon is shaking violently. Tosen is so nervous he can't even take notes about this recent development. Rangiku is still unconscious.

"I got mad." Haruhi says coolly. "Unfortunately I'm a lot like my dear uncle when I'm mad."

As soon as Haruhi lifts her head so the others can see her eyes, the entire assembly of formerly tree bound survivors let out a bloodcurdling scream. This seems to finally get Byakuya and Uryu's attentions, not to mention wake up Rangiku.

"What's all…the…" Uryu trails off, staring at Haruhi. "Whoa, Byakuya um…there is something about Haruhi you should know…"

Byakuya starts to tell Uryu to shut the hell up, when he sees what Uryu is talking about. Haruhi's beautiful brown eyes are gone, replaced by lovely yellow cat-like eyes. She grins, sending shivers up everyone's spines.

"Yea, I did sort of forget to mention that I was wearing colored contact lenses…my bad…"

There is an audible _plop_ as each and every person present faints in a heap…including the two mice…

"I seem to get that reaction a lot…" Haruhi sighs and prepares to wake up her fellow survivors when the sound of a chopper draws her attention…

* * *

**IMPORTANT NEWS BREAK!**

_We once again see Nanao, at her desk at the Shinigami Women's Association meeting room. "The incident in Soul Society has escalated into a full courtroom riot…we go live to Kiyone Kotetsu in the field…" Nanao said._

_We now see Kiyone at the entrance of the court house. "Thank you Nanao. It is now day two in the Gotei 13 VS Espada Courtroom Blowout. Since our last report the estimated death toll now stands nine hollows and six Soul Reapers. We are still not allowed into the courtroom and police have yet to formulate a plan of attack. An informant at the scene reports that Yamamoto has called in the Special Forces to help his side while Nnoitra has called in the Bounts have come to help his side, reportedly only asking for one man. We are…"_

_The camera swivels around as a Hollow comes flying out of one of the upper floor windows of the courthouse and splatters messily into the pavement. The hollow is quickly followed by three Soul Reapers and a Bount named Yoshi and some heavy gunfire._

"_It seems reinforcements have arrived. Death Toll: 10 Hollows, 9 Soul Reapers and 1 Bount…" Kiyone said._

"_We now return you to the program already in progress." Nanao said._

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

The Las Noches tribe arrives at the tribal council area and uttered speechless by a very unusual surprise. Instead of Aizen and his usual evil grins and laughs, they find Haruhi. Though I think they are more surprised by the yellow eyes and her dressed in Aizen's Espada clothing, then actually finding her at the tribal council area. Haruhi grins, only a tad evilly, and motions for them to sit down.

"I'm sure all of you are more than slightly surprised by this development." Haruhi's tone is a tad bit colder than usual. "It seems that there is some kind of altercation between Gotei 13 and the Espada in Soul Society. Apparently, Aizen got called back to work and his Gotei 13 contract supercedes his Survivor Contract. So until he gets done doing whatever it is that he is doing, I will be your host."

The remaining five survivors look at one another, trying to decide whether this is an improvement or not. In the meantime Kaiba and Fluffy seem to have taking a liking to Haruhi and are begging her for treats. Finally Ichigo speaks up.

"Um Haruhi, can we vote now?" Ichigo asked.

"Sure, no problem." Haruhi said. "First, Ichigo, would you like to give up your immunity?"

"Oh hell no!"

"Didn't think so, but I had to ask. Well then, go vote."

Ichigo heads to the voting jar, writes out the same name eleven times, and holds up the card.

"Grimmjow I hate you more than I have ever hated anyone in this world. I actually hate you more now than I did during our fights at Karakura Town and Las Noches. I hope you die a horrible death someday that is both painful and messy."

Ichigo drops the card in the jar, heads back to his seat, and sits down. Gin is up next. He writes out the same name four times and holds up the card.

"Yoruichi, you are scary."

He sniffled a bit, drops the card in the pot, and takes his seat. Hanataro is next. He writes out the same name five times and holds up the card.

"Gin I have no clue what your damage is. I mean I really didn't want to do you any harm, but this whole paranoid thing is getting on my nerves. So could you just leave now before I am forced to act more manly than my character suggests by repeatedly beating the hell out of you?"

Hanataro smiles, drops the card in the pot, and takes his seat. Yoruichi is next. She stumbles up to the pot, writes out the same name three times, and holds up the card.

"I want to go home…I don't feel good…"

She drops the card in the pot, bypasses her seat, and tosses her cookies in some nearby bushes. Grimmjow is the last to vote. He writes out the same name five times and holds up the card.

"I wanted to vote for Ichigo, but he has immunity. Therefore I must vote for the little cross dressing fluff as he is starting to annoy me."

Grimmjow drops the card in the pot and takes his seat.

"I'll read out the votes." Haruhi quickly collects the pot, places it in front of the tribe and counts out the votes as the cage with the jury comes into view. Our cage bound contestants do not look all that pleased, but they appear to have a rousing game of strip poker going on. From the looks of things, the girls are winning.

"Alright, with eleven votes…Grimmjow Jaegerjaques you are the sixteenth person voted out of Survivor and have been deemed the biggest idiot this week. Please bring me your torch."

"Make me."

At this statement the other four survivors quickly scurry as far away from Grimmjow as possible as the Arrancar transforms into his Zanpakuto Form. They aren't as stupid as they look you know. Haruhi sighs heavily and walks over to Grimmjow calmly.

"Just because I happen to be a good guy and am a girl does not mean I will not beat you like a red headed step child…no offense to the viewing audience intended…so why do you have to provoke me?"

_Due to the graphic nature of the following scene I am afraid we will only be able to provide you with audio content…please think of happy thoughts while this audio is playing…_

Yoruichi: Oh my god…

Hanataro: Oh hell is an arm supposed to bend like that?

Grimmjow: AHHHHHH!

…_**smack…**_

Haruhi: That was mildly painful…

…_**CRAAAAACK…**_

Grimmjow: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ichigo: Kick his _BEEP_!

Grimmjow: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Haruhi: Would you be so kind as to stop screaming in my ear?

Grimmjow: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_We now return you to the program…_

Haruhi tossed what was left of Grimmjow into the cage, splattering everyone present with blood, then smiled at the remaining survivors.

"Well now, only four of you left. I'll see you tomorrow for immunity."

The survivors beat a hasty retreat…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_More Aizen-like violence from Haruhi…_

_Yet again…an immunity challenge…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Ichigo: Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow/ Grimmjow_

_Gin: Yoruichi/ Yoruichi/ Yoruichi/ Yoruichi_

_Hanataro: Gin/ Gin/ Gin/ Gin/ Gin_

_Yoruichi: Yoruichi/ Yoruichi/ Yoruichi_

_Grimmjow: Gin/ Gin/ Gin/ Gin/ Gin_

Ryo: And there you go ladies and gentlemen, with Grimmjow eliminated; only four survivors remain…looks like we are near the end of this story. Stay tune and read and review! And remember the final four…

**Ichigo Kurosaki, Gin Ichimaru, Hanataro Yamada and Yoruichi Shihouin**

_**Who will emerge victorious?!?!**_


	34. Mealworms Anyone?

_**Chapter 34: Mealworms Anyone?**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Well, it's a pretty uneventful day at the camp this morning…yea I know, it's freaking me out too. Outside of Yoruichi finally getting over her illness and the new cameraman, Cameraman I, running around bothering people…all is quiet. Speaking of a new cameraman, Cameraman H was recently arrested for destruction of property, namely the camera he broke over Ichigo's head. Oddly enough he thinks that prison is far preferable to being on the island with these lunatics. Actually, I'm starting to think he might be right, in fact…

Uh oh, looks like something interesting is about to happen…let's watch…

"So, how does it feel, now that we are all in the final four?" Ichigo poked at the fire, throwing on another log as he, Hanataro and Gin sat around the fire.

"Well, I suspect that you guys are now secretly thinking of outwitting each other in hopes of being the sole survivor to win the million dollars." Hanataro said.

"Whatever, I hope one of us wins the immunity challenge today so that we can all vote Yoruichi out in the next tribal council." Ichigo said.

"Why?" Gin asked, looking interested.

"Because she's a woman! And you know women. They may look like weaklings, but they have cunning personalities and intelligence! If she stays, she may plan to backstab all of us out until she remains the last contestant and wins the million dollar prize. Besides, she's a slut. She thinks she's so sexy with her tight pants, fine body and nice ass. I suppose a nice way to put it might be she has loose morals. Or you could call her a nymphomaniac…maybe…"

Ichigo glances up and sees that Hanataro and Gin have gone white as sheets. He cringes and turns slowly to look behind him and finds Yoruichi standing there looking very Aizen-like and clutching a very large branch in her hand.

"Loose morals…nymphomaniac…slut…"

Gin and Hanataro quickly scurry away as Yoruichi beats Ichigo senselessly with a large amount of Aizen-like glee and laughter.

* * *

**On the beach…**

Haruhi smiles evilly as she was very happy that she got to indulge in her darker side for once.

Speaking of her darker side, the Las Noches tribe has just wandered onto the beach. All of them are walking far from Yoruichi, who still looks pissed off.

"Good morning." Haruhi says sweetly. "How is everyone?"

"Yeah, just peachy." Ichigo groaned, who now has a black eye and several bruises all over his body.

"Just get on with the immunity challenge." Yoruichi growled angrily.

"Very well, time for the challenges." Haruhi said.

"Whoa!" Ichigo holds up a hand, shaking his head. "_Challenges_…as in plural?"

"Oh my, did I forget to mention that one of the challenges was a reward challenge?" Haruhi laughed, a cross between Aizen and of all people Gin…Gin thinks it's kinda sexy. "Forgive me. Yes, two challenges. The first is for immunity, the second is for this…"

Haruhi steps aside so the survivors can see the prize, a juicy Prime Rib steak, fried potatoes, and a case of Corona. The survivors then begin to drool…

"Now then, for immunity. This way please." Haruhi walks down the beach, leaving several heavily armed soldiers to guard the reward challenge. The tribe members trail after Haruhi, casting longing glances at the reward.

"This challenge is very simple. All you have to do is capture a black flag like this one." Haruhi held up a black flag and waved it at the contestants. At this point I would normally say the flag says _'Aizen for Supreme World Leader'_ but Aizen is not the host right now, is he? Instead the flag says:

_Down with the Espada…Sosuke Aizen is afraid of mice, the big weenie!_

Aizen, watching the show at the courthouse in Soul Society, is not pleased while several Bleach fans at home are laughing their asses off. Haruhi smiles brightly and whistles.

"First one to bring me the flag and put it in my hand wins immunity…have fun!"

Haruhi quickly moves out of camera range as a loud growl reverberates through the island. The four survivors cringe then scream as a huge Vasto Lorde shambled into view with a little black flag tied around its neck.

"What the _beep_?!" Ichigo screamed.

"Oh hell no!" Gin yelled.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Hanataro screamed.

"Staying at Ryo's apartment is better than this!" Yoruichi yelled.

While our four contestants look ready to pass out, Haruhi sits by drinking Mountain Dew. Kaiba and Fluffy are at her feet, begging for treats. Meanwhile the four contestants finally realize that a million dollars is at stake and go for the flag.

For once, Ichigo decides not to go run in like a moron, instead he circles around to the side and grabs Vasto Lorde by the leg…it really doesn't do much good, but at least he's being safe. Hanataro on the other hand looks to have found his spine and is using Gin as a shield to try and get closer. Gin for his part, is getting the shit beat out of him by swipes from the Vasto Lorde. Yoruichi has already been captured by the Vasto Lorde and looks a great deal like Faye Ray in King Kong.

"Let go of me!" Yoruichi screamed, pounding her fists on the Vasto Lorde's fist.

Meanwhile, Ichigo has scrambled up to the Vasto Lorde's back and is trying to untie the flag. Hanataro throws Gin at the Vasto Lorde and scrambles up by Ichigo, elbowing him in the ribs. Yoruichi is still screaming and now Gin is screaming because the Vasto Lorde has him held in the other hand.

"I'm too young to die!" Gin sputters, crying. "Help me!"

Ichigo and Hanataro finally get the flag and tumble off of the Vasto Lorde where they then proceed to roll on the ground trying to kill each other for it. Anyways, you may seem notice that I seem to say Vasto Lorde a lot. Vasto Lorde, Vasto Lorde, Vasto Lorde, Vasto Lorde. Heh. Anyways, Yoruichi now bites Vasto Lorde's fist and falls to the ground on top of the boys, now adding her own kicking and screaming to the fight. The Vasto Lorde himself starts screaming and covers his ears, which are now bleeding from Gin's screaming. As Gin lands in the middle of the fight, the Vasto Lorde runs off crying…still covering his ears.

"Oh my, I hope everyone in the clearing will be alright…" Haruhi said.

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

"She's scary." Momo shudders, nuzzling closer to Toshiro. "It's like a female Aizen."

"Technically she _is_ a female Aizen." Tosen points out taking some notes.

"Stuff it Tosen." Rangiku mutters. "You know what she meant."

"Man, that girl…" Uryu whistled. "She's something alright."

"That's what scares me." Byakuya does in fact look a bit paler than usual, especially with Szayel hanging onto his neck and blubbering like a three year old.

"Mommy!" Szayel cried.

Chad and Soi Fon enter the clearing at a dead run, screaming their heads off. They pass the group and head out of the clearing still screaming. They are quickly joined by everyone else when the Vasto Lorde enters the clearing…

* * *

**Back at the beach…**

"Congratulations Gin, you win."

Haruhi drops the pendant to Gin, who moans his thanks. Ichigo, Hanataro and Yoruichi appear to be the same hurting conditions.

"Time for the reward challenge."

A long table is wheeled out with four bowls of mealworms sitting on it. This causes the four contestants to drop their jaws.

"All you have to do is eat the most amount of mealworms. You have to eat the entire bowl. If you can't get it all down or you get sick, you are out of the contest…ready?"

There is a universal _**NO**_, but Haruhi doesn't seem to notice.

"GO!"

Ichigo and Yoruichi manage to dig in, swallowing twenty mealworms in record time. Gin gets down thirty…before passing out. Hanataro is still trying to crawl to the table with two broken ribs and a broken arm.

"Mmm…hmm…." Ichigo muffled uneasily with his mealworms in his mouth.

Yoruichi was about to swallow ten more mealworms…when suddenly, her stomach feels funny again. "Oh god, not again." Yoruichi groaned. She quickly covers her mouth, runs away from the table and toss her cookies in a nearby bush. After that, she sways a bit and passes out.

"Looks like Gin and Yoruichi are both out." Haruhi said.

Hanataro finally makes to the table and holds out a mealworm in disgust. "Do I really have to?" He whimpered. He then swallows the mealworm and eats it. And suddenly, his eyes widened.

"OH YEAH BABY! TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!!!" Hanataro yelled like he is on crack. He then holds up forty mealworms with both of his hands and consumes all of them in his mouth.

Just as Hanataro happily munches his mealworms, Ichigo runs away from the table, tosses his cookies in the same bush Yoruichi tosses her cookies in before and later, staggers away from the bush a bit and passes out near Yoruichi. This of course leaves Hanataro the winner.

"Congrats Hanataro, cutie." Haruhi gives him a kiss on the cheek and the Prime Rib. Hanataro blushes brightly and scarfs down the food in five seconds flat, saving the beer for last. "See you tonight at Tribal Council."

Haruhi heads off camera as Hanataro hauls his beer back to camp. Yoruichi and Ichigo are mumbling to herself about the pretty colors, while Gin snores.

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

Our former tree bound contestants are still running from the Vasto Lorde, which is still crashing after them.

"I _beeping_ hate this show!" Byakuya screamed at the top of his lungs.

_**Next Time on Survivor:**_

_Who must join the others in that cramped little cage?_


	35. Seventeenth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 35: Seventeenth Tribal Council**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Oh yes, that time again and Cameraman I is right on top of things today. In fact he looks downright excited at the prospect of interviewing our survivors. Considering what happened to the other cameramen, I'm going to have to guess that he's been smoking crack after the reward challenge in order not to feel afraid while interviewing the contestants.

Be that as it may, he's trotted on over to Gin to get his opinion on the up and coming vote.

**(GIN ICHIMARU – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I have to get rid of Hanataro…he's still really, really, really, really, really…"_

_Cameraman I listens patiently as Gin continues to tally up __reallys__. After twenty minutes he is apparently ready to finish his initial thought._

"…_really, really, scary. Plus he used me as a human shield, which I really didn't like too much." Gin frowns evilly and this time, the glare is so evil that not even his bikini can ruin the effect._

Cameraman I nods vigorously, pats Gin on the head, and bounds off to his next victim. Next victim being Ichigo, who is laying flat on his back near the fire, with his eyes as wide as dinner plates. I guess he is still disgusted and shocked about the mealworms that he was force to eat during the reward challenge.

**(ICHIGO KUROSAKI – Las Noches Tribe)**

"…_Yoruichi…" he mumbles tiredly. "…Yoruichi…she hit me…gotta get rid of her…I hurt…"_

Cameraman I clucks his tongue and tosses a blanket over Ichigo before bounding off to aggravate Yoruichi.

**(YORUICHI SHIHOUIN – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Oh I know who is going down." She cackles evilly going a bit cross-eyed. "Oh yes…"_

_Yoruichi then proceeds to laugh in a very Aizen-like way, while swaying back and forth. After several minutes of this, she falls over in the sand and passes out. Despite being unconscious, she's still laughing._

Cameraman I just shakes his head, grins widely, and heads toward Hanataro. Now Hanataro seems to be having a great time just sitting in the sand with his arms flung around Kaiba and Fluffy while drinking his bottles of beer which he won in the reward challenge. And yes, he's as drunk as Yoruichi was in the last few chapters.

**(HANATARO YAMADA – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I dooooooon't knoooooow…" Hanataro then giggles in a very Gin-like way. "I wanna be a mongoose dog!"_

Cameraman I bursts out laughing and flops down next to Hanataro, Kaiba, and Fluffy. He produces another case of Corona and the four of them proceed to drink heavily.

* * *

**At the Tribal Council area…**

Haruhi yawns loudly as she sits on Aizen's lawn chair. While wearing a pair of sunglasses. "Where the hell are they?" Haruhi glances at her watch. "This is beginning to get quite boring."

"Boring my ass!"

Haruhi turns slightly to see a very disheveled Aizen walking toward her from the woods. She cocks her head, giving him a good once over.

"You look like hell, is that a gunshot wound in your chest?" She asked.

"Four of them actually, plus a few stab wounds." Aizen seems uninterested in his injuries though. "But I'm here to talk about a certain black flag that was used in a certain immunity challenge."

"Oh." Haruhi sighed and pulled off her sunglasses. "I suppose we have to have a big climactic fight scene now."

"Holy _beeping_ shit!" Aizen's jaw actually hit the ground. "When the _beep_ did you get _beeping_ yellow eyes?"

"Oh, these?" Haruhi smirked, dropping her sunglasses on the ground very dramatically. "I might have fibbed a bit when I said I was the Haruhi version that still worked for the Espada…my bad…"

"Ooooh…great…"

* * *

_**IMPORTANT NEWS BREAK!**_

_We once again see Nanao sitting at her desk at the Shinigami Women's Association meeting room. "There has been a significant development at the courthouse, we go live to Kiyone Kotetsu…" Nanao said, slipping up her glasses._

_We now see Kiyone Kotetsu standing in front of the entrance of the Soul Society courthouse._

"_Good evening, the fight between Gotei 13 and the Espada appears to be at a standstill. Both sides look to have run out of reinforcements to call on and various dangerous Zanpakuto attacks to throw at each other. Earlier the last remaining reinforcement for the Espada, left after completely snapping over an episode of Survivor. Cue the tape!"_

_Kiyone's face is replaced with a view of the courthouse as several innocent bystanders come running out of the building and down the steps. A few seconds later Aizen comes bolting out the doors, looking really pissed off._

"_YOU!" A voice shouted._

_Aizen turned to the source of the voice. It was Light Yagami, standing twenty feet away from the entrance of the courthouse. Light's shout followed by several gun shots, four of which hit Aizen in the chest. The gunshots do not appear to hurt him and only seem to piss him off more. What follows is a lot of cursing and Light jumping Aizen from behind with a combat knife in his hand. After stabbing him repeatedly, Aizen beats him roughly about the head and shoulders, tosses him in a nearby dumpster, hops in a conveniently placed Gotei 13 chopper, and flies off._

_A few seconds later, Light groans in pain as he climbs himself out of the dumpster. But immediately when Light steps out, a voice yelled, "Get back here!"_

_The yell was followed by a few gunshots which Light quickly dodged. Light screams like a fangirl as he runs away from L, who is chasing him from behind with a pistol._

_Then, after the two Death Note characters left, Allen Walker, who still looks drunk and just wearing a pair of white boxers, jumps into view and does the Macarena dance in front of the camera. Or course, he was quickly shoved away by Lavi. Lenalee then quickly went in front of the camera and chuckled nervously. "Don't mind about our friend. Just carry on your business. Hee hee." She scratches the back of her head as she sweatdropped._

_The tape ends and once again Kiyone stands before the camera._

"_As of now, the death count stands at: 35 Hollows – 25 Soul Reapers – 7 Bounts -- 10 Special Forces members -- And two Tax Attorneys that happened to wander into the courtroom…which lead to the only truce between Gotei 13 and the Espada through this entire fiasco. Right now, there is a standoff between the two factions…we'll bring you an…"_

_**KA--BOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

_The street erupts in pandemonium as the courthouse blows to smithereens, raining various debris over everyone present. Seconds later Yamamoto and Nnoitra stumble out of the rubble._

"_That was not fair!" Nnoitra stomps his foot, shaking a finger at Yamamoto. "What the hell man!"_

"_Oh stuff it moron." Yamamoto snaps, raking some stone chips out of his bald head. "I didn't have much choice!"_

"_Kiss my ass Yamamoto! You didn't have to blow up the damn building!" Nnoitra looks madder than Aizen did earlier. "You even had a damn computer telling us how much time was left…FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THERE WAS A FLORESCENT GREEN TIMER OVER OUR HEADS!"_

"_Well excuse me! These things have to end like that!"_

"_What, do you Gotei 13 assholes invest in dynamite or something!"_

"_Well it would seem the matter is closed for now." Kiyone is ignoring the ongoing argument behind her. "Back to you in the studio, Nanao."_

_Nanao blinks several times, looking confused and frightened…_

"_Uh…"_

_**BACK TO THE SHOW ALREADY IN PROGRESS!**_

* * *

_**Tribal Council area…**_

Ichigo, Hanataro, Yoruichi and Gin skidded to a halt, their mouths hung open. In the middle of the council area, Aizen and Haruhi were engaged in the family rivalry to end all family rivalries…they were doing their best to kill each other in a very painful way.

"Gin you gonna…OWW!" Haruhi rubbed at her face and then bitch slapped Aizen. "…give up your immunity?"

"Uh…no…"

"Then vote you insolent little minions of stupidity!" Aizen snapped, tackling Haruhi to the ground. "NOW DAMN IT!"

Yoruichi is the first to run over and scribble out the same name six times. She holds up the card with shaking hands.

"Um…Ichigo, yea for like the stuff you said and junk…"

Yoruichi grimaces, drops the card in the pot, and hurries back to hide behind Fluffy. Gin makes a mad dash to the pot, scribbles out the same seven times, and holds up the card…looking more scared than usual.

"Um…Hanataro is a big meanie."

He drops the card, missing the pot, and rushes back to hide behind Fluffy and Yoruichi. Ichigo actually looks like he's keeping his cool as he power walks to the pot, fills out the same name six times, and holds up the card.

"Yoruichi, for trying to bash my brains in…you must leave the island."

He hurries back, taking a position very close to Fluffy. Hanataro is last. He staggers up to the jar, Kaiba trailing after him, and looks completely oblivious to the fighting behind him. He scribbles out the same name three times, wasting a few minutes drawing pretty pictures around said name, and holds up the card.

"Ichigo…you suck…hehe."

He drops the card in the pot and staggers back to the others, Kaiba in tow. Now comes the fun part, the actual counting of the votes.

Haruhi kicks Aizen in the knee and bolts for the jar. Just as she gets her hands on it, Aizen jumps her, knocking her to the ground. The jar hit's the ground, the votes spilling out over the ground.

"Get off!"

Haruhi elbowed Aizen in the nose and scrambles for the votes.

"Ichigo…Ichigo…Yoruichi…Hanataro…Yoruichi…ACK!"

Aizen pushes Haruhi's face into the sand, bracing a knee in her back.

"My job! Yoruichi…Hanataro…Ichigo…Yoruichi…OWWW!"

Haruhi throws a bit of sand in Aizen's eyes and as he falls sideways, she jumps up and kicks him in the face.

"Butt out Aizie! Hanataro…Hanataro…Ichigo…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And suddenly poor Haruhi is airborne…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

"This is getting ridiculous." Soi Fon whined, flopping down on a nearby rock. "Where the _beep_ are we?"

"I have no idea." Toshiro sighed. "As long as that thing isn't following us, I don't care either."

Suddenly a flying body landed on Soi Fon, knocking her out cold. The ex-survivors gather around the two women, making a loose circle. The 'body' glances up, looking quite the worse for wear with several bruises on her face and her clothes are badly torn.

"Owww."

Haruhi's head then flops over as she too falls unconscious. Uryu glances at Byakuya, who shrugs…

* * *

**Back at Tribal Council…**

"Come here you!"

Aizen snatches Ichigo by the collar and throws him in the cage with the others. He then spins around and glares at the last three survivors.

"We're done now."

The other three nod then take off like speed injected rabbits. Except Hanataro, who is drunkenly trying to console Fluffy.

_**Next Time On Survivor…**_

_Our happy Cameraman makes a friend…_

_The evil author changes the rules once again…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Yoruichi: Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo_

_Gin: Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro/Hanataro_

_Ichigo: Yoruichi/Yoruichi/Yoruichi/Yoruichi/Yoruichi/Yoruichi_

_Hanataro: Ichigo/Ichigo/Ichigo_

Ryo: There, Ichigo has finally been eliminated. Are you guys happy now? Anyways, next chapter is the final immunity challenge. Oooh, I can feel the suspense already. Stay tune and read and review!

Also, if you are an IchiRuki fan, check out my newest IchiRuki original story 'My Guardian, My Love'. It's an AU story, so that means it's not related to the anime and the characters don't have shinigami powers. Anyways, hope you guys can check it out.


	36. Immunity Challenge Blowout!

Ryo: Hi guys! Get ready for the explosive final immunity challenge! Also, thanks for 200 reviews, folks! And our 200th reviewer was…

Jean Kazuhiza!

Have some cookies, my friend! Also, My Guardian, My Love is a success! Thanks for your reviews, guys! Expect the next chapter up soon! Anyways, back to this story, let's go!

_**Chapter 36: Immunity Challenge Blowout!**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Cameraman I skips about the camp like that moron he is. I'm staring to seriously think that the producers of the show are giving him drugs to make him this damn perky. Be that as it may, the show must go on. Not that there appears to be a whole lot happening at the moment.

Hanataro is playing fetch with Kaiba and Fluffy, since Fluffy is still upset over Ichigo getting voted off. Yoruichi is sleeping in and Gin is hiding in a nearby palm tree. No, I have no idea why he's climbed up a palm tree armed with only a stick and a few coconuts. Maybe he still thinks Yoruichi and Hanataro are going to hunt him down and do icky things to him.

"Hey! Little scaredy man-like thing!" Cameraman I waves at Gin, holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a case of Mountain Dew. "Come on down, I'll give you some yummy beer and Mountain Dew!"

Gin attempts to climb down, slips, and falls right on top of Yoruichi. What ensues is violence which is not suitable to show the viewing audience…

* * *

**On the beach…**

Aizen doesn't look too happy, in fact he looks downright ticked off. I suppose all the bandages wrapped around his chest isn't making his day any brighter. Then again, it is time for the immunity challenge and I suspect he'll be perking up any moment now.

As if cued the last three remaining survivors traipse onto the beach, Aizen's face breaks into a huge evil grin. The three survivors glance at each other, shudder, and resign themselves to the horrors to come.

"Well good morning to you all. I'm sorry to say my lovely niece will not be joining us today. However I…"

"AIZEN!"

Aizen tries to run, he really does, but the strength and speed of the leader of the Espada is simply no match for the tenacity and determination of a Bleach-obsessed fanatic. Aizen hits the ground face first, with the author sitting on his back.

"How's my favorite villain doing?" Ryo Muang smirked.

"I've been better…" Aizen groaned.

"Well I just popped by to tell you that this immunity actually does matter. You cannot give it away."

Ryo then pats Aizen's head, leaps to his feet, and skips off. Aizen is actually crying with relief at this point…

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

"Will you people stop staring at me!"

Everyone jumped as Haruhi's voice cut through the area like a hot knife through butter.

"Yeesh! You'd think I was some kind of freaky monster!"

It should be noted that as she was ranting…she had knocked over three full sized palm trees. Needless to say, things are getting interesting on the island today…

* * *

**Back on the beach…**

"Now then." Aizen dusts himself off, regaining some of his normal evil persona. "Time for the immunity challenge."

As usual there is a universal groan from the survivors, which really isn't as effective as it used to be since there is only three of them left. Aizen's grin widened as he handed each person a map and a pencil.

"The immunity is out there somewhere. What you have is a map of the island. Of course none of the traps, Hollows, or other dangerous things out there are marked on it, hence the reason I was nice enough to give you the pencil. Off you go!"

Gin, Hanataro and Yoruichi glance at each other, not at all sure they really want to go wandering around the island. I mean besides all the Hollows and other dangerous things and creatures that is wandering around, thanks to previous challenges, they all have no doubts that Aizen has other not so pleasant surprises for them.

But as usual they think about that million dollars and off they go. You know I'm starting to think they don't get any royalty checks for any of the games. I mean if they were getting even a small cut of all the Bleach related merchandise out there…well let's just say that a million dollars would be like pocket change.

Anyway…

Yoruichi heads right, Gin heads left, while Hanataro, Kaiba, and Fluffy go up the middle. Sounds like a bad pass play in football. Be that as it may, they are off like fangirls…wait for it…on _**mixed drugs and beer**_.

I bet you thought I was going to say crack didn't you? Well you were _**WRONG**_…MWAHAHAHAHA…

Ahem…but I digress…

* * *

**Yoruichi's location…**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yoruichi ran by doing about fifty miles an hour, which I think it's possible for her since she is the former general of the Special Forces and nicknamed 'the goddess of flash' back in Soul Society, followed closely by six Hollows, three Menos Grandes, and two Adjuchas with machine guns. I guess it's pretty obvious she is not having any luck finding that immunity item.

* * *

**Gin's location…**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Oh look, Gin found the Vasto Lorde from the last immunity challenge…how nice…

* * *

**Hanataro's location…**

"Good boy Kaiba!"

Hanataro pats Kaiba on the head. Kaiba jumps up and down, dropping the upper half of a hollow on the ground. Fluffy comes hopping up, an Adjuchas hanging out of his rather large mouth.

"Good boy Fluffy, now drop the Adjuchas."

Fluffy does, as Hanataro pats him on the head. The Adjuchas quickly dissolves, leaving behind only a machine gun and several clips. Hanataro grabs the gun and clips, then tosses Fluffy and Kaiba a couple of Milk Bones and consults his map.

"Well, looks like we've got this area pretty much cleaned out. On to the next!"

* * *

**Somewhere on the island…**

The former tree-bound, and now completely-lost survivors, stop to take a break near a small stream. Everyone is still staring at Haruhi like she might decide to turn into Charles Manson and go on a sadistic Gin-like crazy killing spree. Seeing as how we've already seen several of the survivors do Aizen-like violence, it might be interesting to see some Gin-like craziness…at least it would break the monotony.

Haruhi of course is ignoring this. In fact she appears to be acting a bit more like Aizen than perhaps everyone present if comfortable with. With the exception of Byakuya, Uryu and Hisagi, who think it's kinda sexy.

"Ok, we have…to…go…" Haruhi trails off as six Hollows, three Menos Grandes, and two Adjuchas…with machine guns…go running by screaming like five year old girls. Several silent seconds pass, while the former survivors try to figure out just what the hell is going on. Then the silence is broken by a loud Xena: Warrior Princess yell and a strange flapping noise.

"HOLY SHIT!" Haruhi dives out of the way as Yoruichi goes hopping by at top speed. I should mention the reason she is hopping is because she is riding a very large Panther-like Adjuchas at the moment. Perhaps maybe having just Kaiba is not enough, who knows. Be that as it may, Yoruichi is currently in hot pursuit of her former tormenters. As she passes out of the clearing, Haruhi sits up…brushing some twigs out her hair.

"And you guys were staring at me like _I_ was some kind of freak."

* * *

**Gin's Location…**

Apparently Gin has somehow managed to lose the Vasto Lorde that was following him. In fact he looks very, very relaxed as he…uh…err…arranges flowers. I know, I know, it's creeping me out too. In fact, the only thing creepier than Gin doing lovely flower arrangements is the fact that he's got help from the plant monster from Chapter 28.

"Oh that is just lovely!" Gin squeals, beaming up at the plant monster. "You're very good at this."

Suddenly the camera blinks out and various strange noises are heard. Umm…trust me, you don't want to know what is going on, you'll just get sick…

* * *

**Hanataro's Location…**

"Hrmmm…" Hanataro looks at the can for a moment or two before tossing it over his shoulder. "I don't really care much for canned aerosol cheese. Come on Fluffy and Kaiba."

The two pets yip with happiness and quickly follow Hanataro toward a very strange looking stone structure…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

"I think…OWWW!"

Haruhi stumbles as a can of aerosol cheese bounces off her head and lands in the bushes. She then indulges in a bit of Aizen-like anger, which sort of makes sense because she is Aizen's niece after all, by snapping several palm trees in half. While she's doing that, Momo retrieves the can of cheese.

"Ummm, is anybody hungry enough to actually eat this?"

There is a universal _NO_ from the former survivors. Momo prepares to toss the can back into the bushes when Tosen snags it out of her hand.

"I have an idea. According to my calculations the chemical makeup of aerosol cheese is consistent with several ingredients found in paint and concrete. I believe we can utilize this to our advantage." Tosen said. You can hear the sounds of various jungle animals in the silence that follows Tosen's extremely technical explanation of aerosol cheese. "Umm, that is…"

"What's the plan?" Haruhi snaps, finishing off her last palm tree and cracking her neck. "I understand that aerosol cheese is highly dense and has the same hardening agent as glue, but I do not quite see how that is going to be a benefit to us."

You can now add Tosen to the list of people who now find Haruhi irresistibly sexy. The fact that the four men now drool every time Haruhi bends over does not appear to be pleasing any of the women present, especially Rangiku, who is now fuming angrily because Haruhi is now getting more sexier and hotter than her and her breasts.

"Well, since the cheese will harden relatively fast and will not dissipate for quite some time, I thought we could use it to signal for help. The fact that the cheese is colored with yellow dye number five and orange dye number seven is an added bonus, as it will make the message that much easier to see." Tosen explained.

There is a slight muffle as the survivors turn their heads from Tosen to Haruhi, looking for an explanation.

"I see, we could use the cheese to write a _help_ message. A very good idea Tosie." Haruhi said.

The nickname 'Tosie' made Tosen blushes a bright crimson, making the other three men gag. Szayel still thinks Haruhi is his Mommy, so he's not currently a love interest at this time. The women are glaring daggers at Haruhi, while Tosen writes the message.

The plan goes relatively well, until the scent of aerosol cheese reached the nostrils of the nearby Vasto Lorde. Everything sort of goes to hell from there as the Vasto Lorde comes crashing into the clearing and chases after our poor formerly tree bound survivors…

* * *

**Yoruichi's Location…**

Yoruichi slows Liu Kang to a stop and hops to the ground, glancing at her map. It would appear that Yoruichi is a rather large fan of Mortal Kombat, hence the reason she has named the Adjuchas, Liu Kang. If you haven't already realized it, which I'm pretty sure you have, these people are not right…not in the slightest.

"Let's see here…ummm…" As Yoruichi looks over her map, trying to figure out where the hell she is, Liu Kang hops around eating random hollows that wander into his path. After several minutes she finally realizes, after seeing Aizen in a lawn chair, that she is back on the beach. This observation results is a long string of very unladylike obscenities that are not fit for the viewing audience.

Aizen is finding it very amusing…until Yoruichi hops back on Liu Kang and starts chasing after him…

* * *

**Gin's Location…**

"This is really nice of you."

The plant monster, hereafter referred to as Samus…Gin is a fan of Metroid, go figure…shakes one of its vines at him, rather lovingly I might add, as she carries him through the jungle.

Let's see what Hanataro is up to before I throw up…

* * *

**Brad's Location…**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Hanataro comes flying out of the freaky temple astride Fluffy, with Kaiba just a step behind, and several dozen giant spiders running after them. I guess Aizen wasn't lying when he said he'd put out some traps. On the plus side, Hanataro is holding the immunity necklace…Momo's armband…and has Tetsuzaemon Iba riding behind him. I was kinda wondering where he went after that one immunity challenge…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

"RUN FASTER!"

Haruhi is leading the pack, with Sparky and his brother in her bra, and Szayel riding piggyback. Byakuya is just behind with Chad, who has fainted, flung over his shoulder. Tosen and Uryu are running a close third carrying Momo, who has fainted as well. Toshiro and Rangiku are running neck and neck in fourth place, carrying Hisagi who is babbling like an idiot. Soi Fon is bringing up the rear, screaming her head off, and no one seems to care. In fact it looks like everyone is hoping she gets eaten sometime in the next two minutes, by the Vasto Lorde that is still chasing them in hopes to slow the Vasto Lorde down.

Just as the former survivors burst into a huge clearing, Haruhi runs face first into Aizen. As they both topple to the ground, Yoruichi leaps over them on Liu Kang and accidentally lands on Toshiro, Rangiku and Hisagi. Two seconds later Gin and Samus come onto the scene, trip over Aizen and Haruhi and land on top of poor Byakuya and Chad. If this wasn't bad enough, suddenly Hanataro, Kaiba, and Fluffy arrive on the scene, trip over the people who have already fallen to the ground and land on top of poor Tosen, Uryu and Momo.

There is several moans of pain, mixed with screaming from Soi Fon…Liu Kang is trying to eat her…as the three dozen giant spiders appear on the scene. What happens next can only be described as uncontrolled chaos.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Haruhi shrieked as she is strangling Aizen with extreme prejudice, while poor Szayel lays unconscious, and Sparky is trying to nibble off Aizen's ear. Needless to say, Aizen is freaking out right now.

Byakuya, Hisagi, Uryu and Tosen are all trying to kill each other over Haruhi.

Rangiku, Chad, Momo and Toshiro are all trying desperately to kill Soi Fon.

Hanataro, Yoruichi and Gin are fighting over the immunity item while their respective pets fight each other and Iba screams his head off for no apparent reason.

During this giant free for all the three dozen giant spiders and the Vasto Lorde just point and laugh at the madness. Finally Hanataro manages to shove the armband into Aizen's hand, completely by accident I might add, and the immunity challenge is over.

The show's Producer soon breaks up the fight, sicking the three dozen giant spiders and the Vasto Lorde on the former survivors. While the severely wounded former survivors, and Iba, run off into the jungle with their pursuers close behind, the Producer herds the three contestants and their pets back to camp, reminding them about the tribal council meeting that night. She then carts off a comatose Aizen into a nearby chopper for some medical attention…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Who will become the final jury member?_

Ryo: Hanataro has the immunity and he will also be the one who decides who get voted off next. Will it be Yoruichi or Gin? Stay tune for the next tribal council! The competition and torment is about to come to an end!


	37. Eighteenth Tribal Council

_**Chapter 37: Eighteenth Tribal Council**_

**Las Noches Tribe…**

Cameraman J glanced around wearily. What happened to Cameraman I, you may be asking? Well it would appear our little drug addict found Aizen's secret stash of hair gel…repeat…_**hair gel**_…and overdosed. May he rest in peace along with several other former Cameramen.

Anyway…

Hanataro is playing with Fluffy, trying not to make eye contact with Yoruichi or Gin. The latter were off on opposite sides of the camp, playing with their respective pets, and trying to come up with ways of getting Hanataro to vote the other off.

Once Ryo Muang had landed, literally on Aizen's head, and explained that Hanataro couldn't get rid of his immunity, both of them realized that poor little Hanataro would be the only one voting. Meaning that one of them was going in the cage and the other was going to the final two.

Needless to say, short of murder, they had to depend completely on their own brainpower and whatever they had that could be used to bribe Hanataro. From the looks of things…well they're starting to think like Aizen, which is really creeping me out.

**(YORUICHI SHIHOUIN – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_Oh I have an excellent plan." Yoruichi laughs in a very Aizen-like way, causing Cameraman J to whimper in a very Hanataro-like way. "It's foolproof."_

**(GIN ICHIMARU – Las Noches Tribe)**

"_I only have one thing I can do." Gin whimpered as Samus patted him on the back with a long vine tentacle. "It's my only chance of getting to the final two!"_

Cameraman J, sensing that things were about to get interesting…not to mention potentially dangerous…went into passive mode and trained his camera on Hanataro and his pet. Two seconds later Gin snuck over and tapped Hanataro lightly on the shoulder.

"Yes Gin?" Hanataro sounded tired, which is why when Gin screamed and jumped ten feet in the air…well let's just say it didn't make a whole lot of sense. After giving Gin ten minutes to calm down, Hanataro cleared his throat. "What is it you want Gin?"

"Ummm…could you not vote for me?"

"Gin, I haven…"

Suddenly Gin scrambled around the side of the log Hanataro was sitting on, grabbed him by the front of the shirt, and jerked Hanataro's head forward so their faces were only inches apart. The only thing keeping Fluffy from attacking was Lady. To say that Hanataro was surprised would be an understatement. "Uh, Gin?" He asked.

"I'll give you an island! I have a very nice one, ok it has some debris littering it and I think some Adjuchas might still be running around. But I swear the hollows are all dead!"

"Gin, I…"

"I don't have any money anymore, curse Enron, but I do have a couple pretty ant objects and three military proofs you could make good money on at e-bay…I would have a signet ring but Ichigo stole it…"

"Gin…"

"What about a date with Rangiku? I could arrange it, it wouldn't be that hard, plus she did say you were kinda cute…she likes the sort of cowardly guys…no offense! Please don't kill me…"

"Gin I was…wait, did you say a date with Rangiku?"

Gin nods frantically as Hanataro ponders about Rangiku…and her big beautiful breasts…

…_20 minutes later…_

Hanataro was throwing some wood on the fire when Yoruichi sauntered over to him, riding Liu Kang…I must comment that Yoruichi is naked right now. Hanataro glanced up, sighed, then went back to tending the fire.

"Hey Yoruichi."

Yoruichi is not pleased. Not only is her foolproof plan not working, but it is a major insult to a woman if you glance up at her naked body and are completely uninterested. What follows is a lot of screaming and violence not fit for the viewing audience…

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

That night, the three remaining contestants entered the tribal council. Aizen's mouth dropped open in astonishment as Yoruichi rode into the tribal council area…still naked. Behind her, Gin is smiling brightly and being carried by Samus, and way in the back being drag in by Kaiba and Fluffy is Hanataro. Hanataro is not doing well, in fact I think Yoruichi may have broken more than a few bones.

Aizen shook his head, getting over the shock of seeing Yoruichi naked, and commenced with the voting.

"Well now, only Hanataro can vote…please proceed." Aizen gestures Hanataro to the pot.

Hanataro groaned and pulled himself across the floor to the voting pot. He scribbled out a single name and held the card above the table for the camera to read…at this time only his hand is visible.

"I hurt…" Hanataro groaned. Instead of dropping the card in the pot, he pulled himself over to Aizen, slid the card into his hand, and produced $5000.00 in one hundred dollar bills from his pants pocket. "Aizen…make it painful…"

Hanataro then shoved the money into the front pocket of Aizen's pants, the pants he won from Lavi, and crawled back to Kaiba and Fluffy where he promptly passed out. Aizen glanced at the money in his pocket, then looked up at Hanataro, Gin and Yoruichi.

"Right, it all comes down to this. Only three left but one of you will be pissed off and be voted off tonight. Once Hanataro's vote is read, the decision is final and the one Hanataro voted for will be the final jury member. I'll now read the vote. The eighteenth person voted out of Survivor is…" Aizen then slowly looks down at the card.

"Oooooh Yoruichiiiiiii!!!"

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

"I'm gonna kill the bitch!"

Since the wild chase through the woods, the former tree bound survivors and now completely lost survivors are looking quite the worse for wear. Haruhi is now shirtless, but still has the two mice in her bra. Byakuya, Uryu and Hisagi are also shirtless…although I think Uryu already was…covered in scratches, and their pants are now nothing more than ripped shorts. Toshiro and Momo now have shorter than short shirts and are also covered in scratches. Rangiku has a black eye and is mumbling to herself. Soi Fon has gone completely comatose. Chad is staying pretty close to Tosen after her head injury and Tosen himself lost his shades and shirt somewhere. As for Szayel, thank god, he finally got his memory back, lost his tank top and also all the stuff in he had stuffed in it such as his catapult, Xbox 360, flat screen plasma TV, laptop, etc., and now has a crush on Haruhi…join the club.

At the moment Byakuya, Uryu, Hisagi and Szayel are trying to keep Haruhi from strangling Iba. Apparently he's been a royal pain since hooking up with the survivors during the last immunity challenge.

"Look here girlie." Iba snapped, flicking a bit of hair out of his face. "Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah…" Haruhi growled, as Toshiro and Momo helped the others restrain her. "One dead son-of-a-bitch in about three seconds!"

Cooperation and teamwork is not in their vocabulary…

* * *

**Back at Tribal Council…**

Aizen pokes the liquefied lump that used to be Yoruichi and counts his money. Meanwhile…Gin heads back to camp in happy, happy, joy, joy bliss…Hanataro is carried back by Kaiba and Fluffy…

**_Next Time on Survivor…_**

_The Jury will decide who now gets the Million Dollars…_

_The Former Contestants escape the island…maybe…I think…_

**_Who Votes Who:_**

_Hanataro: Yoruichi_

Ryo: And there you go! It has all comes down to this! The final two!

Gin Ichimaru and Hanataro Yamada!

Who will win the million dollars?! Who will it be?! WHO?!?!?!?!?!?!

The final tribal council is next so stay tune and read and review!


	38. The Jury Decides

**_Chapter 38: The Jury Decides_**

**Las Noches Tribe… **

Cameraman J is especially bored this morning, considering that none of the remaining survivors are actively trying to kill each other…or him for that matter. In fact, Hanataro and Gin aren't doing much of anything other than playing with their respective pets and contemplating the upcoming Jury vote.

Luckily, Hanataro has now recovered from his injuries. Gin is still as ditzy, goofy, wimpy, and as fluffy as usual. As much as I hate to relay this information…he's back in the red bikini he was wearing at the start of the show.

I know…I think I might be sick too…

* * *

**Somewhere on the Island…**

Haruhi is ahead of the former tree bound and now completely lost survivors. Just behind her, glaring at each other, is Byakuya and Uryu. Walking behind them, carrying the still comatose Soi Fon, is Szayel and Hisagi. Tosen is dragging a mumbling Rangiku along, while Toshiro, Momo and Chad drag along a hogtied and gagged Iba.

Haruhi is still pissed at Iba but she is containing it well. Besides after being thrown in a tree, bugged by numerous hollows, flew through a hurricane, fought off some Adjuchas, survived being chased by a Vasto Lorde, and even went to far as to give her uncle a good thrashing…a little stuck up brown-haired bimbo is really nothing worth bothering about. Still, Haruhi is scratching at her last nerve so she has finally gotten with Tosen and the two of them have devised a plan.

In fact, they are on their way to said plan now. With all the hell that group has been through I certainly hope this works out better than the aerosol canned cheese idea…

* * *

**Tribal Council Area…**

Aizen is back in his usual good spirits and appears to have located his former wardrobe to boot. He's back in his white Espada coat, white shirt, white hakama, purple sash, and even has his normal slick backed brown hair combed to perfection. He's grinning more evilly than usual it seems.

A few minutes later Hanataro, with Kaiba, Fluffy and Liu Kang, wanders into the area. Liu Kang, it would appear likes Hanataro much better than he liked Yoruichi. I guess Hanataro just has a way with animals, or in this case, Hollows. Gin comes skipping in a few seconds later, followed by Samus. Yea, the female plant monster is still creeping me out as well.

Anyway…

"Well now, here we are." Aizen smirked looking over our two remaining survivors. "The final two. How do you feel?"

"Pretty good." Hanataro smiles, patting Kaiba on the head. "Although Gin and his plant are still creeping me out."

"Yeah well, it's creeping me out too, and I'm an evil bastard." Aizen shudders slightly and turns his attention to Gin. "Oh dear god! Put some freaking clothes on!"

While Aizen, and many, many, viewers at home get violently ill, some of the show's crewman arrive on the scene with some spare clothing…

* * *

**- Commercial Break -**

"_Hello."_ _A very buff and extremely rugged looking man steps out in front of the camera, he is dressed in black shinigami robes._ "_Are you looking for a job where you get to swing your swords all day?"_

_The screen fades out, showing several Soul Reapers using their zanpakuto against the Hollows, Menos Grandes and Adjuchas. The Soul Reapers are laughing and drinking beer as the obviously monsters die, rather ridiculously easy I might add._

"_Do you want to be paid obscene amounts of money for very little work?"_

_The screen changes to a Soul Reaper just as he blows away a nearby, and again CGI, hollow. As the dead hollow hits the floor, a woman in a very low cut dress hands the Soul Reaper three large stacks of hundred dollar bills._

"_Then I have just the job for you!"_

_The screen switches back to the rugged looking recruiter as a blonde woman in a bikini struts into the scene holding a large sign which reads: _Join Gotei 13…earn big bucks…do very little work…IT'S FUN!

"_Join the ranks of Soul Society's elite today!"_

_As the screen fades to black the ad finishes off with the telephone number and a little message:_

_1-800-GOTEI-13-WANTS-YOU_

_Gotei 13…we still find the Espada heartless morons…_

* * *

**- Back to the Show -**

Aizen, and the viewers at home, are now feeling better. This is of course thanks to the fact that Gin, pissed though he is, is now dressed in a pair of blue jeans and an black tee-shirt. Incidentally the tee-shirt says: _Aizen for Supreme World Leader!_ The slogan does not go unnoticed by Hanataro.

"Uh, Aizen, question." Hanataro asked.

"Yes?" Aizen said.

"What is it with you and this Supreme World Leader shit?"

"I'm evil, it's what I do."

"Uh…that isn't much of an answer you know." Hanataro cocks his head. "Why the hell are you evil anyway?"

"Evilness is in my blood!" Aizen holds out his arms, laughing insanely. "It's marching through my veins like…RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS!"

Hanataro, Gin, and all the pets stare at Aizen like he has finally and truly lost his mind. Aizen lets his evil laughter trail off, then coughs.

"Now then, we'll bring in the jury." Aizen said. Renji leads the way, followed by Ulquiorra, Urahara, Orihime, Rukia, Grimmjow, Ichigo and Yoruichi. The eight former survivors take their seats on some conveniently placed risers to Hanataro and Gin's right. They look pretty good actually, as the producers let them out of the cage shortly before the show started so they could take a shower and get a change of clothes.

Renji is now back in his white headband, black Shinigami robes and his lieutenant armband wrapped around his left arm. Ulquiorra is now wearing a white shirt that says 'I love NY' on it and a pair of black pants. Urahara is now wearing a straw hat, a sleeveless red shirt, blue shorts and clogs. Why is he dressed like that? I don't know. Maybe it's because he's a huge fan of One Piece. Orihime is now wearing a beautiful red Chinese dress. Rukia is now wearing a white tank top and a light blue miniskirt. Grimmjow is now wearing a black suit, white shirt, black pants and black shoes. Ichigo is now wearing a white Houston Rockets jersey and blue jeans while Yoruichi is now wearing a black bikini top and a red miniskirt. Of course, Rukia's and Yoruichi's outfits are causing several male viewers at home to drool.

"Now then." Aizen clears his throat. "You two will be able to make an opening statement, then each jury member will ask you questions that will no doubt embarrass you and make my night that much more enjoyable, and then when that is over with you two will make your closing arguments. Any questions…no…good. Hanataro, since you won the last immunity challenge, you get to go first."

Hanataro blinks at Aizen for a few moments, wondering if he's going to make another crazy outburst, then finally clears his throat.

"Well, I think you should vote for me because I really wasn't responsible for voting any of you off, with the exception of Yoruichi of course…sorry about that. And, because Gin is a fluff with bad fashion sense. Thank you."

Gin glares at Hanataro, but decides that perhaps the little coward could easily kick his ass. Instead he makes his opening statement.

"I think you should vote for me because Hanataro is a coward who doesn't have the balls to fight the Espada and always runs for his dear life."

What happens next is not that surprising…Hanataro jumps onto Gin…

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

After walking, for what seems like hours but was really only about thirty minutes, the former tree bound survivors find themselves on the outskirts of a clearing. Although, they are still well hidden in the tree line. Carefully they peek through the foliage and are more than slightly surprised by what greets them. There, in the middle of the clearing, is a large restaurant, called _The Hueco Mundo Restaurant and Bar_, three large choppers, several trucks, and about a dozen Survivor crewmen are either milling about or sitting in the restaurant's patio drinking.

"Alright, here's the plan." Haruhi said as she quickly lays out the plan, expressing how grateful she is that Tosen was paying more than a little attention during the last immunity challenge. It seems that when the chopper showed up to break up the chaotic fight, and get Aizen some medical attention, Tosen paid close attention to where it had come from. He then got together with Haruhi and the two of them came up with a plan to steal one of the choppers and escape the island.

Though not very happy about letting Mr. Shades loose, Haruhi untied the very irate Iba. As soon as the gag and ropes come off, Iba goes on a full on rant. Which annoys the hell out of everybody.

"Oh you guys are so going to get it! Do you know who I am?! Why I'm the president of the Shinigami Men's Association and lieutenant of the seventh division. When my captain Komamura hears about what you guys did to me, I'll…"

While Iba is busy ranting, Haruhi sneaks up behind him, pulling out the can of aerosol cheese they had before used for the _Help_ message. Using her bio-enhanced speed, she wrote a message on Iba's back and tossed the now empty can into some nearby bushes. Incidentally the message reads: _Free Food…Please Eat Me!_

As Iba goes on to explain all the horrible things Komamura is going to do to them, the former survivors take two steps away from him as a loud crash echoes across the island. Seconds later, the Vasto Lorde crashes into the scene, knocking over several trees. Iba lets out a blood curdling scream and does exactly what Haruhi and Tosen were anticipating…she ran full tilt into the clearing.

The former tree bound survivors watched the pandemonium with much glee involved.

* * *

**- Another Commercial -**

"_Are you looking for fine family cuisine?"_

_Halibel, smiling widely, trots out in front of the camera. She smiles at the camera as a Hollow, dressed like a waiter, shambles out to stand next to her._

"_Then come to the _Hueco Mundo Restaurant and Bar. _We served only the finest hand-made food and cuisine that the Espada has to offer. Not only that, but your dinner will be served by authentic hollows."_

_Halibel pats the hollow waiter on the head. In response the hollow attacks, trying to eat her. As Halibel screams bloody murder, the scene is hastily replaced by a cute little jingle and an add for the restaurant. Five seconds later Halibel goes running through the screen, still being chased by the hollow…_

* * *

**- Back to the Show -**

Hanataro and Gin both look like they've been run over by Mack trucks. Gin's condition is of course due to the beating he received from Hanataro. Hanataro's current physical problems stem from Aizen beating the hell out of him, really for no good reason but he claims it was to keep Hanataro from killing Gin. Anyway, now that the respective beatings are over, Renji is the first to step down and ask his questions.

"Do you feel that you have played this game well or feel that you were just lucky?" Renji asked.

"Yes, of course we played well, dammit." Hanataro groaned.

"What Hanataro said." Gin said.

Renji growled. He was expecting Hanataro and Gin to give him more detailed answer, but he just shrugged and walks back to his seat. Urahara steps down next, he flips some hair out of his face and clears his throat.

"Gin, who do you think is cuter, me or Orihime?"

Gin's eyes go extremely wide. Needless to say this is a really tough decision for him. On one hand there is his undying devotion to Orihime, on the other hand there is a million dollars at stake.

"Uh…you?"

There is a loud scream of anger from the Jury and Orihime does a flying leap to land on Gin's head. After ten minutes of her beating the shit out of him, Aizen steps in and jerks Orihime off. He tosses her into a nearby empty cage and dusts his hands off, smirking evilly.

"Proceed." Aizen said to Urahara.

"Hanataro, do you think I'm sexier than Yoruichi?" Urahara asked.

"Uh…sure, why not?" Hanataro said dumbfounded. Urahara squeals with joy and sits down. Yoruichi is now glaring daggers at Hanataro, of course Hanataro wasn't exactly counting on her vote in the first place. Grimmjow steps down next and clears his throat.

"Gin, Hanataro, who are the first five presidents of the United States?" Grimmjow asked. This causes Hanataro, Gin, Aizen and the other jury members to stare at Grimmjow dumbfounded.

"What kind of question is that?!" Aizen shrieked.

"Um, the first five presidents are George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and James Monroe." Hanataro said.

"Thanks!" Grimmjow smiled and sits back down on his seat. Next up is Ichigo. He steps down looks at the two men and opts to just make a statement.

"I think Gin is just a freaky little person."

He then sits down and Ulquiorra is next. He opts to not even make a statement, so does Yoruichi, who still looks exceptionally pissed off. So Rukia trots down, smiling happily at the two men.

"Alright. Hanataro, do you think I look sexy in this outfit?" Rukia said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Sure, baby. Why not?" Hanataro said, drooling.

Rukia squeals like a fangirl. "Thank you Hanataro-Chan! Now for you Gin, is it true you like Orihime just a little too much?"

"Not anymore…besides, I finally realize my true crush is Rangiku, not that psycho bimbo." Gin scowled.

This answer is met by loud curses and shrieks from the nearby cage. Rukia smiles and takes her seat. Aizen doesn't bother to let Orihime speak. Instead he motions for Hanataro and Gin to speak. Hanataro of course goes first.

"Well no matter what very cowardly things I've done…Gin is still a freaky little plant monster loving troll."

Gin lets out a high pitched squeak and jumps onto Hanataro.

Aizen sighed and turns to the jury. "Alright jury, it is time to vote which lucky guy will win the million dollar prize. Oh and this time, please only vote once. We are now running out of papers thanks to you tree-killing bastards. Renji, you're up."

As Hanataro and Gin continues fighting, Renji stood up from his seat and walks over to the pot. He writes down a name and holds up the card.

"Hanataro. Congratulations, you ARE the ultimate survivor." Renji smiles as he puts the card into the pot.

Yoruichi is next. She walks up to the pot and writes a name on the card. She then holds up the card.

"Hanataro, I'm still pissed of you, so for my revenge, I'm voting for Gin. Hope you die a horrible death!"

Ichigo walks up to the pot and writes a name on the card. He smirks at the camera.

"You just don't know when to give up, don't cha?" He then holds up the card, revelaing he has voted for Hanataro. He puts the card into the pot.

Ulquiorra walks out to the pot and writes a name down on the card. He holds up the card.

"Gin, despite all the retarded things you have done on the show. I admit, you truly are the ultimate survivor." Ulquiorra then puts the card into the pot.

Grimmjow, Rukia, Urahara and Orihime have all voted as well. But I'm not gonna tell who they voted for, since it will spoil the suspense.

Finally, Aizen bops Hanataro and Gin on the head with a rolled up magazine, almost knocking them unconscious. He then cleared his throat. "I'll read out the votes." He walks over to the pot, grabs it and placed it in front of Hanataro and Gin. He then graces all those present with the most malicious smirk displayed throughout the entire series.

"Now I know you are just dying to see the results of the vote…well, life's a bitch isn't it?"

While everyone present stares, Aizen heads out of the tribal council area carrying the pot. He then crawls inside a waiting chopper and leaves the island…

_**Next Time on Survivor…**_

_Back on the mainland, we will discover who is the winner…_

_The former tree bound survivors make it back to the mainland and wreck havoc at the reunion show…_

_Aizen pushes his evilness to the limit…_

_**Who Votes Who:**_

_Renji: Hanataro_

_Yoruichi: Gin_

_Ichigo: Hanataro_

_Ulquiorra: Gin_

_Grimmjow: ???_

_Rukia: ???_

_Urahara: ???_

_Orihime: ???_

Ryo: Haha! I ended this chapter with a cliffhanger. I'm so evil, am I?! Muahahahaha! (clears throat) Anyways, next chapter is the reunion show and the final chapter of the story (Sobs) I can't believe this story is finally about to be over. Anyways, stay tune and find out who is the winner of the one million dollar prize! Read and review! Also, Aizen saying RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! is a reference to Invader Zim. Heh.


	39. The Reunion Show

**_Chapter 39: The Reunion Show_**

**Somewhere over the Mid Atlantic…**

Haruhi tightened her grip on the Control stick, to the point where it was making some rather unnerving cracking sounds. Byakuya, sitting in the copilot's seat, glanced over uneasily. At this point, breaking the control stick would not be a very good idea.

The cause of Haruhi's anger was sitting in the back with the other former tree bound and totally lost survivors, yelling at the top of his lungs and threatening everyone within listening distance. In retrospect, everyone felt that perhaps they should not have saved Iba from becoming a Vasto Lorde snack.

"I'm the Vice Captain of the seventh division! I'll have your jobs! You'll be living in the Gotei 13 prisons for the next two hundred years! And furthermore…"

Secretly, everyone was wondering how long it was going to be before Haruhi killed him in a very painful and messy way…

* * *

**Meanwhile at Soul Society Studios at Soul Society…**

All of the former contestants, plus their pets, are assembled on stage ready for the results of the vote. Everyone of them had been given the chance to take a shower and get a change of clothes, including our two prospective winners. All of the former contestants are now wearing the clothing from the anime.

Yoruichi is back to wearing her orange robes and black tight pants. Ichigo, Rukia and Renji are back in their black shinigami robes. Grimmjow is back in his white jacket and white hakama. Orihime is back in her white Espada clothing, making the male viewers drool. Rebecca, apparently, has opted for the alternate leather outfit from RE0. Urahara is back in his black haori, green robes, clogs and green and white striped hat. Thank goodness because his Monkey D. Luffy clothing was freaking me out and Ulquiorra is back in his Espada clothing as well.

And finally, Hanataro is back in his black shinigami robes and Gin is currently wearing…shudders…Orihime's purple blouse and yellow skirt. Right now, I suspect the viewers at home are getting violently ill.

In the audience were Kenpachi Zaraki, Senna, Ikkaku Madarame, Isshin Kurosaki, Yumichika Ayagesawa, Izuru Kira, Marechiyo Omaeda, Shunsui Kyoraku, Retsu Unohana, Isane Kotetsu, Kiyone Kotetsu, Sajin Komamura, Nanao Ise, Yachiru Kusajishi, Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Nemu Kurotsuchi and Kaien Shiba, who are all here to cheer for the contestants.

Also in the audience, L is happily munching a strawberry muffin. Next to him is Light Yagami, who is currently unconscious and his body is filled with cuts and bruises and he is also currently wrapped in ropes and chains. Next to Light was Allen Walker, who thank goodness now recovered from his drunkenness and back in his black uniform. Next to him were Lenalee and Lavi.

Also in the audience, Ryo Muang is looking particularly proud of himself. No doubt this is due to the overwhelming success of the show and the fact that he never thought he'd ever get to the end of it…not with his sanity intact anyway. Sitting on his right were his friends, LuckyKazeLight, Jean Kazuhiza and Glowworm666. Next to the three friends is BakaMilkShake, who wishes to have a chance to maim Orihime and Ichigo when the show is over. Next to BakaMilkShake were also Beyond Flight who is currently sobbing because her favorite fanfic is about to come to an end, musicallady1 who is playing her Nintendo DS, 0mohni0 who is currently wearing a shirt that says 'Inuyasha and Fruits Basket Rulez!', Fourpeg who sobbing that neither Toshiro nor Hinamori are here at the studios, and Syrena Li who is dressed like Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

You know with all these funny author pennames floating around I suspect the viewers at home are going to get extremely confused, a condition that does not seem to be bothering Ryo Muang in the slightest. He's evil, what more can I say?

Anyway…

While Ryo is gloating over his great success, Aizen finally arrives with the voting pot. There is a resounding cheer from the audience, several women go so far as to swoon at the site of him. Aizen smirks and sets the pot down on a table near the former contestants. His smirk widens as he said, "Hello everybody! Welcome to the reunion show! Now I know all of you are dying to know who is the winner of the one million dollar prize, right?" This causes the audience to cheer louder. "Alright! Here we go!"

He lifts the lid of the pot and…

* * *

**Commercial Break!**

_Stark and Yammy come running into camera view. In their hands is an extremely large cardboard box._

"_HELLO!" The two Espada members scream in unison, shattering several nearby windows and killing some poor old woman by exploding her pacemaker. The two hyperactive Espada members do not appear to notice the carnage they have wrought. Instead they drop the large cardboard box they are carrying and smile brightly at the camera. I should take this opportunity to mention the box is roughly six and half feet tall and five feet wide._

"_We at the Espada, know how excited everyone is about the new Survivor…so we've designed the perfect collectable for you fans at home!" Stark smiled like a moron._

_He and Yammy then jump up and down in unabashed glee. Yammy is the first one to shake off the effects of unchecked perkiness and sleep deprivation to speak._

"_So we've created an Aizen you can own!" Yammy said. He and Stark rip open the box to reveal an exact replica of Sosuke Aizen, in his Espada clothing. _

"_Just call the number at the bottom of the screen and take your choice between Gotei 13 version or Espada version! JUST ADD WATER!" Stark said._

_Then the two screamed in unison…_

"_CALL TODAY!"_

_A number and brief message pop up on the bottom of the screen:_

_1-800-1-AIZEN_

_Disclaimer__: The Espada will not be held responsible if your Aizen tries to kill and/or maim you. We will also not be held responsible if your Aizen tries to take over the world. DO NOT under any circumstances allow your Aizen to come in contact with Gotei 13's Ichigo Kurosaki model. If any Aizen model comes in contact with an Ichigo model, we and Gotei 13 will not be held responsible for any ensuing property damage…Thank You…_

* * *

**Back to the Show...**

Back at Soul Society Studios, Aizen is just finishing up beating the hell out of the man responsible for cutting to commercial just as he was preparing to tell everyone present who won the million dollars. After some more tortured screams, Aizen saunters back into camera view, wiping a bit of blood from his hands. He grins evilly at the audience, again causing women to swoon, and clears his throat.

"Since I have better things I could be doing with my time, I'm not reading every frigging vote in this jar. Instead I'm simply going to impart to you imbeciles the news that Hanataro Yamada has won the one million dollar prize."

**(HANATARO YAMADA – Winner of Survivor: Bleach Style)**

There is some shouts of joy from the audience, the former survivors, and loud sobbing from Gin…which everyone ignores. Hanataro proceeds to jump up and down as two scantily clad women hold up an oversized check made out to Hanataro. Aizen continues to smirk with evil glee as a third scantily clad woman struts out holding the actual check for one million dollars…

* * *

**Somewhere over Soul Society…**

"Just you wait! My captain is not going…"

"THAT'S IT!"

There is a loud cracking sound as Haruhi snaps the chopper control stick in half, dives into the back, and beats Iba mercilessly about the head and shoulders. As the chopper spins out of control, Byakuya desperately tries to get it UNDER control while the remaining passengers are torn between screaming from fear and cheering Haruhi on…

* * *

**Back at Soul Society Studios…**

Just as scantly clad woman number three passes the check to Aizen, he neatly plucks the check from her hand. Needless to say this causes the joyful celebration to end quick, fast, and in a hurry. Although I must say no one seems very surprised.

In the audience, Ryo has donned a construction hat and has crawled under his seat, L, Light, Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Jean, Lucky, GW, BakaMilkShake, Beyond Flight, musicallady1, 0mohni0, Fourpeg and Syrena Li follow suit. While Ryo is hiding, Aizen breaks down into a fit of evil laughter, which lasts for several minutes. Just as everyone looks to be getting bored, he wraps it up.

"Ah well then, it was very nice watching…all…of…" Aizen trails off as a high pitched whine echoes through the studios. However he quickly recovers. "As I was saying, it was…"

"DIE MR. SHADES!"

Even Aizen looks shocked by the echoing scream which appeared to be coming from outside. Suddenly the whine increases, which is followed by more muffled shouting from outside and above the studios…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"DIE, SHADES, DIE!"

"WE'RE GOING DOWN!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Just as Aizen tries to once again make his intentions known, there is a loud crash directly above him…

"Holy shit!" Aizen shrieked. He and the rest of the contestants dive out of the way as a large chopper crashes through the roof of the studios. The audience scatters out the door like scared chickens as debris rains down on them, with the exception of the Soul Reapers and L, Light, Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Ryo, Jean…who are still hiding under their chairs.

The former contestants, still on stage and now in various states of injury, slowly get to their feet. Aizen, laying near the edge of the stage, slowly stands, coughing at all the dust in the air. He glances up as the nose of the chopper, which is hanging about five feet from the stage floor. Inside he spots Byakuya, twitching slightly and looking ready to hurl.

"Damn Byakuya, can't…SHIT!" Aizen hastily dodges as a body comes flying out of the side door of the chopper and hits Gin in the head, knocking him unconscious. The body is none other than the now severely beaten Iba. Seconds later, Haruhi's head appears at the chopper door. It takes all of three seconds for her to spot her uncle.

"You!" Haruhi yelled.

"Now niece, calm down." Aizen holds up his hand, trying to pacify his niece. In the process he displays the stolen check, which only seems to piss Haruhi, and the other former tree bound survivors, off even more. Haruhi drops onto the stage, just as Aizen takes a tentative step backwards. Seconds later, Chad and Uryu jump out, holding what appears to be rather large pipes. Szayel, Hisagi and Tosen jump out next, brandishing large wooden planks. Momo, Toshiro, Soi Fon and Rangiku are just behind them holding what look to be whips, much like Rukia's. The final person out is Byakuya, holding his zanpakuto.

"Get him!" Haruhi cried.

The former tree bound survivors jump onto Aizen and beat the hell out of him. Seconds later the other former contestants, with the exception of the unconscious Gin, jump onto Aizen and beat the hell out of him as well. Another few seconds later, the Souel Reapers at the audience looked at each other for a moment, then they all shrug, got up to the stage and beat the hell out of Aizen as well.

While the former contestants and the Soul Reapers whale the shit out of Aizen, Hanataro smiles in glee as he grabs the real check and skips off with Kaiba, Fluffy and Liu Kang in tow. Ryo, Lucky, Jean, GW and the other authors are watching the show and eating popcorn…

* * *

**Several Hours Later…**

"Well, that was fun." Haruhi smiles brightly. "Come on Byakuya, let's go get a pizza."

Haruhi and Byakuya walk off, holding hands, in search of a Pizza Hut resturant.

Seconds later, Toshiro and Momo emerge from the sduios and they are both smiling in glee, mainly because they finally got their revenge on Aizen which they always wanted.

"That was fun!" Toshiro smiled.

"Come on Shiro-Chan! Let's go!" Momo grins. She and Toshiro hold hands and they both skip off to a nearby McDonald's restaurant.

Ichigo, Rukia, Renji, Orihime, Uryu and Chad all walked out of the studios with smiles on their faces and the heroes all hold hands and skip off to a nearby Subway restaurant.

Gin happily walks out of the studios with Rangiku, who is holding hands with him. The two finally got together and decided to walk to the park and have their first date.

Yoruichi walks out of the studios while carrying Soi Fon, who is hugging her passionately, on her back.

"Come Soi Fon, let's go." Yoruichi smiled.

"Okie dokie!" Soi Fon squealed. Yoruichi then carries her all the way to a nearby Wendy's restaurant.

All in all, all the former survivors step out of the studios and head off on theie separate ways. With the exception of our dear injured Aizen…who's poor mangled body has been drug off stage by Ryo and hauled back to his apartment…

**THE END**

_Who Votes Who:_

_Renji: Hanataro_

_Yoruichi: Gin_

_Ichigo: Hanataro_

_Ulquiorra: Gin_

_Urahara: Hanataro_

_Rukia: Hanataro_

_Grimmjow: Hanataro_

_Orihime: Hanataro_

Ryo: And there you go. That's the end of Survivor: Bleach Style. Hanataro has won the one million dollar prize and went to the Bahamas to celebrate his victory, Haruhi and the former survivors are back to being themselves and poor Aizen is still being tortured…which no one cares. Thank you so much for all of your support and reviews and yes, I too am sad that the story is over. But don't worry because there will always be new Bleach fanfics from me in the future!

Thank you all and without your support, this story wouldn't have more than 200 reviews and 14,000 hits! So until next time, READ AND REVIEW!


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